Open letter to all RINOs:

Wouldn’t you rather be an elephant?

Click pic for story.

Yeah, me too.

Glad to see they’re keeping track of what matters in Austin:

A day of honors

Honors and special recognitions abounded in the House on Monday, if not a speedy adjournment on the last day of the session.

Rep. Carter Casteel, R-New Braunfels, and Rep. John Mabry, D-Waco, earned the title of Republican and Democrat freshman of the year, a designation chosen by House members.

The Legislative Study Group named Rep. Hubert Vo, D-Houston, Freshman of the Year, and the House Democratic Caucus split the same honor among three new representatives — Rep. Melissa Noriega of Houston; Rep. Marc Veasey of Fort Worth; and Rep. Yvonne Gonzalez Toureilles of Alice.

Rep. Joe Straus, R-San Antonio, received double honors, being recognized as Freshman of the Year by the two-member House Jewish Caucus (Rep. Scott Hochberg, D-Houston, and Rep. Elliott Naishtat, D-Austin) and the quickly formed Joe Caucus, created by Rep. Joe Driver, R-Garland.

Casteel competed against 27 Republican freshman members, and Mabry beat out 10 other Democratic freshmen.

The Rob Caucus at Lone Star Times has named Matt Bramanti "Matt with a last name that starts with a B" of the year.

Strongbow asks about this post:

This actually intrigues me quite a bit since I see my precinct is currently without a chair person. What is the selection process after the application is submitted? What duties are required of the chair person? If it gives me a chance to chew out wayward State Legislators, and actually have a chance at being heard, then I am all over it.

1. Selection process: For vacant precincts, you appear before the Vacancy Committee and then the Executive Committee as a whole votes to approve appointments. You could also file to run for the office in the GOP primary. Then the selection is made by the voters. If one person files, and that person is eligible to hold the office, that’s the precinct chair.

2. Duties: The duties are what the chair makes of them. Legally, the duties are next-to-nothing. In practice, this is what I think is the minimum expected of a precinct chair:

• Attend the Executive Committee meetings of the county party (4/year).
• Run the precinct convention on primary day.
• Keep track of new development in the precinct.
• Serve as the liaison from the Republican Party to the voters in precinct.
• Get out the Republican vote in the precinct in general elections.

Concerning the comment about being heard, the amount that one is heard is directly proportional to the amount to which one can mobilize voters.

The first point of the Scout Law isn’t ambiguous at all:

A Scout is Trustworthy.

I’ve been involved with Scouting since I was six years old, and I’ve always had a strong faith in the Scouting movement. That’s why it’s so disappointing to see this apparent lapse in judgement on the part of Atlanta-area Scout officials:

An independent investigation of the Atlanta-area Boy Scouts found that the organization inflated its number of black Scouts by more than 5,000 in a program for inner-city youth.

The executive director of the Atlanta Boy Scouts resigned after the report was released.

The audit found that former Scouts too old to participate remained on the memberships lists and that boys who had only attended informational meetings about the program were signed up.

In one example, an official changed the birth date of 87 Cub Scouts so they would be old enough to participate in the program. In another case, an official continued to report membership of a church Boy Scout unit although the church had burned down three years earlier.

The inflated numbers also included 200 Scout units that did not exist.

That said, it’s heartening to see the response by Scouting officials at the state level, who quickly commissioned this audit in order to get to the bottom of this. The Boy Scouts of America is an organization that’s done wonders for millions of boys, and I’d hate to see its reputation sullied by a handful of bad apples.

Put this one in the ever-expanding "Idiot Parents" file:

A mother faces criminal charges after she hired a stripper to dance at her 16-year-old son’s birthday party.

Anette Pharris, 34, has been indicted by a grand jury on charges of contributing to the delinquency of a minor and involving a minor in obscene acts. The boy’s father, the stripper and two others also face charges.

"I tried to do something special for my son," Pharris said. "It didn’t harm him."

Gee, who could have expected that a single mother who gets knocked up at 17 could be so irresponsible? Oh yeah, everyone.

Now take a look at how this meathead got pinched:

Anette Pharris took photos at the party and tried to have them developed at a nearby drug store. Drug store employees notified authorities, police said.

Yeah, that’ll happen when you drop photographic evidence of a crime right into someone’s lap. In the interest of fairness, let’s hear from Ms. Pharris:

"Who are they to tell me what I can and can’t show to my own children?" the mother said.

Translation: "Next year I’m getting him a hooker."

[Hat-tip: Van Smack]

An interesting tidbit in light of our recent Jillian’s rally:

An unidentified man in a Darth Vader mask robbed an Orlando, Florida convenience store early Tuesday, making off with money and cigarettes. Witnesses claim he fled to a galaxy far far away. (Ok, I made that part up.) According to the story "Darth" fled on foot and is still being sought by police.

BRAMANTI HAS AN ALIBI: It wasn’t me, I swear. If you want to get me into a Darth Vader costume again, you’re gonna have to do better than a couple hundred bucks and a carton of smokes.

Disclaimer: For the terminally dense, I am Jewish, and proudly so.

There is a joke Jews tell each other about three elderly, life-long friends who sit around everyday and read newspapers in the park/at a cafe in Miami Beach/Jerusalem/Vienna, etc.

The gist of the joke is that the first guy reads an "objective" secular newspaper like the New York Times, the second guy reads a Jewish newspaper like The Forward, and the third guy reads a rabidly anti-Semitic  newspaper like Louis Farrakhan’s "The Final Call".

When confronted by his friends as to how in the world he can read that hate-filled rag, Jew #3 answers simply that in his friends’ papers all he reads about are how Jews are being blown-up by suicide bombers, betrayed and libeled at the United Nations, continue to assimilate into extinction, and just sit around arguing bitterly amongst themselves….. whereas in his newspaper the Jews control the banks, the media, American foreign policy, etc., which he enjoys reading much more.

Anyway, it is in that spirit that I have been enjoying, and hereby pass along to you the left-wing moonbattery of "Collective Bellaciao", who claim to know for certain that the final countdown to an attack on Iran is about to expire.

As we say, "From your lips to God’s ears".

Hmm, what to make of this?

May 29th, 2005

A Story That Won’t Fly This Holiday

The Houston Chronicle has a would-be moving story about a Texas unit taking the Nazi flag from over the Reichstag on May 28, 1945. Trouble is, it’s common knowledge that the Russians took Berlin. They hoisted their own flag over the Reichstag on April 30, 1945. You’ll find this article right next to the one on high self-esteem being no substitute for study. (Via Lucianne.)

Posted by floridacracker at May 29, 2005 07:21 PM

Comments

I sent the reporter an email asking about this. I also commented on his complete lack of attribution in this story. I assume he got it from the family of Bobby Woods, but he doesn’t say so. I also asked if he bothered to contact any of the other people who signed the flag for collaboration. All of this stuff is standard journalism, but we seem to not practice our craft anymore. I’ll let you know if he responds.

Posted by: Juan Paxety at May 31, 2005 07:40 AM

I kept checking to be sure this was really the Houston Chronicle. I’ll be interested in hearing what you find out from the author.

Posted by: Donnah at May 31, 2005 08:17 AM

LST readers, feel free to help them follow this up– and thanks, Florida Cracker– we need all the help we can get watching the Chronicle, even from folks out of state!

UPDATED 12:08– I just got off the phone with a woman in the Eudy household– she knew why I was contacting her ("People are upset, the Russians got there first") and claimed that Mr. Eudy had written the article "with the best of intentions" but had been "misled". Mr. Eudy was out of the house but given my contact info and encouraged to reply in person and get his side of the story out ASAP; I will keep you informed of any further developments. Let me be clear– LST is not accussing Mr. Eudy or anyone else involved in this matter of any wrongdoing, only trying to find out how this happened.

From the Department of Congressional Chutzpah:

At least 43 House members and dozens of aides failed to publicly report travel financed by special interests until Majority Leader Tom DeLay’s trips were scrutinized, an Associated Press review shows.

Despite a rule requiring public disclosure within 30 days after a trip’s conclusion, the AP found at least 198 recently filed travel reports that were as much as eight years late.

The review covered pre-2005 trips that were disclosed since early March, when news articles questioned whether a lobbyist paid for some of DeLay’s travel. A House rule prohibits lawmakers from accepting travel expenses from lobbyists.

Most of the previously undisclosed trips occurred in 2004, but some dated back to the late 1990s. House Minority Whip Steny Hoyer, D-Md., recently disclosed 12 trips, the oldest dating back to 1997.

Stacey Bernards, a spokeswoman for Hoyer, said the office searched the files after the travel issue was raised initially by "Republicans doing opposition research to deflect from their own ethical issues."

Hoyer’s undisclosed trips were nearly doubled by Rep. Ellen Tauscher, D-Calif., with 21. Rep. Luis Gutierrez, D-Ill., reported 20 past trips and Rep. Elijah Cummings, D-Md. reported 13.

It is true, by the way, that many Republicans were similarly tardy in their paperwork.

But that is the point– ideal or not, DeLay’s filing "issues" are routine among congressional officials and unworthy of the Scarlett O’Hara panic attack the mainstream media has worked itself into the past few weeks.

You demanded it– now it’s here– Edd Hendee’s Handy-Dandy Property Tax Appraisal Protest Form

It almost makes wasting your valuable time to try to convince the government you deserve to keep more of your own money fun! Almost.

And be sure to read further to learn valuable tips from LST readers and CLOUT members on how to successfully protest your appraisal.

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Forge Toon Archives

7/1/05

6/20/05

6/1/05

5/27/05

5/23/05

5/19/05

5/17/05

5/16/05

5/13/05

Forge Toon Archives

E-mail Matt

You can always count on good ol’ Aretha Williams to get your heart started in the morning. Just like any good workout routine, your heart rate starts at a normal level and the farther you get in to the exercise your heart starts pumping and your blood pressure starts rising (the same way it did the first time you did the new, 90-minute power workout and felt like your brain was being driven through your skull two minutes into the warmup). As I perused this morning’s local version of Il Manifesto, a.k.a. the San Antonio Express-News, I was pleasantly surprised to find one of their regular contributors addressing the problem of the sexualization of children. However, as I investigated further, I realized that this was just a veiled attempt to demonize everything America stands for, in accordance with Miss Williams’ continuing efforts to undermine the American ideals of individual thought and personal responsibility. To wit: Capitalism is evil, and parents have no business raising their own children.

To support her ongoing campaign to vilify any and all traditional American values, Miss Williams cited Harvard Medical School psychologist Dr. Susan Linn. According to this "enlightened" instructor, the rising onslaught of sexual images and attitudes that have been foisted upon our children for the past 40 years was a conspiracy solely driven by the "evil corporations". Dr. Linn has written a book titled Consuming Kids: The Hostile Takeover of Childhood. Her work has been featured on such bastions of unbiased reporting as Sixty Minutes, Now With Bill Moyers, and Weekend News Tonight. Miss Aretha cites several examples of Dr. Linn’s progressive ideas about the consequences of uncontrolled advertising.

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With the holiday upon us, it is time to reflect on the reason for the day. Originally established to honor Civil War dead, Memorial Day today pays respects to those who have given their lives in all our nation’s wars.

The day is a time for reflection, remembrance, and gratitude.

We at Lone Star Times salute our veterans and those on active duty, and thank them for their service and sacrifice.

Doctors in Britain are doing it. They’re calling for a ban on long, pointed kitchen knives to reduce stabbing deaths. Citing a rise in violent crime, the use of kitchen implements in up to half of stabbings, and the impulsive nature of many assaults, the doctors claim that banning such utensils would curb violence.

Britain already has a virtual ban on firearms and restrictions on knives similar to those here in the States, but carving up one’s spouse with a Ginsu seems to be a big problem across the pond.

According to the story:

"The Home Office is looking for ways to reduce knife crime.” "We suggest that banning the sale of long pointed knives is a sensible and practical measure that would have this effect."

In fact the researchers went to the experts on this one:

The researchers said there was no reason for long pointed knives to be publicly available at all. They consulted 10 top chefs from around the UK, and found such knives have little practical value in the kitchen.

Apparently the chefs saw no use for long knives in carving meat or dicing fruit and vegetables. Shorter pointed blades are given a pass, since they would likely “only” cause superficial wounds and not reach vital organs in a stabbing.

New opposition slogan: “When steak knives are outlawed only outlaws will eat steak.”

Presumably, workmen will eventually be consulted about the usefulness of screwdrivers, hammers, and other tools, students about the necessity of pencils, woodsmen about the usefulness of axes and chainsaws, et cetera. Any trade’s dangerous tools will be fair game as the violent abuse pointed objects.

The old saying “you can’t legislate morality” comes to mind.

BRAMANTI ADDS: This was my favorite line:

They consulted 10 top chefs from around the UK, and found such knives have little practical value in the kitchen.

I didn’t know Britain had 10 chefs. You’ve got to remember this is a country whose crowning culinary achievements include baked beans on toast and black pudding.

COURREGES ADDS:I love the New York Times headline on this: "British Medical Experts Campaign for Long, Pointy Knife Control."

The Times also quotes a spokesman for the Brady Campaign, who says his movement is "envious" of Britain for having these problems. I think that tells you everything you need to know about the gun-grabbers.

click here

Yesterday I called into Dan’s show to respond to a caller who asked what should people do to get involved.

My idea is that the first thing you can do is contact your GOP precinct chairman. I’m one (for precinct 0814) and it’s my impression that the grassroots of the party is as disappointed in this legislative session and lack of tax relief as the KSEV audience.

You can find your precinct chair by clicking here. Drop them a note, e-mail, or phone call. Be prepared for them to be as ready for action as you and for them to be on your side. Most precinct chairs I’ve met are good folks.

If you don’t have a precinct chair, become one. The influence a precinct chair can have is up to him/her. I’ve been a chair for less than three years and in 2004 I was on the committee who decided whom we sent to the state convention.

Here’s what happens when you combine protectionism with powerful unions — a nation frightened out of its wits that it won’t have enough toilet paper:

Shoppers in Finland have raided shelves for toilet paper in fear of it running out as a lockout of workers keeps the Nordic country’s paper mills shut.

"As soon as we get a delivery, the packages vanish off the shelves," said Hille Laine, manager of a central Helsinki shop that had no tissue paper products left.

"The big bags go first."

Paper makers enforced a four-week lockout on May 18 following a two-day strike by workers.

The dispute in the key export sector is mainly over industry’s plans to scrap mill shutdowns during some holidays and on the use of outside labour.

The latest round of talks between workers and employers ended without a deal on Wednesday, meaning that the lockout will continue at least until Monday when they are due to meet again.

Sheesh.

North Korea’s Kim Jong-il has grown in stature, thanks to a pair of platform shoes that increased the Dear Leader’s height by about five inches.

Now he can proudly look directly into a lady’s sternum. 

  

Texas Family Finds Baby Opossum in Toilet

News of this incident has incited protest violence leaving at least 15 small woodland creatures dead.

 

A former Connecticut police officer has been sentenced to 20 days in jail for lewd conduct involving a toy banana.

The toy banana is said to be suing for half a million dollars and it looks good that the suit will be successful, said its lawyer (who gets 100% of the award).

  

British women on the Mediterranean island of Cyprus plan to make the world’s longest chain of bras to heighten breast cancer awareness and raise funds for research.

And American liberals on the Island of Manhattan, in hopes of increasing awareness of Saddam Hussein’s poor jail conditions and raising funds for his defense, plan to make the world’s tallest tower of heavily starched underwear.

 

A woman known as the "butter cow lady" for her life-size butter sculptures of dairy cows says she wants to do a likeness of golfer Tiger Woods at the Iowa State Fair.

I guess you could say she was "moo-ved" by Tiger’s ability to "cream" the ball and "milk" it for all it’s worth when he tees off and wanted to "butter up" the golf legend by "churning" out the sculpture. (Really really bad joke of the day)

  

Online world bets on Jackson trial outcome

Here are the results of the betters’ choices thus far:
Conviction = 1%
Acquittal = 2%
New nose job = 97%.

  

Thailand’s nine anti-corruption commissioners were found guilty on Thursday of awarding themselves extra payments illegally.

What dolts. They should have become politicians so they could legally vote themselves a pay raise.

  

A Canadian province will shut its 24-hour suicide hotline and replace it with one that operates only during business hours.

Another fine decision by Canada’s socialist healthcare system.

  

A former dentist accused of using syringes to squirt his semen into the mouths of female patients was sentenced to probation on seven assault charges Wednesday though he refused to say he was guilty.

Posted without comment.

 

The source of the world’s biggest sperm bank may soon run dry if Danish authorities decide to tax donors.

Hey, I know a dentist willing to help out. 

 

A Mexican government ministry is pushing for the installation of condom machines in secondary schools in less affluent areas to stem a surge in teenage pregnancies.

American citizens are pushing for the installation of a gigantic 10-ft. high electrified condom across the border to stem the surge of illegal immigrants.

  

A transsexual Thai kickboxer…

After an intro like that, does the rest of the story REALLY matter?

  

A white bison calf, said to be a harbinger of peace and unity, according to native American legend, was born on a ranch near Fort St. John in northwestern Canada.

Does this mean that Canadians will suffer the same fate of "peace and unity" that native Americans have?

  

Britain is suffering a sense of humour failure, with laughter levels three times lower now than 50 years ago and nearly half of all adults unable to enjoy at least one big guffaw a day, research showed.

And this very report has bloody well sent the Brits into an even deeper tailspin of humor failure.

  

Alabama police are looking for at least six students who sneaked into a hgh school and spread elephant manure all around the auditorium as part of a graduation prank.

Sounds like what our Republican leaders are spreading on the Senate floor in Austin.

 

See you at the party, folks!

 

All jokes are copyrighted and may not be copied or used without my permission (which I will grant if you’re willing to pay me).

The French have reached another milestone in their struggle to redefine pessimism and depression to an ever-lower standard as they prepare for a resounding non! vote on the European Union Constitution:

THE leader of France’s ruling party has privately admitted that Sunday’s referendum on the European constitution will result in a “no” vote, throwing Europe into turmoil.

“Zee thing, eet ees lost,” Nicolas Sarkozy told French ministers during an ill-tempered meeting. “Eet will be a little ‘non’ or a big ‘non’,” he was quoted as telling Jean-Pierre Raffarin, the Prime Minister, whom he accused of leading a feeble campaign.

France has also finally admitted that it is superior to all those other puny so-called European nations who refuse to stay in their proper place:

The mood of pessimism that descended on the French Government after ten successive polls showing the “no” camp leading was echoed by Valéry Giscard d’Estaing, the former French President, who drafted the constitution. He blamed the failures of the “yes” campaign on the half-heartedness of France’s leaders.

 “Our current leaders are of course believers in the idea of Europe but in their heart of hearts they are not men and women who are inspired by a European feeling,” he told a French newspaper.

"Disarray" is French for "our leaders suck."

Thanks to the watchful eye of the Media Research Center, you can watch video of NBC’s latest smear against a conservative:

The season finale of NBC’s Law & Order: Criminal Intent, which aired Wednesday night, portrayed House Majority Leader Tom DeLay as a hero to white supremacist gun nuts suspected of murdering two judges, one of them black, and who had expressed the view that the white woman judge who was murdered was a "race traitor" who raised her family in the "Zionist enclave of Riverdale."

When the ballistics on the bullet which killed the black judge showed it was fired by the same rifle which was used to kill the white judge, New York City Police Department "Detective Alexandra Eames" suggested to her fellow detectives and an Assistant District Attorney: "Maybe we should put out an APB for somebody in a Tom DeLay T-shirt." Another detective then presented evidence the shooter came from the West, prompting Eames to point out: "Home of a lot of white supremacist groups."

This is why we don’t watch television in our house. At all.

Click pic for horrifyingly tragic story.

From Spoons:

A burglar breaks into your house and steals $500.

Outraged, you declare, “I am going to put new locks on the doors, install an alarm, and sue that burglar to get my money back!”

The burglar, who happens to be your next door neighbor, asks, “Don’t you think that’s a little extreme?”

You hesitate, “Well… uh… I don’t know….”

The burglar proposes: “How about this? I’ll give you back $300. You promise not to change the locks or install an alarm, and don’t go to the cops with this. In return, I promise that I won’t break into your house and steal from you anymore unless I really, really need the money.”

If that sounds like a good deal to you, you may be qualified to be a Republican member of the Senate.

Yes, this isn’t entirely fair. Watch me not care.

The Chronicle is lamenting the loss of the “host city” status for the 2009 Superbowl to Tampa in today’s edition:

Maybe we were just too memorable. The National Football League team owners, meeting in Washington, awarded the 2009 Super Bowl to Tampa.

[…]

A widely circulated rationale for Houston’s loss was that the city hosted the game in such impressive fashion in 2004 that the owners felt 2009 was too soon for a return visit. It’s a strange way to reward somebody for throwing a great party.

Considering that the last Superbowl was a net loss for the city (events like these almost always are) perhaps they were doing us a favor after all — saving us from ourselves.

DIGITAL PHOTOGRAPHERS NEEDED!!!

You don’t have to be a professional– although if you are, that’s great, and we will promote your business as a way of saying "thanks" for your volunteer efforts at Jillian’s.

Even if just a "casual" snapper, if you are skilled at using your digital camera and then quickly getting the images uploaded to your computer and out on the web, and you are able to join us for at least significant portions of the event on Friday, please contact me by leaving a comment to this post or emailing directly at lsteditors@gmail.com.

Attention "Hardy"– for some reason, my emails to you keep bouncing back– but yes, please bring your camera!

VOLUNTEERS NEEDED!!!

Show your support by not just attending but actually lending a helping hand! The "work" involved isn’t physically demanding– in fact, it should be a lot of fun.

Basically, the event overall will benefit if we have a team of folks who can lend a hand monitoring various "activity stations" and maybe making a last second "duct-tape run" to Wal Mart.

We are looking for reasonably able-bodied and not easily exhausted adults who can join us for a significant portion of the day. If you’d like to help, please contact me by leaving a comment to this post or emailing directly at lsteditors@gmail.com.

This is your chance to make a "hands on" contribution to the Texas Taxpayer Revolt!

Thanks!

I’ve never been polled, but here’s an interesting online one I just took. It’s on Lt. Gov. Dewhurst’s campaign web site:

Do you agree or disagree that any reductions in local school property tax rates should also include a reduction in the amount that future property appraisals can increase, currently 10%, to a smaller percentage?

I voted Agree, please vote your conscience. Here are the current results (20050526 6:55 AM):

Agree - 808 - 78.7%
Disagree - 200 - 19.5%
User Provided No Response - 19 - 1.9%

If you’re ever in Friendswood, here’s an excellent place for pizza.

And they’re friends of KSEV/CLOUT.

Thanks to Tom for the reminder.

The Austin Chronicle: The Voucher Death Dance

House Speaker Tom Craddick suffered his biggest upset of the session Monday night, when a dozen Republicans broke ranks to defeat a voucher measure that threatened the funding of public schools.

I can’t vouch for the Austin Chronicle’s reliability, but it appears that we know who to thank for vouchers’ failure to get even a pilot program.

Rob, I hardly think this compromise was inevitable. Although the filibuster is an hoary old precedent, it endured during the years when there wasn’t as much obstructionism, and my times have changed…

With the massive degree to which Democrats have been blocking Bush’s nominees, and the likely concomitant response from Republicans, I’d say the filibuster’s days are probably numbered. The political situation has shifted to where everyone is too frustrated to allow a minority party to block floor votes.

This is why I disagree with conservatives like