Get the Pulitzer board on the phone. They have to see this story:

An unidentified man was critically injured today when another man pulled out a loaded handgun on a Metro bus and shot him in the head in southeast Houston, authorities said.

Thanks for clearing up whether the gun was loaded, Chron.

The worst part about being shot in the head with a loaded handgun? It hurts a LOT more than being shot in the head with an unloaded handgun.

A while back I reported that the Texas Alcoholic Beverage Commission has been cracking down on, well, alcoholic beverage consumption. I wasn’t the only one who didn’t like that.

After an outcry from tourism officials, state lawmakers and the public over a crackdown on public drunkenness in bars, the Texas Alcoholic Beverage Commission is conducting an internal investigation and retraining officers in the program.

Undercover officers will still be ticketing or arresting bar patrons who are deemed exceedingly drunk, but officials are taking the complaints seriously, commission spokeswoman Carolyn Beck said today.

I’m here to help. Here’s how to tell that your fellow bar patron might be an undercover TABC agent:

• He has a vaguely gun-shaped bulge in his dark blue TABC windbreaker
• He’s driving a white Crown Victoria with official plates and key marks on the doors
• He’s drinking something like milk, Sprite or Zima
• He’s the only one there not having a good time
• He starts cheering when a Cops re-run shows up on the TV
• He totally flips out and starts arresting everybody

If you see someone matching this description, remember his training:

Beck has said officers are looking for a collection of behaviors, including stumbling, an inability to stand or being inappropriately loud.

Sit down and order another Scotch. Quietly.

My favorite Fox News contributor — the lovely and talented Anne Linehan — points out the city’s newest way of pissing away my hard-earned money:

City Council has approved a $15 million contract for 1,500 world-class parking meters. The company awarded the contract? ACS. We last heard of ACS as a red light camera contender, and in January, Metro chose ACS to come up with a new "smart card" fare system.

Read the links. Then Anne asks:

Does that mean the city’s $15 million investment will be reimbursed with parking meter profits? Houstonians can only hope it really will be a system that pays for itself.

Good question. Will they pay for themselves? Who knows. Maybe. We’ll see. But here’s one thing I know for sure: A $10,000 parking meter pays for itself a lot slower than a $145 parking meter, like the City of Great Falls, Mont. bought in 2004.

Then again, the new meters allow users to pay via cell phone or credit card, avoiding the horrific inconvenience of having to carry around an actual quarter. It’s way more convenient to stand there on the sidewalk and hope you don’t get mugged while the credit card transaction processes.

Thanks to FOX News contributor Anne Linehan, I just became aware of local blogger deskmerc.

Highly recommended– guest post by "nondeskmerc"– "Lunchbox Politics."

Per the request of Edd Hendee, the Coach Rios flier:

2 all Latinos!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
We gots 2 stay together and protest against the new law that wants 2 be passed against all immigrants. We gots 2 show the U.S. that they aint [doody] with out us. All this is going down Thursday March 30 at City Hall or Old Galveston road. All schools like Milby, Sterling, Chavez … Pasadena, and many more are down. So come support and fight for whats right.

["Doody" not original word used; altered by LST]

Kudos to the Chronicle’s Matthew Tresaugue for a straight-news story that speaks for itself:

Priscilla Slade, Texas Southern University’s embattled president, charged the school thousands of dollars last year for exercise classes and golf lessons, presents for employees and regents and a move across town to her new house near Memorial Park, records show.

The receipts and invoices, released to the Houston Chronicle under the Texas Public Information Act, provide a fuller picture of her spending, an issue that spurred the university’s governing board to place Slade on paid leave last month. [snip]

Her expenses in 2005 include new furniture for her home and office, season tickets for the Houston Rockets and Houston Texans and at least seven trips to the Houstonian Club’s spa.

TSU also spent more than $20,000 for Slade’s airfare to destinations as far away as Beijing and as near as College Station and renewed her membership in Continental Airlines’ Presidents Club, which costs $250 a year.

The perks were in addition to her cash compensation, including housing and car allowances, of roughly $310,000 last year. [snip]

Slade’s contract allows up to $50,000 annually for travel, entertainment and other expenses related to university business. The expenses "shall be reasonable" and are subject to the approval of the university’s board chairman, according to the terms of the contract.

Slade spent more than twice the limit in 2005, according to records.

Her contract allows Slade to join "a health and/or dining club" of her choice, and TSU spent more than $20,000 on her membership dues and incidentals at the Houstonian Club and Spa and the Houston Club, a private dining club downtown.

In addition to the Houstonian’s annual dues of $5,738, Slade charged $1,280 for golf lessons and 47 Pilates exercise sessions at a cost between $55 and $65 each to the university. She also spent $2,316 at the club’s Trellis Spa.

On purchase orders, university officials justified the expenses as necessary "for building university relationships" and "for stress release/relaxation" related to Slade’s role as president.

Slade also used her expense account to buy nearly $800 worth of gift baskets for regents, in most cases as birthday presents. And she spent $4,884 at Neiman Marcus on candles, perfume and neckties as Christmas gifts for employees.

Ah, the life of the mind.

Who’da thunk we’d EVER read this headline in the Houston Chronicle?

The loss of DeLay’s clout leaves a big void

Nice of them to finally notice.

But how to explain this gaping error?

DeLay made no formal public appearances Tuesday, announcing his plans in a video released to news outlets, and in discussions with selected interviewers including talk show host Sam Malone of KTRH-AM (740) and Jon Scott of Fox News Network.

He left Fox’s Houston studio around 9:30 a.m. in the passenger seat of a gray Lincoln without giving a statement to reporters gathered outside.

Hmm…. actually, we seem to recall DeLay specifically mentioning that he was giving his very first media interview of the day to his friend, Bible study partner, and long-time political supporter Edd Hendee on KSEV at 7:00 am.

Of course, that would technically be covered under the "discussions with selected interviewers including" language used in the article…

But the question we have is this– has Jeff Cohen instituted some sort of petty "Station-That-Shall-Not-Be-Named" policy on his reporters?

That, my friends, would be Chronically Pathetic.

The CBS Evening News– in better shape then ever before…

Hard-nosed reporter Katie Couric lands the scoop at the Astrodome…

Hurricane Katrina moved a hair on Gov. Perry’s head!

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