Kiss me, I’m Jewrish : Lone Star Times

Kiss me, I’m Jewrish

by David Benzion · 03/12/2006 1:52 pm

I’ve received a last minute invitation to ride on the Texas Tea Party / Dan Patrick float in the St. Patrick’s Day parade along FM 1960… if you are in the crowd, be sure to shout "MORE COWBELL" and I’ll throw you some beads. Jeez, the guy gets 69% and they’re already calling him a "Saint" up here…

UPDATED– General impressions…

The Saint Patrick’s Day Spirit was well in evidence among Wolfies’ professional, well-groomed staff.
Best Moment: The African-American woman who upon spotting Dan’s sign, proceeded to give our entire float "The Evil Eye"– an act that involved twisting one hand into a claw, aggressively squinting, and emitting a loud, guttural "hissing" sound. Abso-freaking-lutely priceless.
I challenge any of you to look at a fat little girl with her arms outstretched, jumping up and down, and not throw her some beads.
Riding in a parade is fun… for 45 minutes.
Judging from the number of people screaming "Dude, I voted for you! Throw me some beads, Man!", I’d guess that nearly half of Dan’s Republican primary vote consisted of drunk day laborers of questionable legality, in additon to thousands of Katrina evacuees who have settled in Champions Forest.

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Comments

11 Responses to “Kiss me, I’m Jewrish”

Rahman on March 12th, 2006 at 1:59 pm

Dan Patrick’s overwhelming victory was no accident. My participation had something to do with it.
On a serious note let’s hope Dan will represent us big time in future on Capitol Hill.
GoodJobTim on March 12th, 2006 at 2:13 pm

Beads! That is so Mardi Gra. Guiness Beer, thats what we want, Guiness Beer!!
pmartin on March 12th, 2006 at 2:40 pm

David,

Just noticed the “Jewrish!” Ha! I’m supposed to be on that float (I’m a member of Texas Tea Party), but I don’t know if I will be able to get off work. Maybe we can get Smacktle’s cow bell to you.
JJMTZ on March 12th, 2006 at 4:23 pm

Sorry Dave, I’m not from Brokeback, I won’t kiss you, but maybe someone will, don’t let your wife read this, you’ll be out.
Dov on March 12th, 2006 at 8:44 pm

Might I ask please ? What is Jewrish ?
David Benzion on March 12th, 2006 at 9:13 pm

#5 Dov

“What is ‘Jewrish’?”

Sounds like a set-up to one of the most politically incorrect ad-campaigns of all time.

OK, I’ll start–

What is Jewrish?

Green Manishevitz.
pmartin on March 12th, 2006 at 10:18 pm

Man, I thought it was next week! Should have read my email better! Sheesh!
Matt "Zilla" Bramanti on March 13th, 2006 at 12:02 am

Ooh, can I play?

What is Jewrish?

This guy.
Fratty McFrattster on March 13th, 2006 at 10:26 am

Was their Hebrew National hotdogs for everyone?

Seriously… I am not Jewrish, but I love Hebrew National hotdogs… our gentile ball park franks got nothing on those great hotdogs.
Boxie0406 on March 13th, 2006 at 12:11 pm

“Green Manischewitz” TOO FUNNY!!!!!!

Hebrew Nationals are good….so are Nathan’s….and you HAVE to have Jewish mustard to put on them. Best Hot Dogs in Houston are at Katz’s.

My sweet neighbor makes the BEST Jewish Penicillin (Chicken Soup) in the world. She also makes me Latkes. I make her bacon gravy….she isn’t exactly Kosher all the time But she is the one who turned us onto Mani. She serves it at Passover…and serves it…and serves it…:)

Looking forward to Corned Beef and Cabbage on the 17th!! Hard to find it these days..but Luby’s had it last year. I guess I COULD make it at home..Naaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa. What I need is an Irish neighbor on the other side that would make it for me.
Jean on March 13th, 2006 at 5:22 pm

David you are a classic!