Is there anything they can’t do? : Lone Star Times

Is there anything they can’t do?

by The Panda Man · 08/15/2006 10:30 am

The objects of endless male fascination just found a new use: combat gear.

Breast implants saves woman after Hezbollah attack

“This is an extraordinary case, but it’s a fact that the silicone implants prevented her from a more serious and deeper wound,” Jacky Govrin, of the hospital in Nahariya that treated the woman, told army radio Tuesday.

“The young woman went through surgery two years ago to have a larger chest,” he said.

“During the war she was wounded in the chest by shrapnel” that got stuck in the implants instead of penetrating further.

Interested parties will be glad to know that the damaged silicone was replaced.

“I’ve never seen the ‘bullet resistant’ models before. Mind if I take a closer look?”

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Comments

26 Responses to “Is there anything they can’t do?”

The most skeptical SOB on the planet on August 15th, 2006 at 10:45 am

I prefer to play offense.
Robert on August 15th, 2006 at 10:47 am

Wow!!! Now there’s a picture I can work with. So here is my “Top Ten” list of captions for this picture:

1) I can see where this would work as a bullet proof vest.

2) Gosh!!! They grow those “melons” large in Texas.

3) I’ll bet you can feed a lot of babies with these!!!

4) I’m sorry, can I retrieve my cellphone that I dropped down there??

5) So these are the mountains that Bill keeps talking about climbing.

6) Now, if Hillary had a set of these, Bill wouldn’t need to stray.

7) Is that the slot where I deposit my “ones”?

So that’s what they refer to when they talk about “the valley”!!

9) Damn, can they get any bigger!!!

10) So, how many people have actually gotten lost down there???

A little crude but its a “guy thing” when it comes to this “subject”. So enjoy!!!
Dave D on August 15th, 2006 at 10:51 am

O.K.,…Where’s Gregg!
Neocon on August 15th, 2006 at 10:54 am

Dave D

Gregg was th first commenter (#1) on this thread.
headshaker on August 15th, 2006 at 10:55 am

Is that Bramanti?
The most skeptical SOB on the planet on August 15th, 2006 at 11:06 am

Sigh
Dave D on August 15th, 2006 at 11:18 am

#4 Oh, “Never Mind” http://snltranscripts.jt.org/75/75gupdate.phtml
I seem to remember something being said by Squawkbox about changing names and such.
Jeremy Weidenhof on August 15th, 2006 at 11:20 am

#4
Cut DaveD some slack, he was obviously distracted…
vlou on August 15th, 2006 at 11:26 am

I am ready for one of these implants since I may be at any moment prone to be shot in the chest while traveling around Houston. Not a bad way to do without the real bullet-proof vest and at the same time look voluptuous.
Sonia E. Alaniz on August 15th, 2006 at 12:08 pm

Prince Harry would have fun with these.
TexasKnight on August 15th, 2006 at 12:17 pm

So is that why the DoD started providing elective breast augmentation surgery at no charge for active duty females?
Neocon on August 15th, 2006 at 12:17 pm

Jeremy
#8

Obviously! LOL!
Jeremy Weidenhof on August 15th, 2006 at 12:29 pm

#11
They’re putting the “body” back in body armor!
Big45Iron on August 15th, 2006 at 12:35 pm

What really happens is that the shooter’s eyes tend to cross when looking at targets like these, creating a parallex image which throws off the shot. It has nothing to do with the effective thickness of the body armor, just poorly placed shots. As soon as the bad guys discover this, they will move in much closer to the target and overcome this obstacle….or maybe surrender to her.
Rorschach on August 15th, 2006 at 12:38 pm

#14, it is especially effective against islamothugs as they are forbidden to gaze upon a woman that is not their wife.
fasternu426 on August 15th, 2006 at 1:43 pm

Can they make me a Turkey Pot Pie?
http://www.pepperidgefarm.com/images/meal_solutions/meals_top_graphic.jpg
The most skeptical SOB on the planet on August 15th, 2006 at 2:00 pm

God must be a woman. If God were a man he would have put breasts on womens backs too.
No Higher Tax on August 15th, 2006 at 2:05 pm

How many milli-hovies are those?

Milli-hovies is a cubic measurement of breast size.
Rorschach on August 15th, 2006 at 4:34 pm

#18, what is the conversion factor to convert millihovies to cubic inches?
No Higher Tax on August 15th, 2006 at 4:55 pm

Sorry but the conversion is not in cubic inches as it metric measurement which has to do with the volumetric capacity pertaining to the part of the body for nutrtional intake. Since this varies with the individual the individual pictured above may be 8 milli-hovies by one individual, 6 milli-hovies by another individual and 10 milli-hovies by another individual. It is not a standard scientific measurement since the Bureau of Measurement Standards didnot want to get involved due to potential lawsuits over disagreement of standardization as it could cause some to underrated and some overrated this could lead to financial liabilities or lawsuits. I hope this helps explain the complicated problem of milli-hovie standardization.
LapDancer on August 15th, 2006 at 5:28 pm

You realize just how much the GOOD ones cost? Mine was done 5 months ago. Can’t wait till I finally get enough money saved to have the other one done. (insert sound of tip jar rattling here)
FourAlarm on August 15th, 2006 at 5:41 pm

Hey Lappy…
If they come out looking anything like the bumpers of my uncles 56 Caddy in pic 5, your tip jar will be empty for a loooooooong time.
fasternu426 on August 15th, 2006 at 6:34 pm

22
Ready tubes one two, bearing 2-7-zero! On my mark… 3….2….1…. fire!
http://www.militaryfactory.com/munitions/imgs/mk48.jpg
Neocon on August 15th, 2006 at 7:22 pm

Lapdancer
#21

ROFLMAO! Saving for # 2? hee hee! Someone would say you are a little unbalanced!
nz-texas on August 15th, 2006 at 10:18 pm

#21 is it difficult to walk in a straight line? I would think you might lean to one side like a tire out of balance
gtotracker on August 16th, 2006 at 7:01 am

Introducing Fox News newest reporter is Brian Kilmeade. Brian?