From the website News of the Weird:

Earlier this year, [a sex-toy company] announced it would stop selling its remote-controlled Love Bug 2 personal vibrator in Cyprus after Cypriot military officials complained that the device’s signals were interfering with army radio transmissions.

What exactly goes on in the Cyprus army?

More importantly, which LST reader will have the C.O.W. on this story?

In this time of the earliest Presidential campaigning ever, the attack machine is even getting a head start on non-candidates. Though Fred Dalton Thompson has yet to enter the presidential race, the blue print to attack him has already taken shape.

According to the much viewed The Politico website, there is a clear outline of how to hurt Thompson. Some arguments to expect:

– Lobbyist: Thompson made nearly $1.3 million over about two decades of lobbying both before and after his eight-year Senate stint . . ..
…
Some of Thompson’s clients could prove tricky to explain, from a British reinsurance company facing billions of dollars in asbestos claims to deposed Haitian President Jean-Bertrand Aristide.
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– Trial lawyer: Before Thompson won his Senate seat, published reports said his private law practice handled personal injury cases and defended people accused of white-collar crimes. And in the Senate, he opposed some legislation intended to rein in escalating jury verdicts and attorneys’ fees.
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– Campaign finance reformer: Thompson was among the leading Republican backers of the sweeping package of campaign finance reforms commonly known as McCain-Feingold.
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– Centrist senator: Though the influential American Conservative Union scored Thompson’s Senate career voting record at 86 percent, some of the votes on which he strayed from the GOP fold could prove problematic for ardent partisans.

For instance, he backed a 1998 bill that would have established a temporary farm worker program and a 1996 bill to increase the minimum wage. And he voted against one of the two impeachment charges brought against President Clinton in 1999.
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– Abortion-rights supporter: Every time Thompson got the chance in the Senate, he voted with those who oppose abortion rights. But the social conservatives for whom abortion is a litmus test scrutinize every bit of a politician’s record — and Thompson’s provides some fodder for opponents to question the depth of his opposition to abortion rights.

On candidate surveys in 1994 and 1996, he answered that he favored abortion always being legal in the first trimester of pregnancy and opposed an amendment to the U.S. Constitution “protecting the sanctity of human life.”

Undoubtedly, Thompson will have a carefully crafted response to each charge (he has already said McCain-Feingold did not work out as expected and has now advocated abolishing contribution limits entirely), and, undoubtedly, his opponents (GOP and Dem) will have many more bombs to lob in his direction.

The question is: Will conservatives be ultimately convinced that Thompson is not the “right” man after all?

Just when you need it most, along comes a story that lifts your spirits and gives you encouragement.

Daniela Villarreal rests against her mother and closes her eyes.

She’s tired but happy.

She knows she has reached her goal.

The 10-year-old Rio Grande City girl began a fund-raiser to earn $25,000 for a VeinViewer machine for the Vannie E. Cook Jr. Children’s Cancer and Hematology Clinic in McAllen.

Within a month, Daniela had achieved her objective.

And a special objective it was.

The VeinViewer is a machine that uses infrared light to create an image of a patient’s vein, allowing physicians and nurses to locate veins without unnecessary sticking. Officials say the machine, set to be presented today, will be the first of its kind in the Rio Grande Valley.

Why was this machine so important to Daniela? Because she has leukemia and knows what it feels like to have needle sticks in your arms.

The need for the machine is apparent from bandages that adorn Daniela’s arm.

“These doctors and nurses are great, but it is hard to draw blood — her veins are so small from the chemotherapy,” Daniela’s mother, Dolly Villarreal, said at the clinic Tuesday. Daniela had come in for a routine checkup.

Unfortunately, barring the supernatural, Daniela will not benefit from the new machine as much as other patients.

After four years of battling leukemia, Daniela’s own cancer is no longer in remission.

She is in palliative care — a form of hospice treatment.

Although she won’t benefit from the VeinViewer as much as other patients, she is happy because that was part of her goal, too — helping others.

Reading past articles about her, you can see that she has had a fighter’s mentality since she was diagnosed with this rare form of leukemia.

The condition is very rare. Daniela was classified as one of the 19 or so children in the entire world who had this kind of paralysis due to leukemia.

“When Daniela was first diagnosed with leukemia, she asked me why God was doing this to her. I told her that God never does anything bad, and you need to find something good out of all of this. She told me that if she hadn’t gotten leukemia, she wouldn’t have met all of the great people at the clinic,” says Dolly.

Thank you, Daniela, for who you are and the difference you have chosen to make with your life.

Who said Democrats have no sense of humor?

One Congressman, deriding immediate past (and relatively anti-American) leaders of Germany and France, had this quip about former Deutschland Chancellor Gerhard Schroeder:

He said when the United States asked Schroeder to support its decision to go to war in Iraq “he told us where to go.”

“I referred to him as a political prostitute, now that he’s taking big checks from (Russian President Vladimir) Putin. But the sex workers in my district objected, so I will no longer use that phrase,” Lantos said.

But about that loveable Jacques Chirac, Lantos was more somber:

Lantos said Chirac “should go down to the Normandy beaches. He should see those endless rows of white marble crosses and stars of David representing young Americans who gave their lives for the freedom of France.”

A German official took offense at the remarks, saying they insulted not only Schroeder but the entire German people.

Congressman Lantos likely doesn’t care about the opinion of some German functionary. But do you wonder why you hear such words coming from a Democrat? I did, too, until I read this:

Lantos was born in Budapest, Hungary, and sent to a Nazi labor camp when he was 16. He is the only survivor of the Holocaust ever to have served in Congress.

Perspective makes all the difference, doesn’t it?

Are you tired after your journey across the desert? Exhausted after a little swim across the river? Bored to death, sitting around twiddling your thumbs in your new home? Just click to go to welcometousa.gov, the President’s latest, greatest way to get you to assimilate into your new community.

On behalf of the President of the United States and the American people, we welcome you to this great nation. The United States has benefited from the contributions of immigrants since its founding more than 200 years ago, and we are certain that our newest immigrants will continue this storied legacy.

Yes, welcome! Need information on benefits? Click here.

Depending on your immigration status, length of time in the United States, and income, you may be eligible for some federal benefit programs. Government assistance programs can be critically important to the well-being of some immigrants and their families. Frequently, however, there is a lack of information about how to access such benefits. Benefit programs can be complicated and you may be given misleading information about how they operate.

Now, we wouldn’t want you to be confused about getting those benes, that’s why you risked life and limb to get here, right? But there is no confusion about education for your children!

To ensure all children are prepared to succeed, the United States provides free public education. The links below provide information on the public school system, important programs such as Head Start, the Parent Teacher Association, and other topics related to childhood education.

And you needn’t worry about complicated laws, there are low-cost and free legal services for you!

When help is needed on an immigration issue, it is important that immigrants can turn to a trustworthy and legitimate source of legal assistance. If you are unable to pay for a lawyer, there are some low cost or free assistance options available.

Good grief, Charlie Brown! Your tax dollars at work. Thank you, Mr. Presidente.

I expect to have more to say about all this at some point in the future.

Not unlike a young love that (however doomed from the start you still feel some fondness for), it’s hard not to have mixed emotions. If nothing else, it’s another reminder that I’m not officially “young” any more.

For now, my analysis will consist of these two simple facts–

1. Annual tuition is currently up to $27,817 dollars per student;
2. All indications are that the intellectual and campus idiocy I experienced there in the early 1990’s has continued unabated.

It turns out there really is a limited supply of people willing to spend (or go into debt) to the tune of over $100k for this type of nonsense.

I suspect that Antioch College will somehow manage to come back, in some form or fashion.

But I’m deeply pessimistic that it can ever make the fundamental changes necessary to truly flourish, or become the thing it once was (circa 1940-1960) or could have been (absent the destructive radicalism of the 1970’s hard Left).

UPDATED FUN TRIVIA FACT–It is all coming back to me now, like a long-repressed nightmare.

True fact–one of my professors at Antioch is responsible for teaching Michael Moore how to operate his first film camera.

I suspect I’ll recall more of these.

The pro amnesty folks are pulling out all the stops in their attempt to revive Teddy’s legalization bill.

Cardinal Roger Mahony and Spanish radio personality El Cucuy De La Manana were scheduled to join forces on Wednesday, kicking off a grass-roots campaign to revive immigration reform, according to KNBC news.

The Dreams Across America train tour was scheduled to leave Los Angeles’ Union Station after a 1 p.m. news confrence [sic].

That’s right, they are going to try an old-fashioned train ride through the heartland to convince folks of the need to immediately legalize illegal aliens. You’d think that the good Cardinal would have other things to do, given his real estate sell off program and other problems. At least he’s enlisted some help.

Radio personality Eddie “Piolín” Sotelo (”Piolín” is Spanish for “Tweety Bird”) is also participating. According to KNBC’s Natasha Ghoneim, Sotelo will head a motorcade across the country, attempting to gather one million signatures in favor of immigration reform.

Yup, Tweety Bird is going to gather up a million signatures to give to politicians. Time to light up the phone lines again, surely Tweety Bird can’t outflank conservatives. Or, perhaps we’d better be wary:

Tweety is, for the most part, a good-natured character happily spending life in his cage or a nest. However, when a cat or other adversary threatens him, he can become downright malicious and devious, even kicking his enemy when he’s down.

Courtesy AP:

Japanese are staying cool as a cucumber this summer with “Pepsi Ice Cucumber” a new soda based on the crisp green gourd.

The soft drink, which hit stores here on Tuesday, doesn’t actually have any cucumber in it but has been artificially flavored to resemble “the refreshing taste of a fresh cucumber,” said Aya Takemoto, spokeswoman of Japan’s Pepsi distributor, Suntory Ltd.

I guess it isn’t much weirder than Root Beer, if you think about it. I’d be willing to give it a try at least.

Especially if I needed to wash down a steaming-hot plate of Instant Jew’s Ear Fungus.

[h/t: Israellycool]

Add a bowl of fried foreskins and I’m good to go.

UPDATED–Who knew?

There is a whole group of colourful, shiny fungi, known as Jelly fungi. The Jew’s Ear Fungus is one such Jelly Fungi, and is found growing out of tree trunks and branches. The visible growth looks like little human ears.

And why is it known as Jew’s Ears Fungus? Myth and legend link this fungus with Judas, who supposedly hanged himself to death, from an elder tree, after betraying Jesus Christ. As a result, the tree became known as the Judas tree. This type of tree often has these little Jelly fungi sprouting out of it, which became known as Judas’s Ear. Over time, the name gradually changed to the similar-sounding Jew’s Ear.

It is a tasty fungus, and is popular in Japanese and Chinese food.

You can even buy the fungus of Jew’s ears online.

I particularly like this ad, which contains the following photograph:

In the radio version of this spot, the little girl sings…

Here Mr. Jew Man,
I bring you this hot plate of your Ear fungus,
Enjoy it’s Jew-cy Jew-ces,
Please don’t kill me and drink my blood!

I should probably stop digging now.

UPDATED–Fasternu426 delivers nicely.

Keep ‘em coming– lsteditors AT gmail dot com.

(click pic for story)

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