The Lighter Side : Lone Star Times

The Lighter Side

by The Panda Man · 04/11/2006 12:05 pm

With so many stressful stories in the news lately about illegal immigration rallies and the like, now is a good time to take a look at the lighter side of things and get that blood pressure back down. Believe it or not, plenty of odd things are still going on around the country, even in the midst of serious political debate. For example, the latest from Greeters Gone Wild:

Police: Man Asking Boys To Perform Lewd Acts In Wal-Mart

Authorities in Central Florida are searching Tuesday for a man accused of asking boys to perform lewd acts for money inside a Wal-Mart store.

If only they had gone to Target instead.

14,000 Brass Knuckles Found Disguised As Belt Buckles

"There is no way this could be used as a belt buckle," Local 6 reporter Erik von Ancken said. "This is not a novelty, it is solid metal used for only one reason police tells [sic] us. In fact, even the packaging is a joke — it is spelled ‘b-u-k-l-e.’ The packaging, from Pakistan and China, reads ‘belt buckle’ but police say that is ridiculous."

“Honest officer, ‘knukle bukles’ are back in style. It’s a fashion statement.”

Maine Protects Pets With Restraining Orders

Maine is taking the lead when it comes to making sure that pets don’t suffer the fallout from domestic violence.

“Your Honor, Fluffy has threatened to scratch my client’s eyes out, and if the restraining order is not granted a flea dip may be necessary.”

Next, the serious folks at NASA unveil some interesting plans.

NASA To Crash Craft Into Moon Crater

Apparently this one will be intentional.

As part of the plan to put robot explorers — and, later, people — on the moon, NASA will crash a spacecraft into the lunar surface in 2008. The explosion should be visible from Earth.

In that project, the SUV-sized upper stage that will take the equipment from Earth orbit to the moon will then crash into a crater near the moon’s south pole. A follow-on craft will then be able to analyze the material as it flies through the debris.

Congratulations to NASA for providing the environmentalists with a new cause; protecting the moon from collisions with evil space-SUVs.

And finally, an Iowa couple’s schemes are unraveled by hunger.

2 People Charged With Filing Fake Obituary With Newspaper

Authorities say James Snyder and Mary Jo Jensen submitted a death notice to the Waterloo newspaper, saying that Jensen’s 17-year-old son had died after a lengthy illness. Police say they did it so they could get off work for a few days.

Authorities were notified after the teen was spotted at a local restaurant.

“I would have gotten away with it too, if it weren’t for you meddling kids. Well, that and junior got hungry.”

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Comments

4 Responses to “The Lighter Side”

Doch4 on April 11th, 2006 at 1:10 pm

Ah yes, some humor is needed, especially if you have been watching the U.S. surrender to Mexico by way of Washinton, D.C. ! !

Kennedy and the HildaBeast Clinton are pandering big time for the Hispanic votes and trading off national security for those votes.

Both the GOP and the DNC are guilty of this with the DNC being the biggest offender. Because the DNC will go to the point of outright treason for votes and that is unacceptable. We have laws to prevent this that will never be enforced.

If it is all analyzed it will give you ulcers and like Jeremy said, we need some humor to offset the political correct times that we are in !
Buy stock in Tums it is a winner now !!!!

If the current trend of taking over cities by illegals, through illegal voters at the polls, example Los Angeles, then in under 20 years a major portion of southwest U.S. will go well over 51% Hispanic to a majority of voters.

There are rumblings to be patient, a 20 year march to victory by way of the polls and taking political power. Once accomplished, there will be pressure from WITHIN and from WITHOUT to succeed from the Union.

When done,the proposal will be to take back Texas, Arizona and as much of California as possible and suck into Mexico !!!! !

Q. Think it is impossible ????

A. Take current trends of illegal imigration, the TOTAL failure of Washinton,D.C. to stop it, add 20 years to it, and a Hillary or a Kerry type treasonous jerk in office, combined with a sell out to the U.N. and say GOOD BYE to the U.S. Constitution and freedoms as we now know them !

The young children of America today are going to pay the price big time in less than 20 years for this pandering, political correctness, lack of law enforcement and lousy, sleazy politics.

A sad day for America, Yes we need some humor, however, unless you are in a fog it will be hard to find some ! !
fasternu426 on April 11th, 2006 at 1:14 pm

This is one of the best comeback lines of all time. It is a portion Of National Public Radio (NPR) interview between a female broadcaster and US Marine Corps General Reinwald who was about to sponsor a Boy Scout Troop visiting his military installation.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER: So, General Reinwald, what things are you going to teach these young boys when they visit your base?

GENERAL REINWALD: We’re going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery, and shooting.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER: Shooting! That’s a bit irresponsible, isn’t it?

GENERAL REINWALD: I don’t see why, they’ll be properly supervised on the rifle range.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER: Don’t you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be teaching children?

GENERAL REINWALD: I don’t see how. We will be teaching them proper rifle discipline before they even touch a firearm.

FEMALE INTERVIEWER: But you’re equipping them to become violent killers.

GENERAL REINWALD: Well, you’re equipped to be a prostitute, but you’re not one, are you?

The radio went silent and the interview ended.
FourAlarm on April 11th, 2006 at 2:55 pm

My cousin faked his death in a surfing accident. Someone was looking for him he thought this was a nifty way out of a situation. Imagine my surprise when I spotted him months later paddling out towards a set coming in.

The goofy things we dream up in our youth…
kidwittehtape on April 11th, 2006 at 4:25 pm

2 amazing