This one is bizarre, even by moonbat standards. It seems that some of our counterparts on the left want to take the White House (with the assistance of police and military forces), remove the president, and install a new government. They’ve chosen to do this on the Ides of March.

Yes, I am serious:

Beginning March 15, come when you can and stay as long as you can - we are taking over the White House until they leave.

The Administration is Criminal and if they will not step down, we must storm in, show them how many of us do not accept a criminal government.

The Political Cooperative will put a new, temporary government in place that is comprised of people from Amnesty International, Human Rights Watch and all the organizations that have finally made us aware of the truth of the savage practices and illegal policies of our government in assassinating our own officials as well as people throughout the world who oppose their criminal activity.

As much as I trust the judgment of the Political Cooperative to install my leaders, I’d still rather, you know, HAVE ELECTIONS.

By the way, let’s dig into the LST Law Library and look at U.S. Code, Title 18, Section 2384:

If two or more persons in any State or Territory, or in any place subject to the jurisdiction of the United States, conspire to overthrow, put down, or to destroy by force the Government of the United States, or to levy war against them, or to oppose by force the authority thereof, or by force to prevent, hinder, or delay the execution of any law of the United States, or by force to seize, take, or possess any property of the United States contrary to the authority thereof, they shall each be fined under this title or imprisoned not more than twenty years, or both.

I trust that every Secret Service agent in D.C. will spend the evening of March 14th shining his hippie-stomping boots.

[Hat-tip: Smacktle and his cowbell]

Or, at least I got his little flyer in the mail today.  You’d think that campaigns would have a filter on their mailing lists, so that when someone like me moves out of state and changes their address, they wouldn’t keep sending me stuff out of state.  Oh, hey, Astro moved to Colorado, but I bet he would still like to get this campaign flyer!

What I would really like is for the silly Republicans in Colorado to get their acts together and take back the legislature, but that doesn’t look likely right now.  Just last November, the Democrats succeeded in crippling the "Taxpayers’ Bill of Rights" up here, by allowing the state to keep and spend excess revenues instead of refunding them.  Let this be a lesson: don’t let the Democrats get back control of the state government!  The Republicans might not be perfect, but at least they’re not Democrats.

So, what’s everyone’s opinion of the Governor’s and Lt. Governor’s races?

March 2, 1836, one hundred and seventy years ago today:

When a government has ceased to protect the lives, liberty and property of the people, from whom its legitimate powers are derived, and for the advancement of whose happiness it was instituted, and so far from being a guarantee for the enjoyment of those inestimable and inalienable rights, becomes an instrument in the hands of evil rulers for their oppression.

A few examples of the Texans’ grievances against the government of Mexico:

It has dissolved, by force of arms, the state Congress of Coahuila and Texas, and obliged our representatives to fly for their lives from the seat of government, thus depriving us of the fundamental political right of representation.

It has failed to establish any public system of education, although possessed of almost boundless resources, (the public domain,) and although it is an axiom in political science, that unless a people are educated and enlightened, it is idle to expect the continuance of civil liberty, or the capacity for self government.

It has demanded us to deliver up our arms, which are essential to our defence, the rightful property of freemen, and formidable only to tyrannical governments.

These and other complaints led to the final split.

We, therefore, the delegates with plenary powers of the people of Texas, in solemn convention assembled, appealing to a candid world for the necessities of our condition, do hereby resolve and declare, that our political connection with the Mexican nation has forever ended, and that the people of Texas do now constitute a free, Sovereign, and independent republic, and are fully invested with all the rights and attributes which properly belong to independent nations; and, conscious of the rectitude of our intentions, we fearlessly and confidently commit the issue to the decision of the Supreme arbiter of the destinies of nations.

For more detail on Texas history, take a look at the Handbook of Texas Online.

Please consider this to be YOUR official invitation…

WHAT

LST’S Official Election Night Results Watch Party

WHEN

Tuesday, March 7th, 2006, from 7:00 pm until ?

WHERE

The Steamboat House steakhouse off of the Sam Houston tollway at Gessner

(Near the Sam Houston Race Park, with the gigantic statue of Sam Houston in front of it)

Mapquest

By astonishing coincidence, this also happens to be the date, time and location of the Dan Patrick campaign’s victory party– so those LST readers who wish to shuffle between both events (from one end of the room to the other) will be able to conveniently do so.

Media coverage promises to be heavy…

This sounds like fun:

What started as a swanky art soiree turned into a drunken barf-o-rama after an event’s well-heeled guests went medieval on all-you-can-drink martinis.

Vodka-sloggers got sick, passed out, and threw down junior high-style at Martinifest, a semi-formal event organized by Clear Channel Radio at the Milwaukee Art Museum that offered unlimited martinis for $30, The Milwaukee Journal Sentinel reports.

The boozy buffoonery didn’t stop there — four young men got fresh with a bronze sculpture called “Standing Woman.”

"They were standing on it, grabbing the boobs, and somebody was just taking pictures with a cell phone," said Laura Collins, 35.

And they say Americans have no culture.

Recent years have seen increased countermeasures employed by the Department of the Treasury against paper money counterfeiters. Enlarged off-center portraits, security strips, watermarks, background images, and dyes have all conspired to make American paper money look like something escaped from Ted Turner’s colorization labs.

Previously done on the twenty and fifty dollar bills, the color treatment has now been given to the ten dollar bill, which the government is shipping today. With so many changes being made in recent years, one may wonder what paper money might look like in the not-so-distant future. Perhaps some historical progression will offer a glimpse.

Can someone please explain to me why we need to be spending a single taxpayer dollar on the Office of United States Surgeon General?

It was bad enough when the Clinton appointee to the job assumed I needed a lecture on how to masturbate… now I’ve got Bush’s top doc trying to convince me that Ronald McDonald is the next Osama Bin Laden:

America’s obesity epidemic will dwarf the threat of terrorism if the nation does not reduce the number of people who are severely overweight, the surgeon general said Wednesday.

"Obesity is the terror within," Richard Carmona said during a lecture at the University of South Carolina. "Unless we do something about it, the magnitude of the dilemma will dwarf 9-11 or any other terrorist attempt."

[Hat-tip: Associated Press]

Sir, I know you need to justify your budget… but please, just stop talking.

"Where will our soldiers and sailors and airmen come from?" he said. "Where will our policemen and firemen come from if the youngsters today are on a trajectory that says they will be obese, laden with cardiovascular disease, increased cancers and a host of other diseases when they reach adulthood?"

This is so wrong on so many levels, I hardly know where to begin.

UPDATED– No, I’m still not convinced.

Intriguing:

If Domino’s Pizza founder Thomas S. Monaghan has his way, a new town being built in Florida will be governed according to strict Roman Catholic principles, with no place to get an abortion, pornography or birth control.

[Hat-tip: Associated Press]

Nearly 2,000 years of sometimes "tense" Catholic-Jewish relations cry out to me to walk away from this one and save the good-natured ribbing to faithful yet well-humored Catholics such as Bramanti and Courreges… but I can’t stop myself from offering just this one:

In response to a recent outbreak of foul-mouthed hooliganism, Police Chief Sister Mary "The Penguin" O’Donahue promised to quickly restore law and order…

Jokes aside, I think this is a great idea.

The pizza magnate is bankrolling the project with at least $250 million and calls it "God’s will."

Civil libertarians say the plan is unconstitutional and are threatening to sue.

The town of Ave Maria is being constructed around Ave Maria University, the first Catholic university to be built in the United States in about 40 years. Both are set to open next year about 25 miles east of Naples in southwestern Florida.

The town and the university, developed in partnership with the Barron Collier Co., an agricultural and real estate business, will be set on 5,000 acres with a European-inspired town center, a massive church and what planners call the largest crucifix in the nation, at nearly 65 feet tall. Monaghan envisions 11,000 homes and 20,000 residents.

11,000 homes and only 20,000 residents? What happened to the "no birth control" clause?

During a speech last year at a Catholic men’s gathering in Boston, Monaghan said that in his community, stores will not sell pornographic magazines, pharmacies will not carry condoms or birth control pills, and cable television will have no X-rated channels.

Homebuyers in Ave Maria will own their property outright. But Monaghan and Barron Collier will control all commercial real estate in the town, meaning they could insert provisions in leases to restrict the sale of certain items.

Naturally, the professional "civil libertarians" out there are having a fit:

"If they attempt to do what he apparently wants to do, the people of Naples and Collier County, Florida, are in for a whole series of legal and constitutional problems and a lot of litigation indefinitely into the future," warned Howard Simon, executive director of the American Civil Liberties Union of Florida.

[snip]

Frances Kissling, president of the liberal Washington-based Catholics for a Free Choice, likened Monaghan’s concept to Islamic fundamentalism.

"This is un-American," Kissling said. "I don’t think in a democratic society you can have a legally organized township that will seek to have any kind of public service whatsoever and try to restrict the constitutional rights of citizens."

Hey dumbass, it’s called Freedom of Association.

No one is being forced to live in this town, according to its ground rules. Just how exactly are "citizens" having their "constitutional rights" "restricted" if they voluntarily choose to live in this community?

And for that matter, if left-wing feminists want to incorporate "Andrea Dworkinville" in rural Ohio and outlaw armpit shaving, heterosexual intercourse and a sense of humor, I say more power to thym.

Live and Let Live, baby.

The Jerusalem Post’s Evelyn Gordon states precisely why a policy of "targeted assassination" of terrorists makes operational sense:

Targeted killings are indeed unlikely to end terrorism, since new terrorists can usually be found to replace those who are killed. But by disrupting terrorist networks they can significantly reduce the number of successful attacks.

First, whenever a senior terrorist is killed, the network must find a replacement and reorganize itself accordingly. That takes time, during which its normal operations are suspended.

Second, if senior terrorists know that Israel is hunting them, they are forced to devote more time and effort to protecting themselves, which reduces the amount of time and effort they are able to devote to organizing terror attacks.

And third, when senior terrorists are afraid to operate openly, the chain of command of necessity becomes longer and more convoluted, thereby providing more opportunities for Israeli intelligence to penetrate the network and learn about planned attacks.

Plus, it has the added benefit of making me feel better. You too, I suspect.

The following are the views and opinions of myself, and may or may not be the opinions of Lone Star Times, David Benzion, or any of the staff or advertisers at Lone Star Times. Contents sold by weight, not volume, some settling may occur. Your milage may vary. yada yada…. You’ve been warned!

Everyone has heard about the Bonusgate scandal. What everyone has NOT heard about is the conflict of interest caused by the Office of Inspector General, which is answerable to the Mayor, investigating embezzlement and abuse of public office, and abject incompetence of Carol Alvarado whom the Mayor has annointed as his "go to gal" on City Council. The Mayor would like nothing moe than this to go away because it makes him and his administration look like total ASSES. (Nevermind that I already thought they were.) The OIG has yet to forward ANYTHING to the County DA Chuck Rosenthal, who I would like to point out is NOT answerable to the Mayor. It is my feeling that the OIG "investigation" is on a search and destroy mission for any and all documents that would tie Alvarado and indirectly, His Nibbs to this debacle. I suspect, but cannot prove, that the giant industrial sized shredders, last used by Aurthur Anderson and Enron are coming out of mothballs and will soon be generating confetti by the truck load. It is high time that the OIG stepped aside and allowed either the DA, or the FBI to enter the investigation. Until that happens I have ZERO confidence in the investigation. Mr Mayor, I am waiting. I suspect the rest of the city is as well.

Many of you might be familiar with the joke about President Bush being out on a boat with the Pope– the Pope falls overboard, starts to drown, Bush literally walks across the water to rescue him, and the next morning’s newspaper headline is "Bush can’t swim".

Today’s Houston Chronicle carries this one:

HEADLINE

In videos, Bush, Chertoff appear calm before storm

How much you want to bet if Bush and Chertoff had appeared anything BUT "calm", the headline would read…

HEADLINE

In videos, Bush, Chertoff appear flustered before storm

Or would it have been better if the headline would have accurately read…

HEADLINE

In videos, Bush, Chertof appear panicked before storm

Besides– I thought the ability to be calm in a crisis was a good thing?

Courtesy an American Humane Society press release:

In a letter today to "Brokeback Mountain" director Ang Lee, the American Humane Association — the authority behind the "No Animals Were Harmed" End Credit Disclaimer on film and television productions — expressed dismay over reports that animal care and protection guidelines were violated during the Oscar-nominated movie’s filming in Canada.

Citing numerous public inquiries to American Humane’s Film & Television Unit, President and CEO Marie Belew Wheatley said, "The excessively rough handling of the sheep and horses leaves viewers questioning whether anyone was looking out for the safety of those animals…"

[Immature emphasis added by LST]

Good morning.

Despite his protests to the contrary, what Abdul most needed from American troops was a great big hug and a darn good cry.