You got change for a billion? : Lone Star Times

You got change for a billion?

by The Panda Man · 03/15/2006 5:33 pm

Federal authorities made an unusual find during a money smuggling investigation.

LOS ANGELES — Federal authorities investigating a man who smuggled money into the country have seized 250 counterfeit bank notes in billion-dollar denominations, they announced Tuesday.

Surprisingly enough there is no such thing as a billion-dollar bill.

The 250 bogus Federal Reserve notes had 1934 issue dates and were stained to make them look old, but no such currency exists, said U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement spokeswoman Virginia Kice.

"A billion is a substantial number. We want to ensure that no one was duped or fleeced by the passing of these documents," Kice said.

Presumably one would have difficulty passing such a note at the local convenience store.

“Can I get change?”
“Only if you buy something.”
“Uh, ok, gimme the latest issue of Counterfeiters Quarterly, a bag of pork rinds, and some beef jerky. Can you break a billion?”
“Sir, you defile my store with your false currency. Get out at once. If you find the real thing, please come again.”

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Comments

9 Responses to “You got change for a billion?”

nztexas on March 15th, 2006 at 6:05 pm

Stupid is as stupid does my momma always said.
Doch4 on March 15th, 2006 at 6:16 pm

Well it takes all kinds ! Who said that crime pays, DAhhhhh not in this case !!!!
kidwittehtape on March 15th, 2006 at 8:26 pm

what an idiot, i heard of one guy who did that but used 200’s with Dubya on them and got away with it and was never cought
gregg aka"T-Bone" on March 15th, 2006 at 8:27 pm

That’s like the guy at Texas A&M who was making counterfeit nickels.
neocon on March 15th, 2006 at 9:00 pm

D’oh! Billion Dollar bills? This guy must be on some major drugs!
kidwittehtape on March 15th, 2006 at 9:17 pm

So, since it is not a real bill, it not counterfit, so as long as he did not attempt to spend them then he just was just making “art”
jacampbell on March 16th, 2006 at 9:08 am

Empty any accounts he has in the USA. And give him a one way ticket whereever he smuggled the money from.
Anyone who would cash in a $200 dollar bill or a billion should be jailed for ignorance and being a public nuisance.
bweldon on March 16th, 2006 at 9:33 am

#4
Leave it to an aggie to counterfeit nickels,

#6
Actually no, if it has the treasury seal, or any other federal marker on it, then it is attemted forgery/counterfeiting. The Secret Service takes that very seriously.
fasternu426 on March 16th, 2006 at 12:02 pm

I want a Go-zillion dollar bill!!