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14 Responses to “Air travelers beware”
  1. ddw2202 on November 18th, 2005 at 10:55 am

    how about we start a collection for one of these bad boys and put right next to the reporters mics…

  2. gregg on November 18th, 2005 at 11:11 am

    This is getting into the thought police area. I can plan to bring down a plane but if all I have on me is a rubber band there aint a whole lot I can do. Is just thinking about it against the law if you have no way to actually do the crime?

    I hope they dont use that machine at the mall when I walk by the Victoria Secrete store.I’ll be busted for sure.

    Or think of the trouble we will have if our wives have one and they ask us if the pants they just bought makes them look fat.(no offense to fat people) Busted for sure.

  3. SimpleSimon on November 18th, 2005 at 11:31 am

    It would be great for use in debates, except we need to keep the fate of Diogenes in mind. He ended up carrying a lamp forever in a quest to find a honest man.

    There are no honest politicians!

    Simple

  4. Sherri on November 18th, 2005 at 11:35 am

    How are they going to detect if a deaf person is lying?

    /my Deaf kid’s mom

  5. Mike Martin on November 18th, 2005 at 11:36 am

    Is just thinking about it against the law if you have no way to actually do the crime?

    Hear that? It’s the sound of fast approaching lawsuits.

  6. Maltboy! on November 18th, 2005 at 11:37 am

    This technology is already available.

    http://funideas.com/product.asp?pid=233

  7. gregg on November 18th, 2005 at 12:30 pm

    Dont worry about the airlines. I am in the last stages of completing my teleportation machine. I am trying to get the Carolina Panther cheerleaders to test the equipment but they wont return my calls.

    Anyone wanting to invest in this let me know. I already have a widow from the Ivory Coast and a ex-President from Nigeria who have promised millions.

    Metro has contacted me also. I think they are afraid my invention will cause the toy train to lose customers and they will lose tons of Fed denero that goes into their pockets.

    Anyone know where I can get some plutonium? I need to generate 1.2 gigawatts to get the flux capacitor to power up. I am supposed to meet these guys from Iran in the mall parking lot tonight but they dont seem too honest.Call my office,ask for Jenny at 867-5309 See ya.

  8. Mike Martin on November 18th, 2005 at 12:42 pm

    I am trying to get the Carolina Panther cheerleaders to test the equipment but they wont return my calls.

    When you get it all worked out, let me know. I’d be happy to volunteer my bathroom for use as a destination for their teleportation. Have Jenny call me to arrange the details.

  9. Michael on November 18th, 2005 at 12:55 pm

    Our biggest new threat. . .Deaf Terrorists. Just when we think we have it figured out, Al-Qaida comes up with something new. How can you tell if they are just ignoring you or are deaf?

  10. gregg on November 18th, 2005 at 1:03 pm

    What if the terrorists develop cyborgs to carry out their sinister plots? They would be able to pass any testing machine. I bet if you follow the money, Dick Chaney and Halliburton have something to do with this machine. Damn evil Republican Industries!

  11. Matt Bramanti on November 18th, 2005 at 1:09 pm

    Gregg, didn’t you get the GOP Security Directive on this? Just like the weather machine, the rule holds for this one:

    DO NOT MENTION THE HALLIBURTON TERRORBOTS.

  12. gregg on November 18th, 2005 at 1:16 pm

    Matt,
    I just intercepted a memo from the alcaders. This is a picture of their new prototype cyborgs. They look harmless dont they!Yeh baby,yeh.
    http://i.timeinc.net/ew/dynamic/imgs/040713/165732__fembots_l.jpg

  13. squawkbox on November 18th, 2005 at 2:20 pm

    Matt Bramanti
    Toss gregg the keys and take a break.

  14. shannon on November 18th, 2005 at 2:35 pm

    So Bubba Clinton will have to ride in Jane Fonda’s bus from now on.

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