Chronically Screwy
by David Benzion · 07/11/2007 10:54 amDon’t be surprised if when Texas Governor Dan Patrick’s Truth and Reconciliation Commission is assembled in the year 2014 and the editors of the Houston Chronicle are frog-marched into the chambers to answer for their High Crimes of Liberality, three key pieces of evidence form the basis of the proceedings.
- Lucas Wall’s infamous article on the death of Leroy Sandoval in Iraq;
- A copy of the Chron editorial board’s “secret but accidentally posted on the web” pro-rail editorial memo; AND now…
- This morning’s expose on the imminent threat to low-cost collegiate pre-marital sex, “Higher birth control costs sting students“.
Exhibit A–the lede paragraph.
Facing steep increases in the price of birth control, many Houston-area college students are weighing whether to shell out several hundred more dollars each year, switch medications or just go without oral contraceptives.
Gee, those are tough decisions to make. Imagine how complicated things would get if they also had to weigh whether or not to just stop having sex. Thank goodness that’s not a option these Houston-area college students have to worry about clouding their judgment.
Just how terrible is the crisis faced by frisky co-eds?
Prices have tripled at universities around the country, including Houston, because of a change in the Medicaid rebate law that discourages pharmaceutical companies from offering big discounts on medications to college health centers.
Starting last week, the most popular oral contraceptive at the University of Houston’s health center, Ortho Tri-Cyclen Lo, sold for $35 for a monthly pack, compared with the previous $10.
The price of being able to engage in pre-marital sex without risk of pregnancy sky-rocketing a full $300 per year! Oh, the humanity!
It gets worse.
Before this year, college health centers could buy contraceptives and other drugs at nominal prices from pharmaceutical companies. But the Deficit Reduction Act of 2005, which went into effect in January, imposes a disincentive for companies to sell discounted drugs by requiring those that do so to pay more to participate in Medicaid.
Damn Deficit Reduction Act of 2005… who do these people think they are, trying to reduce the federal deficit anyway… WHAT IS IT ABOUT OUR NEED TO HAVE FEDERALLY-SUBSIDIZED PREGNANCY-FREE SEX YOU PIN-HEADS IN CONGRESS JUST CAN’T UNDERSTAND?!?!
Pissed off yet? Just wait.
The law does not target contraceptives specifically, and some policy wonks say its effect on college health centers was inadvertent. But pharmaceutical companies tended to sell only birth control at deep discounts to colleges, partly to develop loyal customers.
By all means, let’s add pharmaceutical companies trying to develop a loyal customer base of college-educated skanks to the list of powerful corporate interests whose pain I’m supposed to feel. Get in line boys, right behind the credit card companies that hand out plastic to every freshman class like–well, like condoms–and then cry to the feds when they suffer high non-payment rates.
For sheer jaw-dropping “I can’t believe I’m reading this”-ness however, you must meet Ms. Daisy Rios. Emphasis’ in bold added by LST.
Daisy Rios, a senior at UH, left the health center empty-handed after learning that her formerly $10-per-month pills now cost $35. Because of warnings from the clinic, she knew the increase was imminent, but she still felt sticker shock when it kicked in, she said.
So she had been warned about something and knew about it, but was still in “shock when it kicked in.” By all means, this is someone who ought to be having pre-marital sex.
But that’s not all.
“That was just a little too much to pay for at that time,” said Rios, 22, who lives with her parents and holds a work-study job during the school year. She still had a two-week supply of pills left, she said, so she had some time to decide whether to purchase another pack.
Daisy’s solution is real simple– just go ask Dad for the money. (We hope someone records that conversation and posts it on YouTube.)
But what about all the unmarried horn-dogs not lucky enough to still be living at home?
Always trying to play a positive role in the community, LST would like to offer a few valuable pocket-book tips for horny undergrads faced with the burden of scrounging up $300 more bucks a year to avoid getting pregnant.
- OPTION ONE– Put a “tip jar” next to your bed. Ask your partners to throw a few bucks in for maintenance and upkeep. Maybe hold a “Begathon” twice a year; works for us.
- OPTION TWO– Charge a toll. Inform all potential partners “no pay, no play.” Trust me ladies–they’ll pay.
- OPTION THREE– Congestion pricing. Sure, commissioner’s court abandoned the concept for Westpark, but that doesn’t mean it can’t work for you! Charge more on Saturday night, for freshman or to infrequent bathers. One good weekend with a visiting chess team could pay your way in birth-control pills for the rest of the year.
LoneStarTimes.com– If it feels good, blog it.
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Great post DB.
Also, in order to make up that steep $25/month so you don’t get pregnant, how about cutting back on booze, clubbing, cigarettes, jewelry, cellphone accessories, makeup, clothes, etc.?
The world is absurd.
You wonder why I shake my head™
Ditto DB:
The Librical has outdone themselves again! Of course, nothing they say/print surprises me anymore.
Shakey: Calm down. Please don’t break your neck! It’s not worth it!
That was worth every minute of the read! Classic.
Great analysis. It speaks volumes that the article never even hints at the possibility of avoiding pre-marital sex.
How much is a sack of weed? How much is a night at a club? I bet it’s more than $35.00…
Not upppin’-da booger can be done for free, with the added benefit of no side effects. IMHO
Too damn funny. You really need to get a blog, Benzion.
Frog Marched?
I thoroughly enjoyed reading this piece. However, there are girls out there that take bc pills in order to regulate their periods. I know because I was one of them. Unless you have had multiple “surprises” in the middle of class when you are wearing white, you can’t imagine the embarassment!
Ah, but y’all are asking that everyone indulging in pre-marital sex do so responsibly and, my gosh, we can’t EXPECT such a thing! We need the gummint to protect ourselves from ourselves, subsidize our slackerness, and cover our butts when we screw-up (pun intended). I mean, isn’t that what the gummint is for? To serve our every need. desire, and fantasy? Ain’t THAT in the Constitution?…Oh, wait a sec. What’s that you say? No? It isn’t? …uhm…nevermind then….
On a serious note - your suggested options are quite wonderful, Benz. Truly, genious! I especially liked the infrequent bather surcharge. LOL!
Smacktle makes chess club analogy in 4,,,3,,,2,,,
If you’re gonna be a Cheap-Skank-Boozy-Floozy may I suggest you collect a small stipend from the dude that’s gettin’ ready to mount you.
I never got on a carnival ride thinking I didn’t have to cough up some coin for the thrill.
#7. There are many of us.
I don’t really like the notion that if you’re on birth control you’re immediately a whore or prostitute.
Did everyone that reads this blog stay chaste until marriage?
To clarify - I have always believed that if you’re old enough to have sex, you’re old enough to have a baby. Period. Bottom line. If you aren’t old enough to have a baby - well than you aren’t old enough to have sex.
I also disagree with the fact that birth control should be cheap / free. I would like them [complaining co-eds] to look at the cost of a child month to month. Because I know that many of these women will simply not purchase the BC and continue to have sex without it. And then you’re just playing roulette.
Hummm $35…. I suppose it would be all right to put my phone number here so that I could help some
co-eds meet their monthly expenses. Maybe we could work out some type of time-share arrangement……..Just call and ask for yours truly at BR-549
They can always fall back on the old standby, abortion. That would be a LOT cheaper.
I don’t know what condoms cost, but maybe they would be cheaper, and the guy could and should provide them, and they would also double as preventives against diseases. Getting pregnant is only one possible consequence of sex - what about staying healthy?
Bottom line, and the point I think that Benzene is making, is that the end of cheap birth control is not an unmitigated disaster, and there are alternatives - give up a tiny bit and pay up for the BC, or maybe, just maybe, ditch the mentality that you need to be having sex all the time anyway.
“I don’t know what condoms cost…”
http://wickedstageact2.typepad.com/life_on_the_wicked_stage_/WindowsLiveWriter/AncientCathedralHeldTogetherWithDuctTape_12787/duct-tape%5B3%5D.jpg
Roll of 100mph tape (duct tape) 3″x50 yds about $3.50. Tape that thang up so them boys can’t get at it……
Man, if only we had a medical system like Cuber….
David, great post! Ummmmmm I think charging to help with the cost is ……. prostitution, but I could be wrong. Do any of you think this will make these young adults stop and think before they have sex? Would be nice if it would.
American Woman — Are you saying that we have to go Dutch-Treat on the meal or it is…………???
$35.00 for a name brand drug ain’t too bad on most insurances these days. Those who complain about this are gonna feel a real hurtin when they enter the real world.
#20 I have the solution, barter. A new meaning to the term, take it out in trade.
Actually, now that I think about it … if they used the generic drug Tri-Nessa instead of Othro-Tri … I bet the generic is $10 dollars.
PS - The cost of children v. the cost of birth control is relevant because bc only prevents births. Health and STDs are side issues. You assume again, that every woman that is on BC is sleeping around. If these women were previously only using BC (even cheaper BC) and not using condoms, they were as unhealthy before the article as they will be after.
Great point duhmoose. I’d like to show them my monthly prescription drug bill.
When I was in law school, we had a brilliant and quirky (and, unfortunately, now deceased) constitutional law professor who, when discussing the Supreme Court birth control and sexuality cases, asked: “Is there a constitutional right to unbridled premarital sex?”
The answer then was clearly “no.”
Now, just over 20 years later, it appears the answer may be “yes.”
What a principled society we have, yes?
Does anyone actually think dan Patrick will be governor? He isn’t exactly wowing everone as a Senator.
Yes gadboy– I REALLY believe that Dan Patrick is going to be Governor of Texas in 2014 and establish a Truth and Reconciliation Commission that will put the editors of the Houston Chronicle on trial for liberal bias, and they will be frog-marched into the chamber, and then you will see how WRONG you were and I will say HA HA I told you so gadboy you were wrong and I was right and then you will cry like a little girl and I will laugh and say IN YOUR FACE! and Edd Hendee will be President and build a gigantic wall of beef along the border with Mexico.
You’ll see!!!!!
I wouldn’t mess with Benzene, gadboy. His run-on sentence got longer even since I logged in. If you presist he shall taunt you a second time.
DB Don’t forget…Edd will also be serving Chicken Fried Steak at his restaurant, LST contributors will show up in force for a huge Brew Ha Ha and a few mint julips!
BTW, would it be unpatriotic of me to slice off selected cuts once that happens?
I would vote for him. In all seriousness, I believe he has a shot…
Will that be raw beef or cooked to our taste beef? I think it would be wonderful for Dan to be governor. Hope that’s one of his goals.
27,
Okay, sounds plausible.
Mint jewlips?
Please clarify.
Sure, Mint jewlips. That’s what you drink to accompany that ear fungus stuff that’s such popular cuisine in oriental cultures.
It even comes in instant form.
Yes folks, it’s just that easy.
Just set it and forget it.
There once was a girl at State U.
Who simply did not know what to do!
“The new cost of sex
Makes my life more complex!”
Moaned the blonde who hadn’t a clue.
“Try abstinence,” her best friend suggested.
Said the blonde “That idea remains so untested!”
“My knees-if I close them -
Would leave my love life frozen!
And I can’t stand to be cold!” she protested.
Come on guys - where is the boy’s name calling, etc. Why just the girls - are the girls all alone in this? And why do most of you choose to believe that any girl that takes BC is a slut? Do you know these girls? Do you know that they all sleep around? Do you know that none of them take BC for other than “sex”. Open your eyes - a vast majority of college age girls are not virgins any more. This is whether we like it or not. So if you are prepared to call your own daughters sluts if they ever have sex before marriage I would be careful of the characterizations.
I repeat my post from another thread:
I don’t think the fact that some women take bc for hormonal problems is a valid argument. My sister was victim of terrible hormonal issues for years, and was actually afraid of bleeding to death at times. I know what you’re saying. However, the number of women who use bc for medical reasons is dwarfed by the sheer volume of women who simply see it as part of a recreational activity.
And add: I agree, it takes two to tango. Women who open themselves up to these guys also sleep with all of their partners’ past partners. It seems that this is a particularly sore topic for you, and I’m sorry if you are offended, but I do appreciate the rather off-color humor which seems to take the edge off a rather serious topic. This is a serious situation, and I don’t think I’ve seen anyone name call except you - and it’s probably because, for some reason, this topic hits a nerve.
Let’s just hope that the rise in bc will stem the tide of totally recreational use of sex, if only for a little bit. Using sex for anything other than the expression of a fulfillment of a loving and committed relationship degrades the gift and the partners involved.
But I’m not holding my breath.
I don’t think the fact that some women take bc for hormonal problems is a valid argument.
I completely agree. Those are exceptions to the rule that birth control pills are taken for… (wait for it) … birth control!
But really, it doesn’t matter whether it’s for contraception, or for some medical condition: pay for it your damn self.
I didn’t realize that Dan was suffering from deep deep depression that he was going to run for Governor
D.B. horn dog? have you never been one or what? Can i ask what you did for BC in your younger days?Did you ever HAVE a girlfriend or were most of your dates the blow up type? (rhino) Have some respect for the women, you sexist.