This is why restaurants do dry runs before opening day:

Houston firefighters hauled a few wheelbarrows of toasty insulation from the kitchen of a new restaurant this evening. Firefighters said the proprietors of Sofia’s, at the intersection of Milam and Congress on Market Square, were testing one of their new ovens.

I’d say the results were mixed.

One day after the entire nation starts gawking at your cross-country-diaper-wearing-tawdry-love-triangle-cat-fight, Anna Nicole Smith drops dead under mysterious circumstances in Florida.

And the brains of cable-network producers explode.

UPDATED–As of 6 PM it’s 2:1 “Anna Nicole Smith” over “Lisa Nowak Astronaut” over at GoogleFights.com.

Here’s something you won’t see on a Re/Max commercial:

A potential homebuyer inspecting a home damaged by Hurricane Rita over a year ago found the remains of the 51-year-old owner inside, authorities said today.

Larry Euglon, whose body was found on Jan. 27, apparently was a loner and foul play was not suspected, Justice of the Peace Vi McGinnis told the Beaumont Enterprise. Autopsy results were pending.

I want to know whether the guy bought the house.

Ah, justice:

Jurors this afternoon found the daughter of Mayor Bill White not guilty of driving while intoxicated.

Precinct 5 Deputy Constable Nicholas Derkowski, who had been on the force for about two months when he arrested White, testified she smelled of alcohol, slurred her speech, stumbled and failed sobriety tests. She declined to take a breath test.

Boy, with that kind of shaky evidence, I’m surprised this one even went to trial.

Apparently the standard for conviction requires that you have a neon sign on your car reading “I AM DRUNK.”

Mail call:

Authorities evacuated a state office building today after a suspicious powder was found in a letter sent to the governor’s office.

David Bailey, homeland security division chief for the Austin Fire Department, said nine workers from the mailroom where the letter was processed were quarantined until tests could be run to determine whether the powder was toxic.

In the meantime, Gov. Perry has ordered mandatory statewide vaccination against anthrax, cholera, plague, hemorrhagic fever and babypowderitis.

Yet again, the Chron displays its proclivity for presenting error as fact. Here’s the headline from an AP story about the convicted Border Patrol agents:

Report: Drug agents lied, destroyed evidence

They were border patrol agents, not DEA.

A spokeswoman for U.S. Attorney Johnny Sutton, whose office prosecuted the case and who has been widely criticized for pursing the agents and not the drug dealer shot, declined to comment.

Pursing? How about pursuing?

“So far it looks to me like Agents Ramos and Compean may not have followed proper procedure following the shooting, which at most should have resulted in their suspension from the force, but not criminal procedure,” Rep. John Culberson, D-Houston, said in a statement issued this afternoon.

Culberson is, of course, a Republican.

Two Texas congressmen said the office of inspector general for Homeland Security told them the report would say that the agets planned to “go out and shoot Mexicans” on that day.

I have no idea what an aget is.

At some point you have to wonder: Does anyone at the Chron even read this stuff before it goes out?

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