Bramanti invited to Chron; blogger heads into belly of beast for recon work : Lone Star Times

Bramanti invited to Chron; blogger heads into belly of beast for recon work

by Matt Bramanti · 08/28/2006 1:47 pm

The reader representative of the Chronicle, James Campbell, has invited me to a reader rountable at the offices of the Houston Chronicle.

[Insert dramatic music here.]

The panel, in partnership with the American Press Institute, is described as follows:

This important session, which should last no more than 90-minutes, will conclude two days of staff training in conjunction with the American Press Institute’s “Our Readers Are Watching” seminar. Your input will give our staff a chance to hear from readers about their views on ethical issues. We expect to hear insight from you on issues that hurt (or help) our credibility. We welcome your candor.

Your group will be large enough to give us a diverse range of perspectives, but small enough that we can hear substantive views from everyone in the time allowed. The group will reflect the diversity of the community and will include non-readers, online\nreaders and occasional readers.

Candor. Yeah, I think I can bring some of that. But what else?

What questions should I ask of Houston’s only major paper?
What opinions should I bring for Houston’s Leading Information Source™?
What incriminating documents should I swipe?

Leave your suggestions in the comments.
Also, if I mysteriously disappear, only to emerge as a red smear on Wednesday’s sports page, you’ll know what happened. Tell my mom I love her.

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Comments

33 Responses to “Bramanti invited to Chron; blogger heads into belly of beast for recon work”

TexasTommy on August 28th, 2006 at 1:58 pm

If Mr. Campbell starts talking about baseball, pulls out a baseball bat, and walks around those seated at the table, ala Robert DeNiro in “The Untouchables”, I wouldn’t wait until he got to you
Laurence Simon on August 28th, 2006 at 2:02 pm

“Don’t you think people standing at intersections selling newspapers is an unsafe business practice?”

“Sometimes you give the race in the description of a wanted fugitive and other times you don’t. Other sources will list the race. Your policy states that you will list race as a part of the description. Why, then, does race not appear on occasion even though it’s listed in other news sources and the HPD bulletins?”

“Wild Card? Ha ha. Yeah, right. Where’s the tombstone?”

“When Lucas Wall left the Chronicle, did the door hit him on the ass on the way out?”

“You’ve had scaffolding around your building for a year. It’s pretty damn ugly. When are you going to be finished making your building ugly enough to stand on its own without the ugly scaffolding?”

“Have you considered building a Houston Chronicle Theme Park?”

“Did you give Richard Justice an office because there’s no point putting a crazy man in a padded cubicle?”
Kevin Whited on August 28th, 2006 at 2:04 pm

Please ask them why the error in the editorial attacking Dan Patrick on the abortion trigger law was never corrected. They mischaracterized South Dakota’s law, and multiple emails to the reader representative on the topic have gone unanswered. I would think readers here would be particularly interested in that one.

You might also ask the Chronicle about the recent decision to quote one Cynthia Bailey, who criticized the administration of North Forest ISD despite herself having pled guilty to stealing over $100,000 from the same district (a fact left out of the Chronicle story). The Chronicle emailed me back that they didn’t see the need for a correction or clarification, since any number of people felt the way Bailey did. Well, fine, but any number of people didn’t steal that much money from the district. Such whitewashing does not go unnoticed, and really hurts credibility.
Rastus on August 28th, 2006 at 2:29 pm

Question - why do you lie and misrepresent
Opinion - leave town (or the state)
Documents to take - nothing down there is worth taking
Ken Blair on August 28th, 2006 at 2:41 pm

Ask them if the editoral page or the “star” section is more absorbent at the bottom of a birdcage.
Matt "Zilla" Bramanti, CPO™ on August 28th, 2006 at 2:47 pm

Just got this email from Campbell:

Tell TexasTommy I’m placing plastic on the floor so clean up will be seamless.

This trip reminds me of one of my favorite poems:

Cannon to right of them,
Cannon to left of them,
Cannon in front of them
Volley’d and thunder’d;
Storm’d at with shot and shell,
Boldly they rode and well,
Into the jaws of Death,
Into the mouth of Hell
Rode the six hundred.
Phil_M on August 28th, 2006 at 2:59 pm

Matt - A few possible topics:

1. Inquire about the infamous metrorail memo that got posted on their website by accident, and the Chron’s subsequent cheerleading for EVERYTHING Metro has ever wanted to do. Ask how they perceive their own credibility on the light rail issue, and point out how the public perceives them. Ask what steps they’re willing to take to improve their credibility.

2. Cragg Hines’ chronic biliousity. Inquire about their lack of a local conservative columnist to counterbalance him.

3. Who really picks the daily editorials? It can’t be human. Think more along the lines of the South Park episode where the manatees pick “idea balls” out of a tank of water. Cases in point: editorial attacking Kinky Friedman for not being serious enough, editorial attacking Dan Patrick for espousing the exact same pro-life views he’s always had, editorial attacking the Republican Party for referring to the opposition as the “Democrat Party.”

4. Clay Robison’s multiple hats. Bureau chief…left wing editorialist…bureau chief…burea chief who inserts left wing editorial into his bureau’s stories…left wing editorialist. Which is he, and what steps will the Chron be taking to clarify his actual status to the public?

5. Paper dumps. We’ve all gotten them. Ask what the Chron’s REAL circulation numbers are (they won’t say but it’s worth having fun) minus all the free unwanted copies they dump on people’s front lawns and in the classrooms of unsuspecting school kids.

6. Who will be the replacement scapegoat? Now that Tom DeLay is gone, who will you be selecting to blame for all that you percieve as wrong and evil in the world?

7. Ask about the Chronicle’s world class scaffolding project, and the value they undoubtedly think it brings to Houston’s world class skyline.

8. Any sightings of Richard J.V. Johnson’s ghost lately?
Rorschach on August 28th, 2006 at 3:00 pm

Just remember to take your CHL weapon with you… James should know not to bring a baseball bat to a gunfight. Their resident Plagerist seems to think a lacross stick and a shouted reference to a non-existent gun is perfectly satisfactory protection, a .40 SW should be more than adequate for the task.=D

Seriously, ask why they consistently lean to the left on their editorial and Austin political coverage when most of their readers lean the opposite direction. It would appear they are actively TRYING to piss off their customer base. Few businesses get away with doing that for terribly long. How hard could it be to find a few conservative editorialists? And where exactly do they get off writing an unattributed editorial anyway? If they have the balls to publish it, they should sign their name to it. (this said by someone who blogs under a pseudonym right?) well enough people know who I really am to make it a moot point but I don’t need to give my employer a reason to fire me. If editorializing was my job and not my hobby and not something to get me fired over, it would be a different story.
CherokeeCowboy on August 28th, 2006 at 3:01 pm

Ask them to start stating the “race” of people that comment crimes and are still on the loose. I’m getting tired of suspecting a purple eyed, blue skinned alien from Mars wearing a white t-shirt.
m9777 on August 28th, 2006 at 3:18 pm

…”where did you bury your fact-checkers?”

…”are advertizing space & rates dependant upon the degree to which you are “homers” for the Astros, Texans, Rockets and ‘Metros?’

…what careers/positions/jobs are you contemplating after the collapse of the print media?
Quicksilver on August 28th, 2006 at 3:30 pm

Would you consider selling the Chronicle to Dan Patrick or Edd Hendee?
Tito on August 28th, 2006 at 3:49 pm

Ask them why are they so ignorant when it comes to Christian, especially Catholic, issues.

Oh, and why so many misspellings?
Rorschach on August 28th, 2006 at 3:58 pm

#12, I wouldn’t mention the spelling thing if it were me, I can’t spell to save my life either….

Of course I don’t have a staff of editors either….
shannon on August 28th, 2006 at 4:04 pm

A red smear? Not green and gold?
JRB on August 28th, 2006 at 4:13 pm

I’d like to know what makes them so hot stuff when most of their news is over a week old and their editorials are very biased.

Ask them, “If you didn’t have a crossword and commics, would anyone read your paper”? Both are available on line.
tedtam on August 28th, 2006 at 4:14 pm

Dare them to join YOU at a “roundtable” event with selected bloggers. I bet they never get out of their own echo chamber and never really touch reality.

Ask for a count of the “anti-De Lay” articles and the “pro” articles. See if this makes a point. Ditto for metro.
shannon on August 28th, 2006 at 4:17 pm

Tell ‘em we want more extensive coverage of the death of conservatism in the Texas Republican Party. Such coverage would fit right in with their general hatred of all things conservative.

Wear a RINO suit to the meeting.
fink1 on August 28th, 2006 at 4:23 pm

Some questions:

How much influence does Jeff Cohen’s wife, anti-death penalty attorney Katherine Kase, have on decisions about which crime/punishment stories to pursue and the tone of those stories?

Does the Chronicle have a written code of ethics? Is it public? Why not post it?

Federated, the parent company of Macy’s (which swallowed Foley’s), is rumored to be leaning away from newspaper advertising toward TV. Will Hearst bite the bullet and keep staff or lay off a considerable number?

What’s really behind combining the Austin bureaus of the Chronicle and the San Antonio Express-News?

Will the Chron look at sentencing of folks who lead police on vehicle chases? Are those idiots getting hammered in court or getting hand pats?

Which top executives are board members of which interest groups? (A la Richard Johnson and Planned Parenthood.)

It’s interesting how the Chron plays word games. A group calling itself “pro life” is “anti-abortion” when the Chron describes it. Yet, a group that is pro-illegal immigration is pro-immigration and a group that is pro-legal immigration and against illegal immigration seems to be protrayed as anti- immigration and, I think, sometimes called that.

When is the Chron doing a 10-year story on welfare reform? When is the Chron doing a story on the success of legal concealed carry in Houston and the state?
Rorschach on August 28th, 2006 at 4:49 pm

Hey Matt, Why don’t you bring a plate of “tuna” sandwiches for your hosts….=D
shannon on August 28th, 2006 at 4:49 pm

What’s really behind combining the Austin bureaus of the Chronicle and the San Antonio Express-News?

Haven’t you noticed? It’s all one city from north of Round Rock to south San Antone, now?

/great questions BTW, fink1.
lecard on August 28th, 2006 at 4:50 pm

I would not give Campbell the time of day. Good luck.
Smacktle on August 28th, 2006 at 4:52 pm

When are you going to hire me (Matt Bramanti) to run your newspaper correctly?
malcolm on August 28th, 2006 at 6:42 pm

#18 fink1 - good questions! Outstanding! I dealt with these MMMM - major marker media moguls (AKA media a$$holes) for years in my former life.

Matt: IMHO- If you would actually ask the Comical some of the above questions they would immediately ask you to leave! Some are really good! However, I would love to see the look on their faces if you asked: “How does the Chronical’s upper management feel about the papers public perception of their obvious liberal bias, lack of revelancy in the market place and declining subcriber numbers. As a secondary question you may ask, “Does the management know that Mr Campbell did not answer subscriber/inquirer e-mail questions for approx. two months? And thirdly: Do you think that the LST gang and their posters of note really give a SH*T? (Sorry, MOM. I’ll try to be better!)
This panel reminds me of Guv. “Good hairs” farce on tax reform. All show and no substance.
I’m outta’ here and having a glass of Merlot wit me bride!
You guys and gals ghave a great evening!
Matt "Zilla" Bramanti, CPO™ on August 28th, 2006 at 7:34 pm

Malcolm, in James’ defense, those questions were for the boss man at the Chron, Editor Jeff Cohen.

I suspect Cohen just left Campbell out to twist in the wind with the riff-raff (i.e. us).
RidgeRunner on August 28th, 2006 at 8:09 pm

zilla…you need to ask some “what if ah” questions
1. What if ah, I line my bird cage wht the chron, will it make my bird want to go left instead of south?
2. What if ah, I wrap fish in the chron, will it stink anymore than if I were to use plan brown paper and is it better to wrap with the fold or aganist it?
3. What if ah, this town had a second paper, would the chron still be as left as they are?
4. What if ah, I start collecting the papers as fast as that misguided distribution expert can fling em, would I be saving my neighbors mental health?
5. What if ah they had a clue?
Rorschach on August 28th, 2006 at 8:40 pm

ask him when he plans to actually blog.
gtotracker on August 28th, 2006 at 10:06 pm

The Charge of the Heavy Brigade at Balaclava

by Lord Alfred Tennyson
(1809-1892)
PROLOGUE TO GENERAL HAMLEY

Our birches yellowing and from each
The light leaf falling fast,
While squirrels from our fiery beech
Were bearing off the mast,
You came, and look’d and loved the view
Long-known and loved by me,
Green Sussex fading into blue
With one gray glimpse of sea;
And, gazing from this height alone,
We spoke of what had been
Most marvellous in the wars your own
Crimean eyes had seen;
And now–like old-world inns that take
Some warrior for a sign
That therewithin a guest may make
True cheer with honest wine–
Because you heard the lines I read
Nor utter’d word of blame,
I dare without your leave to head
These rhymings with your name,
Who know you but as one of those
I fain would meet again,
Yet know you, as your England knows
That you and all your men
Were soldiers to her heart’s desire,
When, in the vanish’d year,
You saw the league-long rampart-fire
Flare from Tel-el-Kebir
Thro’ darkness, and the foe was driven,
And Wolseley overthrew
Arâbi, and the stars in heaven
Paled, and the glory grew.

The Charge Of The Heavy Brigade At Balaclava

October 25, 1854

I.

The charge of the gallant three hundred, the Heavy Brigade!
Down the hill, down the hill, thousands of Russians,
Thousands of horsemen, drew to the valley–and stay’d;
For Scarlett and Scarlett’s three hundred were riding by
When the points of the Russian lances arose in the sky;
And he call’d, ‘Left wheel into line!’ and they wheel’d and obey’d.
Then he look’d at the host that had halted he knew not why,
And he turn’d half round, and he bade his trumpeter sound
To the charge, and he rode on ahead, as he waved his blade
To the gallant three hundred whose glory will never die–
‘Follow,’ and up the hill, up the hill, up the hill,
Follow’d the Heavy Brigade.

II.

The trumpet, the gallop, the charge, and the might of the fight!
Thousands of horsemen had gather’d there on the height,
With a wing push’d out to the left and a wing to the right,
And who shall escape if they close? but he dash’d up alone
Thro’ the great gray slope of men,
Sway’d his sabre, and held his own
Like an Englishman there and then.
All in a moment follow’d with force
Three that were next in their fiery course,
Wedged themselves in between horse and horse,
Fought for their lives in the narrow gap they had made–
Four amid thousands! and up the hill, up the hill,
Gallopt the gallant three hundred, the Heavy Brigade.

III.

Fell like a cannon-shot,
Burst like a thunderbolt,
Crash’d like a hurricane,
Broke thro’ the mass from below,
Drove thro’ the midst of the foe,
Plunged up and down, to and fro,
Rode flashing blow upon blow,
Brave Inniskillens and Greys
Whirling their sabres in circles of light!
And some of us, all in amaze,
Who were held for a while from the fight,
And were only standing at gaze,
When the dark-muffled Russian crowd
Folded its wings from the left and the right,
And roll’d them around like a cloud,–
O, mad for the charge and the battle were we,
When our own good redcoats sank from sight,
Like drops of blood in a dark-gray sea,
And we turn’d to each other, whispering, all dismay’d,
‘Lost are the gallant three hundred of Scarlett’s Brigade!’

IV.

‘Lost one and all’ were the words
Mutter’d in our dismay;
But they rode like victors and lords
Thro’ the forest of lances and swords
In the heart of the Russian hordes,
They rode, or they stood at bay–
Struck with the sword-hand and slew,
Down with the bridle-hand drew
The foe from the saddle and threw
Underfoot there in the fray–
Ranged like a storm or stood like a rock
In the wave of a stormy day;
Till suddenly shock upon shock
Stagger’d the mass from without,
Drove it in wild disarray,
For our men gallopt up with a cheer and a shout,
And the foeman surged, and waver’d, and reel’d
Up the hill, up the hill, up the hill, out of the field,
And over the brow and away.

V.

Glory to each and to all, and the charge that they made!
Glory to all the three hundred, and all the Brigade!

Note.–The ‘three hundred’ of the ‘Heavy Brigade’ who made
this famous charge were the Scots Greys and the 2d squadron
of Inniskillens; the remainder of the ‘Heavy Brigade’ subsequently
dashing up to their support.
The ‘three’ were Scarlett’s aide-de-camp, Elliot, and the trumpeter,
and Shegog the orderly, who had been close behind him.
gtotracker on August 28th, 2006 at 10:12 pm

Nobody remembers the heavy brigade wheeling left and out numbered 5-1.
gtotracker on August 28th, 2006 at 10:47 pm

The Charge of the Light Brigade
Alfred, Lord Tennyson

1.

Half a league, half a league,
Half a league onward,
All in the valley of Death
Rode the six hundred.
“Forward, the Light Brigade!
“Charge for the guns!” he said:
Into the valley of Death
Rode the six hundred.

2.

“Forward, the Light Brigade!”
Was there a man dismay’d?
Not tho’ the soldier knew
Someone had blunder’d:
Their’s not to make reply,
Their’s not to reason why,
Their’s but to do and die:
Into the valley of Death
Rode the six hundred.

3.

Cannon to right of them,
Cannon to left of them,
Cannon in front of them
Volley’d and thunder’d;
Storm’d at with shot and shell,
Boldly they rode and well,
Into the jaws of Death,
Into the mouth of Hell
Rode the six hundred.

4.

Flash’d all their sabres bare,
Flash’d as they turn’d in air,
Sabring the gunners there,
Charging an army, while
All the world wonder’d:
Plunged in the battery-smoke
Right thro’ the line they broke;
Cossack and Russian
Reel’d from the sabre stroke
Shatter’d and sunder’d.
Then they rode back, but not
Not the six hundred.

5.

Cannon to right of them,
Cannon to left of them,
Cannon behind them
Volley’d and thunder’d;
Storm’d at with shot and shell,
While horse and hero fell,
They that had fought so well
Came thro’ the jaws of Death
Back from the mouth of Hell,
All that was left of them,
Left of six hundred.

6.

When can their glory fade?
O the wild charge they made!
All the world wondered.
Honor the charge they made,
Honor the Light Brigade,
Noble six hundred.

Copied from Poems of Alfred Tennyson,
J. E. Tilton and Company, Boston, 1870
gtotracker on August 28th, 2006 at 10:50 pm

?
gtotracker on August 28th, 2006 at 11:16 pm

Okay, comment #6 started me to look for this. I think the charge of the 300 is the better poem. And they won. My apologies for straying off topic.
Squawkbox Noise on August 28th, 2006 at 11:18 pm

gtotracker
Hell I thought you were trying to bolster Bramanti’s spirits or something. You know some inspirational poetry before he goes to be slimed.
Matt "Zilla" Bramanti, CPO™ on August 29th, 2006 at 1:52 am

Half a league onward, Squawk