Yesterday, I brought to your attention the Nutty Professor at UT who wished for the deaths of billions of humans. Today, the Chronicle runs a story about the very same guy. But UT still won’t do anything about it, claiming the Nutty Professor is merely exercising his First Amendment rights. This would be true, except that in doing so, he is gleefully plotting the murder of billions with a weapon of mass destruction. I’m certain that if he were ever able to obtain the disease of which he speaks, he would gleefully use it and kill as many as he could. Why hasn’t DHS knocked on this man’s door yet?

CBS News really has its finger on the pulse of the nation. In a move to boost its flagging evening news broadcast, the Black Eye network is making big changes. Forget minor things like journalistic integrity, fairness or devotion to the truth. What people really want is a ditzy smile:

NBC executives expect Katie Couric to leave the "Today" show and accept an offer from CBS to become the first woman to anchor a network evening newscast on her own, with an announcement of her departure likely as early as this week, according to well-placed sources at both networks and others familiar with the negotiations.

"A lot of her considerable talents don’t translate to the evening news because they can’t, by definition," said Erik Sorenson, a former MSNBC president who once produced the "CBS Evening News." "You cannot sing a cabaret number on the evening news. They won’t have her ski. They won’t have her dance.

What confidence. The New and Improved CBS News! Now with no dancing!

Imagine my excitement when I read this headline on Drudge:

McKinney and House Democratic Leader Nancy Pelosi no longer speak…

Sadly, it turns out they’re not speaking only to each other.

Oh well.

This is just ludicrous. Apparently the honorable long-faced senator from Massachusetts feels he has finally found his new political base: the "undocumented immigrant" population that has been so visible in the American media over the past two weeks. And he is so giddy about this new discovery that he has begun broadcasting his liberal lies in Spanish to his newfound friends.

"The Senate Judiciary Committee approved a bi-partisan immigration bill that: 1) provides a path toward citizenship for undocumented immigrants, 2) re-unites families, and 3) strengthens border security.

Interestingly, there seems to be no mention of illegal immigrants anywhere in this discourse.

"We stood up to the Republicans who saw immigration reform as a chance to punish immigrants. We eliminated provisions that would criminalize immigrants and anyone who would help them. This was an important step, given the fact that the House Republican approved bill passed in December would allow the prosecution of clergy, hospital workers, charities or anyone else who would help thy neighbor. Cardinal Mahoney from California was right to take a stand against this punitive measure, and we Democrats were able to defeat it.

Ooh, nice little tug on the Catholic strings there, Mr. Kerry!

"Democrats were able to achieve all of this, despite attempts by Senate Republican Majority Leader Frist to cater to the narrowest interests in his party and impose a wrongheaded enforcement only bill."

As one commenter pointed out: "Anyone pick up on the hypocrisy here? Bush broke the law, all be it [sic] for a noble cause, so censure him. Mexican immigrants broke the law, all be it [just as sic] for a noble cause, so reward them."

You can see the full transcript of Kerry’s blurb (in English) or hear the original radio spot (in Spanish) here.

[Cross-posted from The Texas Songbird]

I got a chuckle out of this AP story:

TiVo accuses EchoStar Communications Corp., the parent of Dish Network, the nation’s second-largest satellite TV operator, of stealing TiVo technology to produce its own box for recording, pausing and fast-forwarding live television.

This probably goes without saying, but a box that can fast forward live TV would be pretty interesting, because it would be a freakin’ time machine. The guy repeated the goof later in the story:

TiVo was the first company to market a DVR, but others including EchoStar followed with their own devices that offered the same "trick plays" — the ability to pause, slow-motion, rewind and fast-forward live programs — at lower prices.

Ooh, a budget time machine. Just think of the possibilities! We could discuss next year’s State of the Union address today! We could watch the next 50 Super Bowls! Or we could zip ahead to the future and see whether reporters will evolve.

Mayor Bill White, decisive man of action:

Although Mayor Bill White said Monday that he finds Houston’s recent increase in bloodshed unacceptable, he maintains most of the city is safe and is offering no new initiatives to curb the city’s homicide rate.

White said the city needs more police officers on the streets, but he wasn’t confident that doubling the number of academy classes next year to train up to 1,500 officers by 2008 would be effective.

I guaran-damn-tee that ending the shortage of patrol officers will be effective. It’ll certainly be more effective than twiddling your thumbs while the murder rate goes to Pluto.

Lead editorial, today’s Wall Street Journal:   

HEADLINE: Texas-Sized Tax Revolt

If Republican politicos are wondering how they can crawl back into the good graces of the electorate, they might want to study the primary results from last month deep in the heart of Texas.

In one high-profile GOP primary for a state senate seat in Houston, radio personality Dan Patrick sent shock waves through the political establishment by promising serious property tax relief. He won a 69% rout over three elected officials seeking higher office. Also on the primary ballot was an initiative asking voters whether they support a directive to all GOP officeholders to push a spending and tax limitation measure. It won with 89.9% of the Republican vote.

[Subscription required for full-text]

HOLY CRAP!

Some Austin City Council members want the authority from the Texas Legislature to slow the annual increases in the taxable value of homes.

The proposal being floated by Council Members Brewster McCracken, Lee Leffingwell and Betty Dunkerley would allow local governments to lower the property appraisal cap from 10 percent per year to as low as 5 percent. [snip]

Any anticipated relief would not come in time to blunt the effects of an aggressive reappraisal by the Travis Central Appraisal District this year in response to a state comptroller’s study that found taxable values were badly trailing sales prices.

Austin cannot reduce the cap without the assent of the Legislature and approval from Texas voters. The council members plan to call for the change in state law at Thursday’s council meeting.

Sen. Kyle Janek, R-Houston, sponsored a bill last year that would have allowed local governments to opt for a lower appraisal cap, but it did not get a floor vote. He would like to introduce a similar proposal during the upcoming special session on tax reform and school funding if it fits into the agenda set by Gov. Rick Perry.

If a local option appraisal cap does get addressed, Janek said it helps to have support from a variety of communities — including Democratic bastions such as Austin — to win more votes. The measure should have momentum in the Republican-controlled Legislature because local control is a central tenet of conservative politics, he said.

"On this issue, Austin may lead the way on conservatism," Janek said.

[Courtesy Austin American-Statesman; hat-tip LST reader "megablowfish"]

AUSTIN.

Who knew those crazy, hotheaded talkshow hosts down in Houston on KSEV were so powerful that even Austin city councilmembers could be intimidated into pandering to know-nothing voters on property tax relief, rather than following the honorable and prudent Texas Municipal League position?

Because "The Hammer" may be leaving, but the need to squash liberal, Big Government roaches remains…

Candidate Gribble’s bio

Campaign Soundbite

——————–

OK– seriously, we’re having a little fun with this here (and with our poll question), but I’d like to dedicate this thread to having all of you discuss who you think will / would like to see as the Republican candidate to take on Nick Lampson for the District 22 seat come November.

Elsewhere in the blogosphere, both the Texas Safety Forum and Tom DeLay v. the World promise to be invaluable resources– check’em out frequently.

Theoretically credible names we’ve seen thrown out so far:

1. Sugar Land Mayor David Wallace
2. Harris County Judge Robert Eckels
3. State Rep. Robert Talton
4. Houston City Councilwoman Shelley Sekula-Gibbs
5. Former State District Judge John Devine
6. Ben Streusand
7. State Rep. Charlie Howard
8. Fort Bend County Commissioner Andy Meyers
9. State Sen. Kyle Janek
10. GOP Primary second place finisher Tom Campbell
11. Steve Stockman

Let the bloodbath begin…

Transcript of taped message released by DeLay to all media outlets:

Address to the 22nd District of Texas

Congressman Tom DeLay

April 4, 2006

For the past 21 years as your Congressman, it has been an incredible honor to represent the citizens of the 22nd District of this great state of Texas.

What a pair of decades we have lived together.

When I started in politics, I was inspired by the optimism and conservative principles embodied by one of our greatest presidents, Ronald Reagan.  

Since I first asked for your votes for Congress back in 1984, America has moved closer to, not further from, the “shining city on a hill” that he so magnificently described.

She has risen from malaise, won a cold war and a few hot ones, and liberated hundreds of millions across Europe and tens of millions of Afghans and Iraqis.

At home, we moved from policies that had long empowered government to finally empowering citizens, taxpayers and communities…initiating sweeping and positive change across all facets of American society.

While in Washington in that first decade of service, I was also privileged to be part of another triumph…finally providing Americans with a strong, competitive two party system at the national level.

Our efforts culminated in the transformational election of 1994 in which voters elected Republican majorities in both Houses of the United States Congress.

I was then honored by my Republican colleagues to be selected as one the top four House leaders as Majority Whip and later Majority Leader. 

Together, we put policies in place to renew America’s security, prosperity, and families.

We adopted year after year of tax relief, which led to growth so strong it has not only propelled our economy, but has spurred economic growth across the globe.

We reformed welfare, moving tens of millions of good Americans from poverty to work and opportunity.

We passed litigation reform, to begin freeing our economy from the shackles of frivolous lawsuits.

And, we approved reforms in energy, telecommunications, transportation and other areas as well, all of which had been bogged down and blocked by those who ran Congress for the 40 years before our election.

Today, the war on terror — one-sided for years as we suffered attack after attack from the World Trade Center to the USS Cole — has been joined and is being won around the world.

Unemployment hovers near historic lows.  Home ownership at all time highs.

Partial-birth abortion has been banned.  Unborn victims of violence are now protected in law.

And the new Supreme Court is home to two of the finest young jurists of their generation.

Here in the district, we have worked hard on and accomplished dozens of major priorities, including creating tens of thousands of new jobs, providing the region with the vision and resources to achieve world class mobility, revitalizing our space program with new vision and priorities.

And we’ve done it all on the enduring strength of our principles and our ideas.

As I reflect on these past two decades of public service, I have enjoyed every minute of it. 

I have been proud and privileged both to serve the Texans of the 22nd district in the great institution of the people’s House; and also to serve with some of the most incredible, dedicated, energetic, and thoughtful people in Congress, and in the leadership teams of both the House and Senate.  

It has also been an honor to work closely with one of Texas’ favorite sons, a president with great moral integrity and leadership, George W. Bush.  His Administration has done much to restore the type of principled leadership that President Reagan demonstrated and that first drew me to seek service in our Nation’s capitol.

In the same vein, I also have been proud to make whatever contribution I could to the conservative movement to which I feel so strongly connected and the enduring national conservative majority that has been transforming our nation for the past decade.

For the opportunity to participate in all of these endeavors, I remain deeply thankful to the voters and constituents of the 22nd District for their faith and their votes.

Now, however, after many weeks of personal prayerful thinking and analysis, I have come to the conclusion that it is time to close this public service chapter of my life. 

It’s time to begin opening new chapters and pursuing new opportunities to engage in the important cultural and political battles of our day from outside the arena of the U.S. House of Representatives.

Because I care so deeply about this district and the people in it, I refuse to allow liberal Democrats an opportunity to steal this seat with a negative, personal campaign.

The voters of the 22nd District of Texas deserve a campaign about the vital national issues that they care most about and that affect their lives every day, and not a campaign focused solely as a referendum on me.

So today, I am announcing my intention to resign my seat in the House.  I will make that resignation effective sometime before mid-June, but largely dependent on the congressional calendar.  I plan to begin focusing on the next phase of my life as a private citizen.

Between now and the date that I leave the House, however, I will continue to focus on and tend to several important legislative priorities for the 22nd District.

Also during this period, I will determine the new ways from various arenas outside of public office that will allow me to continue to contribute to and engage in the policy, political, and cultural issues of national importance to the conservative majority. 

With that plan in mind, I also intend to relocate to my Virginia property and reside closer to Washington, so that I can dedicate the necessary time and energy to making a successful transition from the public to private sectors for myself and family.

With the news of my decision, there of course will be great speculation among the political pundits and media about my reasons both for this decision and its timing.  I am quite certain most will put forward their opinions and conclusions devoid of, and unencumbered by accuracy, facts, and truth, so I thought I might try to make everyone’s job a little easier.

The people of the 22nd district have been extremely loyal and true to me, and throughout my service to them, I have always done the same.  I have always acted solely on my beliefs and convictions, nothing more.

I have no fear whatsoever about any investigation into me or my personal or professional activities. 

As one of my colleagues in the House leadership astutely observed a while back, the wheels of justice turn much more slowly than the wheels of allegation.

I will be quite content to be judged when the passage of time has provided both all of the facts and a greater sense of perspective than is possible for most today.

As difficult as this decision has been for me, it’s not going to be a great day for liberal Democrats, either.

My loyalty to the Republican Party — indeed, my love for the Republican Party — has played no small part in this decision.

Having served under Republican and Democrat control in the House, I know first hand how important it is for Republicans to maintain their national majority. A Democrat Congress in 2007 would, without doubt or remorse, raise hundreds of billions of dollars in taxes, summarily cut and run from the war on terror, and immediately initiate an unconstitutional impeachment of President Bush.

However certain such antics might make a Republican resurgence in 2008, the times are too grave to waste even two years in the life of this nation…and allow even one more vote for their agenda of pessimism and failure.

Equally precious to me are the remaining years of my own life, and I look forward with both joy and curiosity to the future God holds for me.

I know for certain that I plan to devote a good deal more of my time and energy to fully completing Rio Bend, the foster care community built by the DeLay Foundation for Kids and opened in 2005.

The community is partially completed and currently providing permanent, loving, stable families to 27 formerly abused and neglected children.

I believe the model we have established here for these children in Fort Bend County can be duplicated elsewhere, and I look forward to working through the Foundation to make that a reality for foster kids around the country.

Eleven years into the Republican Congressional majority and six years into the Bush Administration, our nation has much to show for our leadership.

But as proud as I am of our record over that time, I am fully aware that record is incomplete.

We still need to redesign government.

We still need to chuck our current, broken systems of taxation, regulation, and litigation, which hamstring our economy and health care systems — and replace them with pro-growth, pro-innovation, pro-individual alternatives.

We need to ensure the basic human rights and dignity of the unborn and unwanted are  protected under the law, and that judges adhere to their important but limited role in our constitutional framework.

I look forward to traveling the country and listening to conservatives, helping grassroots leaders to develop a unifying agenda and a strategy to enact it, to learn from past setbacks and build on our successes.

Finally, no success in my career could ever match the one truly great success of my life — my marriage.

In the summer before our junior year in high school, I was asked to look after a girl named Christine, and I have ever since, for more than 42 years now.  She has done an even greater share of looking after me.

She is the reason I have ever accomplished anything in politics or in life, and the reason I am so looking forward to this next phase in our life.

Thank you Christine.

There are many others to thank as well….a word of heartfelt thanks to my base of many loyal supporters who have stood beside me for more than 20 years and sent me 11 times to represent them in Washington. 

In addition, to all of the local elected officials in the 22nd District, and in the greater Houston area, you have been tremendous partners in getting things done for our shared constituents and for the good of those communities.  Thank you as well for your support and loyalty.

I also have had incredible support in so many ways – financial, emotional, simple words of encouragement or thoughtful prayers – from so many people all over Texas and all over the country.  My sincerest thanks goes to all of them as well.

Finally to the people I work closest with on a daily basis in Washington, the great team of Republicans from all over this country that makes up the House Republican Conference.  I am so proud to have been a part of that successful team, and to have so many great memories from hard-fought victories and the personal relationships, friendships and bonds that many of us have shared.  Those are some of my greatest treasures.

Today is obviously not an easy one for me, but difficult days always demand the most from us, and, in that sense, are the ones most worth living.

I have no regrets today, and no doubts.

I am proud of the past.  I am at peace with the present. 

And I am excited about the future, which holds, as always, America’s brightest days… and mine, too.\

Thank you, and may God bless you all.  He has certainly blessed me.

No, I don’t think so…

Click here for text ad rates and information.

Christians United for Israel– Learn more from Pastor John Hagee about this unique opportunity for you to stand with the Jewish People and invoke God’s blessings on America; | 210-477-4714 | website |

Happy Birthday "Monica D"!!! Betcha didn’t expect to see this here! :)  We are blessed to have you in our lives as wife, mother, and caring owner. All our love– Dean, Matthew, Jack and Cotton.

Dawn Wolf Design– LST’s full-service graphic designer of choice. Talented, professional, competitively priced; a generous LST volunteer, we could not recommend her more highly. | 713-781-8900 | website |

Adams Insurance– Over 50 years serving Houston business’ and families. Offering commercial, bonds, benefits, personal, risk management and life insurance services. | 713-869-8346 | website |

TaxProtest.Net– Are you paying too much property tax? Professionals can prepare and file your protest for free; pay only a percentage if they save you money! | 281-466-1599 | website |

Ability Tree Experts– Houston’s Leading Tree Surgeons. Recommended by Dan Patrick and Edd Hendee; protect or heal your valuable trees from insects and diseases. | 281-441-4179 | website | 

The Arbor Gate– Take an ordinary journey to an extraordinary place. Northwest Houston’s premier garden destination, showcasing the best in perennials, herbs, roses and native plants. | 281-351-8851| website

Amazing Siding & Windows– Never paint your house again! Offering James Hardie Siding and Vinyl Replacement Windows; free estimates, unmatched warranties. | 281-583-7000 | website |

Hy-Tech Foundation Repair– Free estimates, lifetime transferable warranty. Residential and commercial; pier, beam and concrete slab styles; serving the greater Houston area. | 713-686-1733 | website |

Baker Mortgage– Serving Houstonians for three generations. New mortgage, refinance or equity loans; selling a note, contract deed, or land contract; professional appraisals. | 713-661-6683 | website |

Royal Oaks Bank– Experience the Royal Treatment. Personal attention for individuals and corporations, with Champions, Post Oak, Westheimer and West U. branches. | phone | website

Click here for text ad rates and information.