Listening to all of the ranting about the feared North American Union, from the right and left, from people spending time in life as talk radio hosts, from the World Net Daily’s and Infowars.com’s of the world and the ubiquitous Ron Paul acolytes is getting very old, very boring and very tiring. I’m reminded of a column that Michael Medved put forth last December.

This paranoid and groundless frenzy has been fomented and promoted by a shameless collection of lunatics and losers; crooks, cranks, demagogues and opportunists, who claim the existence of a top secret master plan to join the U.S., Canada and Mexico in one big super-state and to replace the good old Yankee dollar with a worthless new currency called “The Amero.”

Right on. Keep going.

Remember when the same miserable cretins tried to frighten the public over the “UN is taking over our National Parks” garbage? They openly predicted blue helmets (and black helicopters, no doubt) at Yellowstone and Yosemite and Mt. Rainier and….. nothing happened. Northing! The world body hasn’t seized the Sequoias or the Grand Canyon because a few American natural wonders were designated as “World Heritage Sites.”

And going.

Please remember: the hysterics and fringies who now promote the “secret plan” to eliminate the border with Mexico are the same psychotics who for decades suggested that the Council on Foreign Relations and the Bilderbergers and the TriLateral Commission and Bohemian Grove and Skull and Bones and the Rockefellers and the Rothschilds were all working together to make sure that Communism took over the whole world. But then, inconveniently for the conspiracists and Birchers, Ronald Reagan and Maggie Thatcher and Pope John Paul and Lech Walesa forced the Soviet Union into collapse and some of the formerly Commie nations (Poland and Hungary and Czech Republic prominent among them) now count as our closest, most valiant allies, and are members of NATO, in fact..

And, like the Energizer bunny, going.

Please – take careful note of anyone in politics (even some “reputable” US Congressmen) or media who gives even a moment’s credence to the “dangers” of the Security and Prosperity Partnership, or the North American Union, or the Monster Highway. Write down the names of such people, and remember the names. And then when the fraudulent stories have been discredited or simply disappeared (like the brain-dead, laughableY2K scare, or the U.N. National Parks conspiracy, or the concentration camps and black helicopters that were supposed to menace opponents of globalization), or when the tall tales have morphed into some other attempt to paralyze the unsuspecting public with paranoia, please refer once again to the names on your list of fatuous fear-mongers AND TREAT THEM WITH THE DERISION AND CONTEMPT AND DISREGARD THEY SO RICHLY DESERVE.

There now. I feel better. Read the whole thing and you will too.

Why is there so much gender confusion in the world today?

BEIJING - A panda once believed to be male and sent to Japan to breed with a female without success gave birth to twin cubs this week, state media reported Thursday.

Whoops. Turns out that this bear babe was a bit butch.

“Jinzhu was believed to be male owing to her inconspicuous secondary sex characteristic and behavior,” the agency quoted Wei Rongping, assistant director of the reserve’s research center, as saying.

Of course, there was not a lack of trying to figure out the bear’s preferences.

Jinzhu was sent to Japan in 2000 to mate with a female, the report said.

“When the pandas showed complete disinterest, experts decided to turn to artificial insemination, leading to the discovery that Jinzhu had no penis,” it added.

Apparently no one bothered to check very closely before the mating session. These animals are in good hands, are they not? Finally, nearly ten years after the gender-bender bear was born, caretakers appear to have figured out what was going on.

It was not until 2005 that scientists discovered 9-year-old Jinzhu’s ovaries were positioned in the wrong place, and gave her a two-hour operation to make her a “normal girl,” Xinhua said. Jinzhu subsequently mated with a male in March 2007 and gave birth 142 days later, Xinhua said.

Now we have a new, if somewhat confused, panda mother, and a set of panda twins to help keep the species going. But what about the “news behind the news?” The real story here is a sad revelation of male inadequacy.

“The penis of an adult panda is only about 3 centimeters (1.2 inches) long,” which was a possible factor behind the mix-up, Xinhua quoted panda expert Li Deshen as saying.

At last we know the real reason why pandas are so reproductively challenged. Brotha bear got no game. Whatever is a woman to do?

The job of our law enforcement professionals is becoming ever more dangerous as our society strays ever further from the values upon which this country was founded on. In the second shooting of a Sheriff’s Deputy in Broward County, Florida this week, Sgt. Christopher Reyka was killed while investigating suspicious vehicles in the early morning hours today.

“At this point, we believe the deputy exited his vehicle and around the same time one subject exited his vehicle and opened fire on the deputy, firing multiple shots,” Jachles said.

Why not take a moment and tell a law enforcement professional around you how much you appreciate and value their service? And say a prayer for the family of Sgt. Reyka and his friends at the Broward County Sheriff’s office.

So you’re out in the pasture, feeding your horses and along comes a five foot rattler. You pin it down, chop off his head and bend down to pick up your prize.

“When I reached down to pick up the head, it raised around and did a backflip almost, and bit my finger,” Anderson said. “I had to shake my hand real hard to get it to let loose.”

After being released from the hospital, Mr. Anderson was asked what he’d do different the next time.

If another rattlesnake comes along, Anderson said he’ll likely try to kill it again, but said he’ll grab a shovel and bury it right there.

“It still gives me the creeps to think that son-of-a-gun could do that,” he said.

Well, son-of-a-gun, it gives me the creeps too.

Smile, slackers, it’s Friday! 

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