While perusing the news briefly this afternoon I came across this story:

Serial robber targets fast food restaurants

The description of the perp is the real eye-catcher.

The suspect is described as a white male, in his 40s, about 5′10" to 6′10", medium to stocky build, with light brown hair and light colored eyes.

Hopefully that’s just a typo.

We all saw and heard the reports of the tragic ferry disaster last week in the Red Sea, where more than a thousand people were lost at sea. What we will probably never see or hear in the Houston media is that two heroes of the Texas National Guard played an important role in the rescue of survivors from the sunken ferry.

Soldiers of the 1st Squadron, 124th Cavalry Regiment, Texas National Guard, recently deployed to the Sinai Peninsula as part of a multinational mission to observe the peace between Egypt and Israel. Then the unit commander, Lt. Col. Lee D. Schnell, received a call.

After the Egyptian ferry Al Salam Boccaccio went down in the Red Sea Feb. 4, the Italian navy, which has a unit patrolling that body of water as part of the multinational mission, made an urgent request for medical personnel. In response, Colonel Schnell immediately deployed 1st Lt. John "Doc" Brown, a physician assistant, and Master Sgt. Earl Redrick, a medic, to the area.

"It took us seven or eight hours to get to the scene in a boat that was designed to patrol the coastline, not necessarily open sea," Lieutenant Brown said. "We patrolled for 12 hours, but initially all we found were empty rafts, until we found a lone survivor. He was very weak, but he managed to pull himself onto the boat. We got him out of his wet clothes, listened to his lungs and stabilized him."

Lt. Brown and Master Sgt. Redrick were able to save a total of seven people, most of whom were dehydrated and barely conscious after spending 24 hours fighting for survival in the open water.

At the conclusion of the search and rescue effort, Commander Paolo Spagnoletta of the multinational force and observers shared with Colonel Schnell a letter of gratitude written by one of the survivors rescued by multinational forces ships.

This is a fantastic story of the dedication and valor shown on a daily basis by our Texas Guardsmen and throughout the U.S. military. So often all we hear in the American and international media are stories of bloodthirsty soldiers that relish the killing and torturing of innocents. This is the real picture of the American soldier, whose purpose is simply to do whatever he can to make this world a better and safer place.

Colonel Schnell’s comments sum it up quite nicely:

"Responding to a maritime disaster was certainly something we did not specifically train for, but the professionalism and training of the Army National Guard Soldier allows us to respond to almost anything, anytime and anywhere."

Thanks to LST reader Dan Densford for the tip and the photos.

You would be hard-pressed to find a more vivid demonstration of that fact that lotteries are simply "taxes on stupidity" than that on display this morning in the Houston Chronicle:

The Shop & Save on North Yale might have been the luckiest place in town Thursday, but you couldn’t tell it by all the long faces. One by one, would-be customers in search of cigarettes, sodas and lottery tickets arrived only to be brought up short by this hand-printed sign in the widow: "Sorry we close today."

"We ‘close’ today." Stupid #1

The store’s staff — who sold the winning $64 million ticket in Wednesday’s Lotto Texas — had gone celebrating.

"Oh shucks!" lamented Kenny Lewis, a regular lottery player who gleans his Lotto Texas entries from fortune cookies.

Fortune cookies. Stupid #2

"I came too late," he added.

Because getting there earlier would have made a difference. Stupid #3

"And I had some special numbers."

Some numbers are more "special" than others. Stupid #4

"I normally use the numbers that are printed in blue. This time I was going to use the red."

So the "specialness" of numbers has something to do not with their numeric value, but with the color in which they are printed? Stupid #5

"Whenever the jackpot gets big, I’m compelled to believe that the spiritual laws are running with me."

Mr. Lewis– does not the fact that someone else just won a gigantic jackpot at the very same store you purchase your tickets at give you some sort of indication that the "spiritual laws" are NOT, in fact, running with you?

That’s so stupid I’m counting it twice– Stupid #6 and Stupid #7

This week’s heart-stopping jackpot remained unclaimed as of late Thursday. [snip] "Some of our players are cognizant that they purchased tickets and some aren’t," said lottery spokeswoman Leticia Vasquez.

I think what Ms. Vasquez meant was that some players aren’t cognizant that they purchased a winning ticket.

But I think it’s funnier the way it is, and it reinforces my argument, so I’ll agree– some lottery players are not cognizant that they have purchased a ticket. Stupid #8

To play Lotto Texas, one must choose a series of numbers, 1 to 44, as well as a power ball number. Some contestants, as did this week’s winner, allow a computer to select the numbers. Scratch-off games, which instantly inform the player of his or her success, are more user-friendly.

Lottery officials are looking for ways to simplify the Lotto Texas game in an effort to make it more appealing, Vasquez said.

Step One– Enter the Shop & Rob.
Step Two– Hand the terrified immigrant behind the counter a one dollar bill.
Step Three– Watch as he pushes a button on a computer.
Step Four– Take the little piece of paper he hands you.
Step Five– Leave the store and wait to lose.

This is the complicated process that "officials are looking for ways to simplify" to make "more appealing". Stupid #9

Such matters, though, were far from the minds of would-be customers Thursday who rolled into the parking lot of the Shop & Save at 2626 Yale.

Loy Kim, 25, dejectedly fingered the $15 in lottery tickets he had purchased in hope of being this week’s big winner.

Stupid #10. If you are going to purchase a lottery ticket in pursuit of some gigantic prize (which I’ve done, on occasion), ONLY PURCHASE ONE TICKET. The odds of you winning without buying a ticket at all (i.e., 0%) rocket upwards the moment you at least own one ticket. Like they say, "Ya’ can’t win if ya’ don’t play!"

But once you make it possible for lightning to potentially strike you, every additional dollar you spend is a waste– that is, a bigger waste then the first one you spent. Because whether you spend $1 on a lottery ticket or $15 on multiple tickets, your chances of winning are still astronomically small.

So if you want to enjoy fantasizing, go ahead and buy one ticket, so you at least have an astronomically small chance of winning. Then stop. More tickets do almost nothing to improve your chances, and the dollars spent on them are more valuable to you elsewhere.

Somewhere in LST’s readership there must be an economist who knows the academic term for what I’m describing here.

On this morning, they were just so much worthless paper. "I bought them at the wrong store," he conceded, nodding toward a liquor store two doors down.

NO, NO, NO!!! Can’t you comprehend that was no freakin’ "wrong store"?!?! (Stupid #11) There is no freakin’ "right store"?!?!?! (Stupid #12) It is a lottery…. you have no control over the outcome whatsoever!!!

But, he said, his hope still lives. "I’d pay off the house," he said of his plans, should he win the next big game. "I’d help the family and give some to the poor."

Mr. Kim– you can help the poor right now. Stop buying lottery tickets! The "poor" will have an additional $15 in their pockets. Stupid #13

Earlier in the morning, those gathered at the store said, an apparent store employee had carried a six-pack of beer from the business, posted the closed sign, locked the door and driven away.

We’ll call this one a draw.

In fact, the only bit of common sense on display comes at the end of the article:

As the lottery losers dreamed of winning — or just yearned for a bag of potato chips from the shuttered store — Mohammad Shaikh, who clerks at the Sunset Heights Food Market across the street, struck a blasé pose.

"We don’t sell lottery tickets here," he said. "We used to, but we stopped several years ago. You never make more than a dollar or two off of them. Dealing with the state — it’s just not worth it. We have no regrets."

"Dealing with the state– it’s just not worth it."

Amen my friend, amen.

You are a seventeen year old girl who, using a knife, successfully fight off two men attempting to rape you, killing one in the act. So what do you do next? Go to Disneyland? Nope, try the gallows instead….

Since Songbird and Ree-C appear to be engaged in a battle over who can establish the most authentic open-comments thread, I thought I’d weigh in here.

When deciding which thread to open-comment in, keep in mind that only I have the power to permanently block IP addresses.

UPDATED– Now, with funny pictures!

UPDATED AGAIN– Now, with MORE COWBELL!!!

It’s Friday!

Have a terrific day!

It’s Friday morning, and apparently everyone is still asleep…

Happy Friday!