Gay penguin pride (aka “Brokeback Penguin”) : Lone Star Times

Gay penguin pride (aka “Brokeback Penguin”)

by The Panda Man · 02/11/2006 12:35 pm

You just can’t make this stuff up.

BREMERHAVEN, GERMANY - Shy Swedish female penguins sent to seduce "homosexual" male Humboldt penguins in a German zoo have failed to break up any of the male-male twosomes, officials said Wednesday.

Sadly, these “bird nerds” suffer from a shortage of female penguins at the German zoo, and in their loneliness resort to geology with their male friends.

At Bremerhaven, the birds, which find new mates every year, form all-male pairs and adopt pebbles as if they were eggs.

Part of the problem seems to be gender confusion, which is not limited to the endangered birds themselves.

Penguin family planning is difficult, because zoologists have difficulty telling the difference between a male and a female, and zoo broods often become lop-sided.

Of course all of this gender manipulation by oppressive society has not gone unnoticed in the human world.

Last year, homosexual militants bombarded the zoo on Germany’s North Sea coast with e-mails and protest letters, charging that it was interfering in the penguins’ freedom of sexual orientation.

Fortunately a “sexpert” has been called in to defuse the situation and get the penguins back on the breeding track.

Allll riiiight.

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Comments

12 Responses to “Gay penguin pride (aka “Brokeback Penguin”)”

Songbird on February 11th, 2006 at 12:53 pm

First panda sex, then rhino-cology, and now gay penguins. I see a rather disturbing trend beginning here, Jeremy… ;->

(Brings a whole new meaning to the “Stuffed Penguins” Google Ad in the right-hand column for this post.)
gregg aka"T-Bone" on February 11th, 2006 at 1:17 pm

Q.What did the gay cowboy penguin say to the other gay cowboy penguin?

A.I just cant quit you.
squawkbox on February 11th, 2006 at 2:21 pm

Can you say "Pullet-zer" prize for this story?
Maltboy! on February 11th, 2006 at 4:26 pm

Maybe the little fellers were just homesick for the “South Pole”.
gregg aka"T-Bone" on February 11th, 2006 at 7:53 pm

A vacationing penguin is driving through Arizona when he notices that the oil-pressure light is on. He gets out to look and sees oil dripping out of the motor. He drives to the nearest town and stops at the first gas station. After dropping the car off,the penguin goes for a walk around town.

He sees an ice-cream shop and,being a penguin in
Arizona, decides that something cold would really hit the spot. He gets a big bowl of vanilla ice cream and sits down to eat.Having no hands,he makes real mess trying to eat with his little flippers.

After finishing his ice cream,he goes back to the gas station and asks the mechanic if he’s found the problem. The mechanic looks up and says,”It looks like you´ve blown a seal.”

“No,no” the penguin replies,”it’s just ice cream.”
Matt "Zilla" Bramanti on February 11th, 2006 at 11:26 pm

5: Gregg, I think you’ll enjoy this.
squawkbox on February 11th, 2006 at 11:42 pm

Matt
#6
Was that filmed at the last LST bash?
mishi on February 12th, 2006 at 6:58 pm

Well, not to get overly serious, but…The book “Biological Exuberance” details homosexual behavior - including lifelong partnerships and shared rearing of young - in over 400 species, from birds to bighorn sheep. This occurs in the wild, and has nothing to do with “female shortages” or “loneliness” or even “nerdiness.” Of course, it’s unclear just what penguins have in mind, but it’s pretty clear that humans aren’t the only ones to form same-sex bonds…
neocon on February 12th, 2006 at 9:01 pm

mishi
#8

Really?! I had not heard of that! Who is the auther of this book? I’d like to check it out.
Eric Johnson on February 13th, 2006 at 4:58 am

Maybe the penguins can present the oscar for best supporting lifestyle award to
JeffJ on February 13th, 2006 at 8:55 am

#9 neocon

Bruce Bagemihl.
mecruz on February 13th, 2006 at 12:18 pm

I just hope this doesn’t happen to the platypus!!!!!