Make mine a tall, low-fat, extra hot : Lone Star Times

Make mine a tall, low-fat, extra hot

by Matt Bramanti · 01/22/2007 4:17 pm

Props to the Seattle Times’ Amy Roe, for writing the most compelling lede in the history of print journalism:

In a short, sheer, baby-doll negligee and coordinated pink panties, Candice Law is dressed to work at a drive-through espresso stand in Tukwila, and she is working it.

At Best Friend Espresso in Kenmore, baristas go thigh-high. An elevated service window offers customers a nearly full-length view of pretty, young baristas — some of them high-school students — in short skirts, tank tops and high heels.

Here comes the buzzkill from a guy whose wife was obviously standing next to him during the interview:

But Best Friend has made some enemies. Jeff Marshall, whose wife, Wendy, owns the gift shop Chalet Cadeau, said the couple moved their business from Kenmore to Kirkland last month in frustration over neighboring Best Friend Espresso. Marshall said the business caused traffic problems and drove customers away from the gift shop.

Apparently Marshall’s ceramic bride-and-groom bobbleheads were no match for Best Friend’s hot, tasty delights.

“It’s disgusting,” he said of the stand. “It’s an undesirable business from a community that’s trying to sell itself as a family-oriented community.”

Got that? It’s so undesirable, it’s backing up traffic.
Roe wraps up the piece with the most compelling last sentence in the history of print journalism:

“I like the idea of Saran Wrap Saturday,” she mused. “Now they’ve got those colored Saran Wraps. Dude, they could totally make a cute outfit.”

Totally, dude.

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Comments

27 Responses to “Make mine a tall, low-fat, extra hot”

RickG on January 22nd, 2007 at 4:20 pm

Didn’t The Total Woman suggest wives meet their husbands at the door in something similar to the saran wrap thingies?
bigmck on January 22nd, 2007 at 4:24 pm

I wonder how many of Jeff Marshalls business lunches are at “Hooters”?
sunny on January 22nd, 2007 at 5:55 pm

That sounds like my order for a man!
Neocon on January 22nd, 2007 at 6:47 pm

Sunny

I just want to know where the men servers are? Surely they can tell when a woman enters the drive-thru and places an order and a gorgeous hunk should deliver the goods!
nz-texas on January 22nd, 2007 at 7:29 pm

Don’t worry about your men servers Neo - I can just see this type of coffeehouse in the Montrose area - puts a whole new twist on frappuccino a latte grande mocha or whatever you call em
sunny on January 22nd, 2007 at 8:08 pm

lol…I want a desirable, tall, low-fat, extra-hot…nothing family-oriented about here at my place!
Neocon on January 22nd, 2007 at 8:31 pm

nz & Sunny

But this is discrimination! I want my male servers! /Stamps food and sulks!
Neocon on January 22nd, 2007 at 8:32 pm

oops, should have been “stamps fooT and sulks!” Skinny fingers!
nz-texas on January 22nd, 2007 at 8:43 pm

imagine how long until a guy sues because he is discriminated against by not hiring him.
Neocon on January 22nd, 2007 at 8:51 pm

nz-texas

Imagine how long it takes for a female customer to sue for discrimination (federal charge)! Unfortunately, men think with one or the other (you know what I mean) and seldom are they in the same place!
sunny on January 22nd, 2007 at 8:57 pm

I didn’t know that men had another, Neo!!!
nz-texas on January 22nd, 2007 at 8:59 pm

So, we need multiple drive thru lines/windows - one for men, one for women, one for transgendered - what about a line for gay - and of course another window/line for family outings
Neocon on January 22nd, 2007 at 9:11 pm

nz-texas

No, one line. When the voice on the intercom is female, then change the server to male. When it is male, change to female server. Pretty simple! Only problem is when there is no business coming through and the female ane male servers get interested in each other!
Neocon on January 22nd, 2007 at 9:16 pm

Sunny,

To put it bluntly, men think with their heads or with their male anatomy. Rarely does the blood flow to both places. So its either brain or….never mind!
Neocon on January 22nd, 2007 at 9:17 pm

Of course, if you are gay or lesbian, the who scenerio changes…..
nz-texas on January 22nd, 2007 at 9:24 pm

#14 - sounds to me like you want a coffee from a … (not the brain…) - and you say men can’t multi task!
sunny on January 22nd, 2007 at 9:25 pm

I think I’ll just stay home, cook and serve myself! Seems a lot easier in the long run!
nz-texas on January 22nd, 2007 at 9:29 pm

we could have an intelligent guy at the window - or a hunk as Neo puts it. Your choice
nz-texas on January 22nd, 2007 at 9:30 pm

how’s a Queensland summer doing anyway - off topic - but saw that brown snakes doing a bit of damage with the drought
Neocon on January 22nd, 2007 at 9:32 pm

Not too much difference between a bimbo and a hunk if you want my opinion.
nz-texas on January 22nd, 2007 at 9:39 pm

#20 - yet once again, sex sells
Neocon on January 22nd, 2007 at 9:45 pm

nz-texas

nails it, again!
sunny on January 22nd, 2007 at 9:57 pm

#19..Nz-texas…It’s been a great summer until the last couple of days when the humidity has struck…but that is to be expected. It’s been pouring rain here the past hour or so, which is great. Touch wood, I’ve not seen any snakes so far…I think we’ve had enough rain over summer up here on the mountain to keep them at bay.
nz-texas on January 22nd, 2007 at 10:06 pm

finally reached 29 - for one day and then back to the teens
vlou on January 22nd, 2007 at 10:19 pm

Most men have an agenda of 2 only things…food and sex (not necessarily in that order).
nz-texas on January 22nd, 2007 at 10:25 pm

#25
Jeff Foxworthy - “I want a beer, and I want to see something naked.”
stogusmaximus on January 23rd, 2007 at 10:07 am

I wonder if I could fit a side stop to Seattle into my morning commute?