After being stunned and impressed with the journalistic quality and unimpeachable integrity of Lone Star Times, the Speaker of the House of Representatives decided to take a shot at this whole blogging thing:
This is Denny Hastert and welcome to my blog. This is new to me. I can’t say I’m much of a techie.
You’re kidding.Hastert goes on to attack those EEEVIL oil companies who dare to charge us $2.55 for an explosive product that’s extracted from a two-mile-deep hole in a politically unstable country, shipped halfway around the world, taxed exorbitantly and run through a heavily regulated billion-dollar refinery:
Speaking of the Hurricane season, renewed attention has been brought to the way we refine gasoline in this country. Today, energy companies started reporting their 3rd quarter earnings, and while Americans paying were record prices at the pump, energy companies were making record profits.This is America. And Republicans don’t believe in punishing success.
You know what’s coming next. The "But…" Monkey:
But what are these oil companies doing to bring down the cost of oil and natural gas?
Hastert, you’re a Republican. Try rewording that statement with other commodities.
- "But what are these farmers doing to bring down the cost of sugar?"
- "But what are these lumber mills doing to bring down the cost of two-by-fours?"
- "But what are these gold miners doing to bring down the cost of gold?"
The speaker ends by threatening promising to send us more pearls of wisdom:
I’m going to keep updating this from time to time. It’s not that bad.
Trust me, Denny, it was a lot worse from this end.
11 Responses to “Speaker of the House starts blog”
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October 28th, 2005 at 1:22 pm
The editors of this blog are loosing credibility with me!
October 28th, 2005 at 1:26 pm
To which blog are you referring, Mr. An Observer?
October 28th, 2005 at 2:23 pm
True, this guy is really stupid if he thinks we, as gulf coast residents, who have refineries in our back yard with friends and realitives working in the oil patch, are buying his moronic statemants concerning gas prices.
Most large corporations re-invest profits in new facilities, and updating old equiptment.
When they are regulated to the max, how can they reinvest their profits.
This is one reason we see such large revenues. They are forced by governmental regulation to not re-
invest.
rj
October 28th, 2005 at 3:21 pm
I wonder why so many Republicans are coming out against the oil industry? Is it political postering getting set for upcoming elections.
Is it a greater scheme to draw light into the environment and the refinery issue, an end around to revoke rules and change laws? Curious…
Sorry to say this folks but as much as I like affordable gas and oil profits, the gulf region were our refineries sit is the most polluted region in the USA. I am one of those envro-wheenies and think less SUVs and better public transportation are a better alternative to more refineries.
Comparing farmers to oil barons is laughable most farmers are the poorest people in the nation. Unless you count winerys.
October 28th, 2005 at 3:45 pm
Naw, the Republicans are hounding the oil companies so they can get the Democrats to quit saying we are in IRAQ FOR THE OIL!
It ain’t gonna work, but then Republicans never did understand that Democrats will always say everything is about money and oil…..except for the Democrat’s campaign dollars of course.
October 28th, 2005 at 4:03 pm
Yeah, and all that public transportation worked so well in NOLA too… It worked so well a bunch of people didn’t bother owning cars. When they had to go somewhere that the buses and trolley didn’t go (like maybe Red Stick, or Houston…) they were stuck. They ended up taking thier beloved bus to the superdome instead….
October 28th, 2005 at 4:21 pm
Well I admit logistically public transportaion is a pipe dream in many cases. But I am for getting our country off oil and gas. I know it will take time and a lot of researcha nd science and money too.
But in the meantime we can control our SUV and other large vehicle habits. The problem is we have to make our own choices and be responsible.
October 28th, 2005 at 5:20 pm
The sad part of this story is that for a very small amount of money (I am, of course, talking the standard six figures that congress routinely throws at endangered lizards) Denny could hire me, or possibly even Matt, to teach him how to be a real live smart-aleck so that he could blog properly.
October 29th, 2005 at 8:24 am
#8: I would never sell out my integrity like that. It would have to be a wealthy, good-looking female congresscritter.
October 29th, 2005 at 11:23 am
What no one wants to hear, and very few want to accept is that in the long run higher fuel costs are the only thing that will give us newer fuel efficient technologies, The proposed wind mill off Galveston, and the hi-tech hybred cars would not make much sense at under a buck a gallon fuel costs. We as consumers don’t like paying for $3.00 a gallon gasoline, because it hurts, but the payoff of increasing prices is that it does provide incentives for cleaner, renewable energy sources. The goverment has not beeen able to encourage the research and development that the free market is capable of.
October 31st, 2005 at 9:02 am
I remember when the automakers bitched and moaned about HAVING to install seatbelts, then later airbags. They said they would have to go out of business. Now they tout their saftey systems.
The gov should now mandate 40 mpg. They will bitch and moan while the Japanese make it happen and then they will get on board too. The only way to make Big Corps change is to hit them in the pocketbook. Too bad they dont do the right thing in the first place.
I saw a car comercial the other day, Lexus I think, the car of couse was racing down a winding road,the point was all traction control and 300+ horsepower. Where the hell can you drive a car that can do 140 mph and why do you need that when the fastest speed you can legally drive is 70mph?
Maybe if they put the energy into alternative ways to power the car we could tell OPEC to go screw themselves.