Recently, quite a few of our fellow Houstonians have been attempting to cross busy freeways on foot with predictably disastrous results. In view of the epidemic of fatalities, I am calling on Mayor White to institute a new program to deal with the problem.

The proposed Stupid-Ass Pedestrian removal program, SAPClear, would divide the city into several pedestrian zones, and exclusive contracts would be awarded to taxi, bus, and wrecker companies to get walking Houstonians from one side of a busy freeway to the other in a safe, clean, and efficient manner. Our thoroughfares have been crowded with aprehensive street-crossers unable to identify and use an intersection for far too long, and something must be done.

After successfully tackling freeway wrecks, evil smokers, mismatched news racks, jaywalking, and employee compensation, Mayor White should direct his vigorous energies to remedying this terrible blight upon this otherwise world-class city.

That is the question. Remember Houston’s red-light cameras? The money machines have been in operation since last September, spitting out $75 civil citations to Houston vehicle owners whose cars fail to stop on red, even if someone else is driving. It now looks like another attempt will be made in the legislature to ban the devices in the Lone Star State.

The dreams of greedy city governments for a windfall from red light cameras may be about to hit a red light in the Texas Legislature.

State Representative Carl Isett (R-Lubbock) has introduced a bill that would outlaw the use of the devices in Texas, 1200 WOAI news is reporting exclusively today.

Perhaps this effort will be successful. In the meantime, things are not looking too good down at Houston’s red-light camera collection department.

1200 WOAI news reported exclusively last month that there is no enforcement mechanism which requires motorists to actually pay the tickets they receive in the mail from the Arizona based company, and, in fact, the compliance rate in Houston, which installed the cameras last fall, is in many cases no better than 10%.

Ouch. Why the large-scale ignoring of the tickets? A camera-issued citation is a civil fine, with no real penalties for failure to pay. The worst the city can do is turn you over to a collection agency. It seems that quite a few of those vehicle owners who have received one of these citations have discovered this fact and are probably just tossing the toothless ticket in the trash. Of course, this practice is not recommended for a police officer-issued citation, which still carries criminal penalties and involves all that cumbersome “due process” stuff.

There you have it, Houston, another wonderful accomplishment in the tradition of $afeClear, brought to you by the City. And do not forget, it’s all about $afety!

Male residents of this SE Houston suburb were bending over with ease today:

Baytown police have detained a man believed to be involved in the May 2006 kidnapping and rape of a young man as investigators try to determine whether the suspect committed four similar crimes, according to a statement released today.

Investigators said the man in custody is of larger stature than all of his victims.

Whew. No more passing up lucky pennies.

Just for fun, let’s look at various causes of death and compare them to HPV-induced cervical cancer. All figures are from the CDC, as of 2004:

• Alzheimer’s Disease: 65,829
• Suicide: 31,647
• Falls: 18,535
• Parkinson’s Disease: 18,019
• Mouth cancer: 7,712
• Viral hepatitis: 5,392
• Anemias: 4,569
• Intestinal infections: 4,357
• Cervical cancer: 3,806
• Stomach ulcers: 3,770
• Fire/smoke: 3,223

I demand a gravity vaccine!

“Joooooooooooooos!”
In defending himself against justified allegations of anti-Semitism, peanut farmer-turned-Palestinian flack Jimmy Carter… well, he blamed the Jews. They’re scheming money-grubbers, says Jimmy:

Jimmy Carter has accused an international Jewish human rights group of “falsehood and slander” for launching a petition that resulted in thousands of signatures being sent to the former president in protest of his controversial book about the Israeli-Palestinian conflict.

“I don’t believe Simon Wiesenthal would have resorted to falsehood and slander to raise funds,” Carter wrote last month in a handwritten letter to the head of the human rights center that bears the name of the late Holocaust survivor and Nazi hunter. The petition does not require payment to be sent, though Carter’s letter suggests it is being used as a fundraising tool.

Wow.

LGF has Carter’s handwritten letter. Nice penmanship, disgusting content

UPDATE: Rabbi Heir responds.

This is not your father’s Oldsmobile.

Participants, check your email. I’ve paired everyone up with a specific trooper, and sent out emails with the details. Now let’s get those packages and letters going!

In yet another case of I can’t believe this is happening, the City of Houston is studying the conversion of the Gus Wortham golf course into a 150-acre soccer complex.

Shouts of “goal!” could replace “fore!” at the venerable Gus Wortham golf course under a plan to provide a permanent home for the Dynamo soccer team and keep it in Houston.

Why is it that our leaders continue to focus on entertainment instead of infrastructure? Or crime?

Icken said it’s too early to discuss how the city, perhaps in conjunction with the team, would finance a soccer stadium. Possible funding sources include city sales tax revenue, private donations and money from the team itself.

Money from the team itself? What a novel thought.

“Where we are is, can the city come up with a package of options that compete well with those other places?” Icken said. “I can’t answer that question yet.”

Who cares?

If you’re in the mood for some quality audio storytelling, complete with squishy sound effects, have a listen to LST’s buddy Laurence Simon.

If you like what you hear (skip the first 36:00 of intro crap), register and vote for him for best story. Help him slug it out. Because if you do, and he wins, I’m gonna get free beer at the next BrewHaHa.

Hell yeah.

Dan’s on right now. Click here to listen.

State Rep. John Zerwas, the Texas House’s only practicing physician, has weighed in on the HPV debate. As a medical pro, he’s focusing on the public health implications:

However, Governor Perry’s mandating the vaccination of 11 year-old girls against the Human Papillomavirus (HPV), a sexually-transmitted disease, to me represents a radical and unwise shift away from the state’s current policies for vaccinating children.

To start, though HPV does present some serious health risks for women if left untreated, it does not present the same level of public health hazard as do the measles, mumps, rubella, and whooping cough. There is a reason why vaccines for these other illnesses are mandated: they are contagious diseases that can be transmitted by virtue of an infected child walking in a classroom and breathing. As in real estate, location matters here because the HPV cannot be transmitted without sexual activity – and, therefore, does not constitute a public health threat to Texas’ schoolchildren while in the classroom.

It follows, then, that I cannot support extending the mandated childhood immunization program as preferred by the Governor. Such a prescription, in my view, will only serve to undermine public trust in the existing, and badly needed, childhood immunization efforts.

There are so many good reasons to oppose a mandatory HPV vaccine, on the grounds of personal liberty, economics, insider dealings, and now public health. Good work, Doc!

Normally I don’t pay much attention to the editorial pages of newspapers because they are so biased to the left side of the political spectrum. In light of the very recently elected governor of Texas’s shift to the left in his State of the State address yesterday, I decided to see if the newspapers were falling in line this morning.

Austin American Statesman: Perry serious about investing in future

The best part of Gov. Rick Perry’s State of the State speech to the Legislature on Tuesday was his proposal to invest $1.7 billion in “new money” — that is, over current spending levels — in higher education, with an increase of $360 million in financial aid.

The governor seems to be trying to move a little toward the political center, perhaps in preparation for a future national candidacy. At times during his speech Tuesday, he got more applause from Democrats than from his fellow Republicans, such as when he called for putting more resources into prisoner rehabilitation.

Beaumont Enterprise: No opinion published this morning.

Dallas Morning News: The News weighs in with two editorials:

Let the Debates Begin: Perry’s lottery plan deserves consideration

It’s been a pleasant surprise, then, to see somewhat of a Perry transformation since his re-election last year. Yesterday he spoke of making investments to “lift people up out of poverty” – the type of rhetoric that would have caused lawmakers to keel over in the aisles in years past.

Linking higher ed funds to accountability is good

When you tally these, the governor’s striking a good bargain. He’s giving schools more money in return for greater accountability.

The beauty behind the governor’s ideas is, he’s forcing legislators to look anew at colleges, which hasn’t happened since Austin let universities set their own tuition rates.

El Paso Times: Perry paints picture of prosperity

Health insurance isn’t affordable for many Texans, and we see that problem multiplied in El Paso and along the border. In fact, a 2005 study by the Census Bureau showed that 25 percent of Texans had no health insurance.

Perry’s speech was upbeat and painted the welcome picture of a Texas poised to take advantage of an era of prosperity.

Houston Chronicle: No opinion published this morning. But a ton of wacky astronaut coverage.

San Antonio Express News: No opinion published this morning.

So there you have it folks. Yes, the governor’s campaign to move to the left is working as planned - liberal papers are supporting him and giving him positive coverage. Make no mistake, he doesn’t care about traditional Republicans because they proved in the last election that they will support a Republican regardless of his track record. No, he is vying for that national spotlight and recognizes the trend in Texas towards the Democrat Party. He’s switched his party affiliation before and he’ll not hesitate to turncoat again; he’s doing it this time wearing the Republican colors.

Conservative Texans had better stop whining and start doing if they are to see any part of their platform maintained. And stop voting Republican just ’cause.

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