Border Circus : Lone Star Times

Border Circus

by The Panda Man · 10/13/2006 1:53 pm

Literally. A man running for Congress as a Republican in a Pennsylvania district was visiting Texas and decided to have a look at the border situation for himself.

In Brownsville, he witnessed half a dozen men swim under one of the international bridges “with complete immunity” which in turn prompted him to take the immigration issue to the next level.

Disturbed by this scene, our imaginative candidate did what any of us would do. He hired elephants and a band to demonstrate the ease of crossing the border.

“To my surprise, the band played on, the elephants splashed away, and nobody showed up,” Bhakta said of the stunt. “I’m astounded.”

“The elephant never made landfall into Mexico, but I tell you something, he could have made 15 laps back and forth, but no one showed up,” said Raj Peter Bhakta, a former star on the NBC show “The Apprentice,” who also is a Republican candidate for the 13th District U.S. House of Representatives seat in Eastern Pennsylvania.

The event was not without casualties, however.

The animals needed to be sprayed for ticks.

Candidate Bhakta was naturally distressed by the overall lack of response to his traveling circus.

“If I can get an elephant led by a mariachi band into this country, I think Osama bin Laden could get across with all the weapons of mass destruction he could get into this country,” Bhakta said.

Unfortunately…

The mariachi band was not immediately available for comment.

Careful, it’s a circus out there.

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Comments

11 Responses to “Border Circus”

chickenmom on October 13th, 2006 at 2:00 pm

Amazing. The sad thing is that this stunt probably won’t product any further coverage or investigation.

In order to keep the dogs in my yard and other critters out, I have an electrified fence. Maybe it’s worth trying on the border. It would be a lot cheaper than $700 million as well.
Rorschach on October 13th, 2006 at 2:04 pm

#1, the trick is getting the mexicans to wear the collars after the first zap…..=D
Robert on October 13th, 2006 at 2:20 pm

The stunt didn’t work because he was a Republican. If he was a Democrat we would of had 24/7 coverage by all the major liberal networks.
Jeremy Weidenhof on October 13th, 2006 at 2:26 pm

#3
Wait till PETA gets involved in behalf of the elephants. (And the ticks)
shannon on October 13th, 2006 at 2:33 pm

Best story I’ve seen in years.
OdinsAcolyte on October 13th, 2006 at 3:35 pm

I told y’all an elephant could sneak across. Think about the entire herd crossing in an uninhabited area. Now, a fence is silly. You ain’t going to fence off the Rio Grande. Face it people, we live in an unpredictable world and nobody is ’safe’. I only worry about those who want to ‘help me’ and make me ’safe’….those are the ones not to be trusted.
Big45Iron on October 13th, 2006 at 5:15 pm

John Effing Kerry voted for mariachi bands before he voted against them.
phil on October 13th, 2006 at 7:42 pm

It is all part of the Ciphering Slick Jethro w Bush doctrine:

Cut-n-Run on protecting America’s borders.

Cut-n-Run on you and me. Holds America hostage because he wants “Comprehensive Immigration reform.”

Cut-n-Run on doing the job we pay him to do.

Cut-n-Run on keeping his Oath.

Cut-n-Run on telling the Truth.

Cut-n-Run on integrity.

Cut-n-Run on character.

Ought x Ought or Naught x Naught = How much of America will be left in 15 to 20 years thanks to Jethro w.

Well at least Jethro Dubbed-Ya will be able to enjoy Fajitas down by his Cement Pond as he mortgages your kids future.
Wino on October 14th, 2006 at 7:42 am

It looks like the Bush-Clinton-Bush era is alive and well and destroying our sovereignity.

I sure do wish we had a modern day Ronnie.
PBFloyd on October 15th, 2006 at 10:05 pm

Wino: The only one who looks like he has a ball left in his sack is Guiliani, and he’s running, too.

I don’t care if he dresses in drag and or whatever else they try to dredge up. I don’t care if he’s a ‘real’ Republican or not. But I’ve seen him as a real leader(in the most difficult of circumstances; and they had their immigration problem there to, so he has experience in this area too), something this country has not had since Uncle Ronnie.

There should be at least that one choice, if Rudy can take on the mob and still being walking, the man has ‘em like grapefruits, IMHO.
TheDefender on October 16th, 2006 at 3:48 pm

Im wondering where my examples went?