Carol Alvarado can MAKE YOU RICH!!!
by David Benzion · 03/24/2006 7:00 amWe’re glad to hear that temporarily-non Mayor Pro Tem Carol Alvarado ["You hear me bitch? I said TEMPORARILY!!!"] isn’t letting a little ole thing like the Bonusgate Kerfuffle, or a subsequent criminal investigation, get her down.
In fact, she appears to be busier then ever serving her constituents, as the following hand-out promoting her hostess duties this weekend at a "Town Hall Meeting on Financial Literacy" makes clear:
Given her promises of increased personal oversight of her office’s future operations however, we’d like to suggest Ms. Alvarado might want to start by paying a little more attention to the clip art used to publicize her appearances:
C’mon, Householder, get you head in the game! 
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Priceless.. or pricey… oh well.
That graphic is too funny!! A good prosecutor should leave that on an easel blown up a go-zillion times in front of the jury during her trial!!!
She needs to get a real job, like selling Mary Kay.
The clip art folks should be boycotted as this rich person appears Anglo. They couldn’t find any clip art with say a “Mama Ninfa” and/or a “Majic Johnson or Michael Jordan” depiction?
The East End Polecat might just teach us how to snooker the Taxpayers, or, how to get that inside information on where the next boondoggle will be built so we can all get rich buying speculative property, keeping it under assessed, and getting Tax abatements, create our own TIRZ, and float Tax Exempt Bonds that will be paid off with sales tax money.
Only in America!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I thought her employees were issued checks for the bonuses, not gigantic sacks of cash.
Hey! What a hoot. Here we have someone who dodged taking her mandatory ENGLISH literacy exam at UH, and now is teaching “Financial” literacy, ala “Bureaucratese.”
#3 Royko
You forgot the Ag-exemption, as well. Maybe we should call Jon Lindsay to fill us in on that particular politicians’ perk, as well as creative road-building for politicians.
Ms. Alvarado’s public relations firm isn’t doing there job. But since they don’t have much to work with, their job is more difficult. I guess it is a good thing she hired some high priced attorney, she knows what’s coming. This only gives him a head start in preparing her defense. Let’s see what are her options, first play the “race” card. Call Johnny Mata and LULAC for help. Oh!! Wait a minute I think Ben Reyes tried it and he still ended up in jail. Well, then play the “psycho” card maybe she can check herself in some nut ward for observation. And if that doesn’t work, play the “abused” card and claim she was abused by someone during her childhood. After that she’s on her on. Unless somebody else knows of a defense that she can imploy here.
This whole thing is such a freakin joke it’s rediculous. The administrations supposedly leading Houston over the last few years have mislead the voters so much that it’s like a mob business without the killings. The average democrat voter that keeps voting these crooks into office either so naive, loony tunes or crooked that it makes an educated, level headed conservative want to go scream, or move away. I like Houston and don’t intend to move away. There really needs to be an electable business person running for mayor next time that’s not another liberal.
Glad to see that you are still on the Carol Alvacado story - thought that yu had forgotten all about it or had caved to pressures from City Hall.
# 7 :
She was drunk and on drugs at the time.
That defense seems to work sometimes.
James O,
#10
Remember her statement at the time police recovered the charred remains of Ross Allyn. He was supposed to stop by to see her after attending the fund raiser for Annise Parker.
Later, press coverage of Ross’s lifestyle touched on his drug use and Hedonistic proclivities.
Now how did that old saying go? “Birds of a feather…
Upon further review, I decided to help Ms. Alvarado out of her predicament by providing the balance of excuses she could turn to. So here is the remainder of my “Top Ten” list of excuses:
1) Race: Discrimination against a Hispanic female.
2) Psycho: Suffers from a mental problem.
3) Abused: Being abused as a child.
4) Illiteracy: Didn’t know what she was signing.
5) Split personality: The “bad” Carol did it.
6) Equality: Correct previous discrimination to minorities in salaries.
7) S.O.P.: Standard Operating Procedures for that office.
9) Mrs. Bill Clinton’s theory: Ultra right wing conspiracy.
10) Ignorance: Seek the mercy of the court.
There now why did she need that high price attorney anyway!!!!!
11) Too many twinkies
Why stop there?
Have:
Lee P. Brown teach management seminars.
Tom Delay teach fund raising seminars.
Bill White teach refugee relocation training.
George W. Bush teach english and debating skills.
John Kerry teach “how to marry a millionaire” seminar.
Dick Cheney teach hunter safety.
Bush twins teach a bar tending course.
Ya’ can’t leave poor Dick alone. Darn, he racked up points on my ledger for peppering an attorney.
W h a t ?????????
She is still around?
When she hired pricey attorney I knew right away she has something to hide, now it is evident.
I have decided not to call her Sexy anymore!