Bert and Ernie: an interfaith exposé. : Lone Star Times

Bert and Ernie: an interfaith exposé.

by Matt Bramanti · 08/10/2006 2:10 pm

We all know that Bert, the high-strung yellow Muppet of Sesame Street fame, has a mean streak in him:

Death to Big Bird!

But where did this hatred come from? At long last, LST’s crack staff has found the answer.

Bert’s wicked vitriol stems from his long-time association with Ernie. For years, Bert’s uptight, organized nature clashed with Ernie’s messy, laid-back life, and the resentment boiled beneath the surface. Over time, Bert came to associate his hateful feelings with Ernie’s ancestral people, and he naturally was drawn to al-Qaeda’s violent ideology.

You see, Ernie is a Jew, and here’s proof.

Sadly, what could have been a shining example of interreligious dialogue has collapsed, another victim of the intifada.

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Comments

9 Responses to “Bert and Ernie: an interfaith exposé.”

Hogfan on August 10th, 2006 at 2:30 pm

Now that’s funny right thar. I don’t care who you are, that’s funny.
Robert on August 10th, 2006 at 2:33 pm

Wow, I’m first to post–hopefully.

So here is my “Top Ten” list of captions for this picture:

1) Osama, I want to be a “raghead” like you. Do you have any more cloth to make into a turban.

2) Being in a cave for all this time, makes me lonely for companionship. That’s why I got Bert.

3) Osama, are you sure where I’m going there are virgin puppets?

4) Do I have to go crawling in those caves, I’m claustrophobic?

5) Look, just put these explosives where the hand goes!!!

6) Osama, I don’t think I can grow a beard.

7) Osama, thank you for allowing me to come over to the dark side.

I like puppets, they are so trainable. I can teach them to speak and act like I want, sort of like my other followers.

9) Wow!!! Osama, did you have to blow up Ernie to prove your point.

10) Osama, do you consider puppets to be infidels?

Read and enjoy!!!
emmekelley on August 10th, 2006 at 2:35 pm

Robert you didn’t make #1 but #2 but the list is good. Are we going to send out the terror alert.
Definitely Blonde on August 10th, 2006 at 2:57 pm

After recently converting to muslimisum, Miss Piggy, who was re-cristianed miss beagle, married Osama pig laden. She has stepped forward to tell us today that Ernie is not mean, he is just a sweet missunderstood soul who wants to blow Berts head off!

We sould have love and compassion for Ernie as he trains with the Taliban so he may achieve perfect unity with God and be blessed with 72 virgin puppets when he gets his well earned revenge on Bert, thus proving he is worthy of the ultimate reward.

When asked how Miss Piggy could give herself to a pig hater, she grinned and said - somethings are reward within themselves! Oink oink
jphilb on August 10th, 2006 at 3:05 pm

The paper clip collection! They need Bert’s paperclip collection. That’s the connection.
jphilb on August 10th, 2006 at 3:07 pm

Check out the bottom right corner of the picture.
Hilarious. Do they even realize…

http://www.snopes.com/rumors/bert.htm
bweldon on August 10th, 2006 at 3:32 pm

#6, see that is why the Radical Islams are bigger hypocrites than the Demorcrat party here in the US. I mean they are using all sorts of modern technology that the US has in some way either designed or produced or uses in huge amounts, yet they are the same people who want to wipe us off the face of the earth. Where will their C4, sat phones and other toys come from if they kill all the “infidels”?
gtotracker on August 10th, 2006 at 3:43 pm

If you like your irony served up cold follow the Fox News link from the link in #6.
gtotracker on August 11th, 2006 at 8:13 pm

Maybe my last comment was too cryptic but the Reuters rep. saying it is against Reuters policy to doctor photos is funny. They must have changed their policy.