Eyebrows aren’t EEEVIL enough for this guy.
Satan, a notorious criminal and embodiment of pure evil, has finally been caught after a millenia-long manhunt, thanks to the brilliant police work of sheriff’s deputies in Florida:
A naked man in Lake County, Fla., claiming to be Satan was arrested after he threatened to kill a sheriff’s deputy and then injured the man in a neighborhood street, according to a police report.
When deputies arrived, they found Roy Lee Henson walking with his boxer shorts around his ankles and screaming wildly, according to the report.
Henson then lunged at a sheriff’s deputy, the report said.
Backup officers arrived and took Henson into custody as the man screamed he was Satan.
The sheriff’s deputy suffered minor injuries when he was kicked during the struggle with Henson, according to the report.
Henson has been booked into the Lake County Jail on $10,000 bond.
He faces charges of aggravated assault on a officer, resisting arrest with violence, exposure of sexual organs and disorderly conduct.
Satan, aka Beelzebub, Mephistopheles, Lucifer and the Prince of Darkness, is expected to be charged for a number of other crimes, including possession of an unlicensed pitchfork, killing the czar and his ministers and laying traps for troubadours. His confession is here.
[Hat-tip: Wes D, for pointing out Satan’s lack of eyebrows]
21 Responses to “Satan cast into depths of hell county jail”
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December 27th, 2005 at 12:33 pm
Yike! He certainly looks evil (not that there is anything wrong with that!) Notice his hair? Is that a rug? And what is that on the side of his face?
December 27th, 2005 at 12:38 pm
I was expecting Satan to look more like this,
http://www.firecracker.mu/images/Halloween2003/images/she_devil.jpg
Man am I disapointed.
December 27th, 2005 at 1:00 pm
gregg, c’mon man, you just want to fork her.
December 27th, 2005 at 1:02 pm
Whoooooa now. Y’all are risking the wrath of Benzion!
December 27th, 2005 at 1:05 pm
#3 HS - LOL! You have a devilish sense of humor!
December 27th, 2005 at 1:07 pm
She’s “hot!”
December 27th, 2005 at 1:07 pm
How is it that the fruitcakes always seem to end up in Florida?
Another example:
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,179793,00.html
I guess Floridians could peruse Texas news and find a few whack-jobs here as well, but they seem to have a higher than usual nut/normal ratio.
December 27th, 2005 at 1:19 pm
One more for good measure:
December 27th, 2005 at 2:06 pm
Here’s another one, although not in Florida:
Woman Tries Swallowing Phone to End Spat With Lover
BLUE SPRINGS, Missouri (Dec. 24) — It was a conversation stopper. A lovers’ dispute over a cell phone took a serious turn early Friday morning when the woman ended the spat by swallowing the phone whole. Police said they received a call at 4:52 a.m. from a man who said his girlfriend was having trouble breathing. When they arrived at the house they found the 24-year-old woman had a cell phone lodged in her throat.
“He wanted the phone and she wouldn’t give it to him, so she attempted to swallow it,” Detective Sgt. Steve Decker of the Blue Springs Police Department. “She just put the entire phone in her mouth so he couldn’t get it.” Police said an ambulance transported the woman to St. Mary’s Medical Center in Blue Springs. A hospital spokeswoman said she could not give details about the woman’s health since police have not released her identity.
Decker said police had closed investigations on the swallowing, the first such incident of its kind here.
“This is the first I’ve heard of this happening,” said Decker. “I don’t know what kind of phone it was. I don’t know if it was on ring or vibrate, either.”
December 27th, 2005 at 2:27 pm
pm, now they are saying she didn’t swallow it, but that he jammed it down her throat. I’ve been mad at my wife before, and she has a big mouth sometimes, but I would never shove a cellphone in it!
Gregg, don’t even go there!
December 27th, 2005 at 4:12 pm
DELETED BY BRAMANTI FOR REASONS THAT SHOULD BE OBVIOUS TO THE COMMENTER
December 27th, 2005 at 5:17 pm
Hey little mikey,
are you cuttin in on my turf? I’m the only one who gets deleted around here. Me and the penguin are close see. I do the cussin an dirty joke tellin an he does the deletin.
December 27th, 2005 at 6:23 pm
#12 - Gregg, little mikey didn’t like your monopoly! He wanted a little of the action. (not that there is anything wrong with that!)
December 27th, 2005 at 6:33 pm
Blue Springs, MO…. Hey, I used to live there!
It was like 30 years ago… I think the collective IQ of that town was cut in half when my brother and I were dragged here, kicking and screaming, by my parental units…
December 27th, 2005 at 6:37 pm
#14 - That’s funny! How big a place is Blue Springs?
December 27th, 2005 at 6:58 pm
actually I was wishing that the devil looked like this..
http://imdb.com/gallery/ss/0230030/Ss/0230030/3?path=gallery&path_key=0230030
December 27th, 2005 at 7:29 pm
#16.
Are you my lost twin separated at birth?
December 27th, 2005 at 8:49 pm
rawr.. Liz Hurley… mmmm
anyway.. Blue Springs, which is about 10 miles east of Kansas City (and 4 miles east of Independence, where Harry Truman was from and where the Oregon Trail started), had about 7,000 people when we moved there in 1971, about 15,000 when we moved away in ‘75, and according to the city’s website, now has about 50,000 people living in that area.
December 27th, 2005 at 8:54 pm
The devil made me do it.
December 27th, 2005 at 9:01 pm
One more from Florida:
http://www.shortnews.com/web/id/49476/u_id/56602/x_id/Man%20Kills%20Wife%20for%20Wanting%20to%20Cuddle%20after%20Sex/start.cfm
December 27th, 2005 at 10:22 pm
#20
well, there IS a reason why Fark.com has a “Florida” tag… that is just another reason… hah