I look forward to everything about Christmas–except getting my kids’ toys out of the boxes. It is inevitable that something will either be bleeding or broken by the time I’m finished. My thoughts while opening the packages are that the people/machines who boxed the toys in some factory in a communist Asian country represent the purest form of evil.
Evidently, I am not alone.
From a Good Morning America segment:
The hard-to-open plastic packaging that’s on everything from home appliances to children’s toys leads to more than 6,000 emergency-room visits per year.
There’s a name for the annoyance people feel when they try to open the packaging: wrap rage.
Hi. I am the Pine Blogger, and I have wrap rage.
Consumer Reports even has awards for the hardest packages to open. For goodness sakes, it takes 15 minutes and 10 seconds to unwrap American Idol Barbie. That’s 10 seconds more than Taylor Hicks‘ fame will last. Sadly, my son has spent less time playing with a “Pirate battles giant squid” toy than it took for me to get it out of the box.
For more of my post-Christmas, last vacation day whining, click here.
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Hi, my name is Neocon and I am a wraprageaholic!
Never did understand why manufacturers put all those twist ties in a package to hold down the pieces. The pieces aren’t going anywhere in that hard plastic wrap!
The hardest thing to unwrap is the shrink wrap on CD’s and DVD’s and anything associated with electronics.
When you couple that plastic wrapping from the manufacturers with the apparently sadistic nature of some family gift wrappers, it’s amazing that more people aren’t stabbed to death with scissors every year.
#3. ROTFL
How those candy canes. You tell the kids they can put them on tree, but try opening the friggin box and get those candy canes out. You’ll break half of them before they are out of the *%$ box.
Of course my grandkids are sure that they are suppose to eat all the broken ones - get a sugar high and drive me crazy.
Ask my grandson what his sister calls him and he’ll tell she calls him “STOP THAT”
#2 Robert:
This is from the Consumer Reports article.
“So heavily shrink-wrapped are CDs that companies sell a special gadget with a retractable blade to slice through the cellophane and security seal. A typical comment came from Stacey L. Oller of Portland, Ore., who railed against “CDs with all those stupid seal stickers and outer plastic that sticks because of static to everything and shreds into little bits when you tear it. Grrrr!”
Of course it does make it much more difficult for thieves to take the item out of the package in the store in order to steal it.
And how about Christmas lights. By the time you get them out of the package You have to track down the one or more loose bulbs to make them work.
Black & Decker to the rescue!
http://www.blackanddecker.com/productguide/product-details.aspx?productid=10973&toolview=1#details
Of course, you still have to get the product out of the plastic shell before you can use it…….
#2 - Do you have young children? CD’s and DVDs are a piece of cake compared to various dolls and plastic Fisher-Price type toys. Once you get the darn thing out of the package, then each body part (dolls) or piece (toys) are individualy twist tied or snap tied to the cardboard. Oh, then the ends of the twists are stuck the carboard by tape on the back.
Consumer reports probably does a good job describing this aspect of unwrapping. I only wonder if the time includes the additional level of difficulty of a 4 yr old crying next to you and asking if you are done yet!
ROFL - you all are too much fun! Try to assemble toys, etc. - that’s the real challenge - my husband could never put together a tricycle and still can’t (he’s 64 and hates assembling anything and he is well educated). The fine print is so difficult to read we need to get those head magnifiers to read the instructions. UGH! Tell your children (whatever their ages) that is why it is important to know how to read (ha, ha)! I have a magnifying glass in the bathroom just so I can read the shampoo bottle ingredients and deodorant chemicals and other instructions before using any of it. It is a good thing I don’t have to read the instructions on how to use bathroom tissue paper!
#11 Vlou: You don’t mean to tell us that there’s instructions on the TP roll? Heaven forbid if we’ve been using it the wrong way for so many years! Are there right handed rolls and left handed rolls? Smaller rolls for children? Should you let the paper hang off the top of the roll when installed or the bottom next to the wall? Should you fold over the ends to form a “V” like they do in hotels? Is colored paper suppose to be used just on holidays? Are the rolls with flowerdy prints just for gay users? I have some rolls that look like money that we use for really special occasions. How many sheets is deemed the proper amount to use? Is one-ply or two-ply more economical. Which is better for your hinney/skin?
Reminds me of the instructions on an iron made in China. “Do not use with clothes on.” Does that mean you have to iron “nekkid” or what? So many questions…..I’m so corn-fused!
/robert: where are you? this is toooo good to pass up!
Malcolm
ROFLMAO! My paper hangs over not under!
“in some factory in a communist Asian country represent the purest form of evil”
Oh my God! That’s almost exactly what I said!! I said Freakin’ Chinese-Communist heathen sweatshop prison laborers probably took great pleasure in putting 570 twist ties to keep GI Joe from escaping the box he was in!
And another thing! When did it become necessary to put a GOTT-DANGED teeny tiny phillips head screw on the battery access cover on every FREANIN’ battery operated toy? If your kid is too stupid to not eat the batteries and they have to be secured from him/her, just maybe they need a nice safe plush toy to drool on!
And, now they are using screws instead of twist ties to hold some toys into place inside their plastic wrapped boxes. Nothing says “screaming fit” more than opening up a toy in the car only to find you need a Phillipshead to get it out of the box.
#14. Very very funny!
Tin snips and screwdrivers!
Failing that, I suggest a Sawzall. Harbor Freight has them for $20.00 http://www.harborfreight.com
yes there are instructions. they are made for men and small children so they understand how to change the empty.
1. remove empty carboard roller
2. Throw away empty carboard roller
3. remove wrapper from fresh roll. This may take the following tools, sissors, metal nail file or extraordinary strenght.
4. Throw away tissue wrapper
5. Place paper on plastic or wooden holder
6. install into tissue holder on one end, then push in with SLIGHT pressure into slot in the other end.
7. If tissue is not in the OVER possition, remove and re-install.
gotta love those international instructions that are all pictures with no words - and the pictures are completely half-a$$ed.
#18 twocute,
You forgot a step.
Step 8. Be sure to leave a square hanging down or fold into a square after using so the next person CAN FIND THE END.
I was annoyed when my niece’s Little Mermaid doll was strapped in the box like a death row inmate. Even her HAIR was taped to the box, now that was a pain getting that dang doll out of the box with hair left on her head!
I used to purposely leave my toilet seat up. It used to bug the heck out of the ex!
A man died and went to Hell. He was greeted with great enthusiasm by the demons there as he was a celebrity. He had created the CD security packaging, and had been responsible for many souls making the downward trek instead of the upward journey. As he was being greeted by the admiring throng, Satan’s assistanta appeared. Putting his rather scaly arm around the newcomer’s shoulders, he said, “Satan himself wants to see you and make you part of his personal staff. Come with me!” Amongst all the oohs and ahhhs, the man excitedly asked “What is it that Satan wants me to do for him?” “Well,” the assistant demon said, “Satan gets lots of headaches, at least one a day, and he likes his aspirin to be fresh. You will be his official aspirin bottle opener!”
Don’t start with the pill bottles. My retired hubby always requests the easy to open childproof medicine containers used in dispensing his prescription pills. When he gets the blood pressure pills, he can’t get the bottle open so his blood pressure goes a little higher because he gets angry that he can’t get the cap off. As a result, he is know being told by his physician to double up on his blood pressure medication (this is a true story).
I learned a few years ago when my girls were around 3 and loved barbies, to open the box, take off all the plasstic wrap and twisty ties, put the doll back in the box and THEN wrap it. It was so sad to see them unwrap a present only to have it take me 20 minutes to unglue it from the box. This made the gifts much more fun for the kids - almost like when I was little. Santa also untangles any dolls he leaves too. Hope this gives a little aid to some in the future!
#13 Neo, (with apologies to Tedtam, the official poet)
Is this true?:
My paper hangs over the bath roll,
My paper hangs over the sea,
And when I am out of the paper,
It makes it too messy to _______!
#24 vlou, yes those %&#!! childproof caps that come on meds despite requests for the easy-off ones. We’ve conquered that madness by saving easy-off caps in various sizes from the bottles that do come as requested. Wrestle the offending cap off once and replace it with an easy-off one from your stash.
Our household has two adult humans, three horses, and three cats. The equines and felines are in no danger of opening pill bottles. The adult humans are lucid and will not misuse the medications. Arrgh.
#13 Neo: We’re an over-hanger household as well. Should we take a poll? Nah, I guess not. The topic is really not that attractive. However, I did see an electric TP dispenser once. You just pushed a button and out it came. (actually rolled) Pretty embarrasing though when you don’t know what the button on the box is for and you have to call for assistance! P.S. I couldn’t find where it was plugged in.