Strange news seems to abound today.

Corrections Officer Not Guilty In Scooby-Doo Attack

An off-duty corrections officer in Florida who was accused of attacking a costumed Scooby Doo character at Universal Studios theme park in Orlando was found not guilty of all charges Thursday…

People in animal costumes are just having a tough time of it lately.

Universal officials told police there was some damage to the costume and the character suffered a headache.

“And I would have gotten away with it too if it weren’t for you meddling kids! Oh wait, the jury found me not guilty. Scratch that.”

Apparently Fred, Daphne, and the gang just couldn’t find enough evidence this time around. Sorry, Scoob.

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Today marks the 230th birthday of the United States Marine Corps.

On this date in 1775, the Continental Congress authorized the first units of Marines, who quickly got busy in the tyranny-overthrow business. They’ve been the industry leader ever since.

In 1921, Maj. Gen. John A. Lejeune, Commandant of the Marine Corps, issued Order No. 47, which is read to every Marine unit worldwide on November 10:

The following will be read to the command on the 10th of November, 1921, and hereafter on the 10th of November every year. Should the order not be received by the 10th of November, 1921, it will be read upon receipt.

(1) On November 10, 1775, a Corps of Marines was created by a resolution of the Continental Congress. Since that date many thousand men have borne the name "Marine." In memory of them, it is fitting that we who are Marines should commemorate the birthday of our Corps by calling to mind the glories of its long and illustrious history.

(2) The record of our Corps is one which will bear comparison with that of the most famous military organizations in the world’s history. During 90 of the 146 years of its existence the Marine Corps has been in action against the Nation’s foes. From the Battle of Trenton to the Argonne, Marines have won foremost honors in war, and in the long eras of tranquility at home, generation after generation of Marines have grown gray in war in both hemispheres and in every corner of the seven seas, that our country and its citizens might enjoy peace and security.

(3) In every battle and skirmish since the birth of our Corps, Marines have acquitted themselves with the greatest distinction, winning new honors on each occasion until the term "Marine" has come to signify all that is highest in military efficiency and soldierly virtue.

(4) This high name of distinction and soldierly repute we who are Marines today have received from those who have preceded us in the Corps. With it we have also received from them the eternal spirit which has animated our Corps from generation to generation and has been the distinguishing mark of the Marines in every age. So long as that spirit continues to flourish Marines will be found equal to every emergency in the future as they have been in the past, and the men of our Nation will regard us as worthy successors to the long line of illustrious men who have served as "Soldiers of the Sea" since the founding of the Corps.

Happy birthday, Marines!

In its predictable editorial slamming U.S. District Judge Ken Hoyt’s ruling that invalidated some contract provision of Mayor White’s horrible SafeClear program, the Chronicle actually manages to make a pretty funny joke:

Whatever one might think of the Safe Clear program’s details, its rationale from the start was about motorist safety rather than making money.

Hahahahahahahahaha! That was a good one. Next we’ll hear that Mayor White’s other programs — such as cracking down on jaywalkers and installing red light cameras — were also always about safety. Man, these guys should do stand-up!

This AP story was just too good to pass up. If you are looking for a new way to lose your job, try this one and let us know how it turns out.

Security Guard Fired for Seeing Ghosts

The issue started on Sept. 11, when Wade Gallegos alerted his supervisor at Neighborhood Patrol of Urbandale that ghosts were haunting a neighborhood he was guarding. The supervisor arrived at the scene, where Gallegos showed him where the ghosts were still apparently standing. The supervisor claimed he saw nothing and fired Gallegos five hours later. The company found no signs of drug use or alcohol.

It gets better. The fired ghost-seeing guard sought unemployment benefits, but the company contested his claim and it ended up in court. Naturally, the judge decided that the man was eligible to receive benefits, but did allow for his questionable use as a guard.

"Such beliefs do render the claimant unfit to act as a security guard," Judge G. Ken Renegar ruled. "The employer cannot have security guards who see ghosts and apparitions and inform the employer, and then the employer sends out the patrol cars."

Hopefully the security company was not paying this man to carry a gun.

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Well, it seems that Bramanti has opened up a whole can of world-view worms when he posted an article on this subject earlier. As a young-earth literal-day dinos-on-the-ark creationist southern baptist boy, I found the statements in the comments section rather fascinating.

Once a theistic evolutionist, I have put more hours into research and study on this subject than I can recount. I even created a website dealing with evolution in my own :::ahem::: "subtle" way (but haven’t added to it in a couple of years).

What I’ve done is extracted statements from the comments section and linked them to websites that I trust to explain/refute the charges way better than I ever could. Simply click the statement to be magically teletransported, with technology brought to you by operational science (not "origins" science), to an answer to it.

These represent my opinions and not necessarily those of any other writers here at LST. Whether you agree with them or not, I hope you find them to be fascinating reading and food for thought…

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In honor of Veterans Day tomorrow, the first U.S. military veteran who emails me at mattbramanti@gmail.com drinks for free at tomorrow’s get-together.

I hope it’s not a sailor. Might have to hock the Bramanti homestead.

Until then, fire away.

Jack Kelly over at Irish Pennants nails it:

CNN’s Carol Linn is an idiot

She described the two Muslim teenagers whose accidental electrocution Oct. 27th ignited the rioting in France as "African-Americans."

"It’s been 11 days since two African-American teenagers were killed, electrocuted during a police chase, which prompted all of this."–CNN anchorman Carol Lin, Nov. 6

Note to CNN: Words mean things. Write that down.