Blood-Stained Wretches Terrorize America : Lone Star Times

Blood-Stained Wretches Terrorize America

by texpat · 01/21/2008 10:36 am

When the New York Times began publishing a series of investigative articles on the violent crime wave allegedly sweeping across America perpetrated by crazed, depraved military veterans, I pointed out on LST, along with many across the blogosphere, the absurdity and folly of such claims. I should have known the perfidious mendacities of The Times would unleash the not inconsiderable powers held by one David Burge, the formidable satirist and hot-rod blogger. Between cleaning carburetors and restoring classic American cars, Burge churns out some of the funniest and decisively deadly wit and commentary on the web. Here are some comments by famous bloggers about the man who blogs and writes as Iowahawk:

Glenn Reynolds of Instapundit
“All I can say to IowaHawk is, ‘We’re not worthy”
Charles Johnson of LGF
“Iowahawk is some kinda damn genius”
Tim Blair
“…more cool than is healthy for any human… he is from deep space”
Thomas Lifson of American Thinker
“Now more than ever. America needs Iowahawk”
Patterico
“…the guy is a comic genius”

Iowahawk begins describing his research project as follows. Read the entire thing:

A Denver newspaper columnist is arrested for stalking a story subject. In Cincinnati, a television reporter is arrested on charges of child molestation. A North Carolina newspaper reporter is arrested for harassing a local woman. A drunken Chicago Sun-Times columnist and editorial board member is arrested for wife beating. A Baltimore newspaper editor is arrested for threatening neighbors with a shotgun. In Florida, one TV reporter is arrested for DUI, while another is charged with carrying a gun into a high school. A Philadelphia news anchorwoman goes on a violent drunken rampage, assaulting a police officer. In England, a newspaper columnist is arrested for killing her elderly aunt.

Unrelated incidents, or mounting evidence of that America’s newsrooms have become a breeding ground for murderous, drunk, gun-wielding child molesters? Answers are elusive, but the ever-increasing toll of violent crimes committed by journalists has led some experts to warn that without programs for intensive mental health care, the nation faces a potential bloodbath at the hands of psychopathic media vets.

Write the Pulitzer Committee and demand Iowahawk should win.

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Comments

16 Responses to “Blood-Stained Wretches Terrorize America”

Dov on January 21st, 2008 at 10:49 am

He would get my vote !
Shannon on January 21st, 2008 at 11:33 am

Why CBS chose Perky Katie over Iowahawk will always be a mystery.
fat albert on January 21st, 2008 at 11:35 am

OMG, That had to be the funniest thing i’ve seen in ages! ROTFL! It ought to make the NY Times hang their head in shame. Unfortunately, they probably won’t even get the joke. One of the definitions of “Liberal”: Someone who has absolutely no sense of humor at all.
Big45Iron on January 21st, 2008 at 11:44 am

Let’s not forget the late, ultra liberal, anti-gun Carl Rowan Jr:

http://search.yahoo.com/search?p=carl+rowan%2C+gun%2C+swimming+pool&fr=yfp-t-312&toggle=1&cop=mss&ei=UTF-8

Fortunately his son didn’t pickup his dad’s traits. Carl Rowan III is a former FBI agent and sits on the board of the NRA.
tqs on January 21st, 2008 at 12:05 pm

That is hilarious!! The MSM can prove anything they want with anectdotal evidence. I think it’s great when the tables are turned. Good Job Iowahawk.
Shannon on January 21st, 2008 at 12:44 pm

“The working journalist patrols a world where up is down, black is white, and every gendered pronoun is a potential career killer,” says Owens. “Everything, including reality itself, is secondary to the correct narrative. Honestly, it’s a miracle we’ve kept the violence to the level it is.”

Ominously, Owens warns that the current toll of victims is only the tip of the iceberg.

“With the current media industry economic quagmire, more and more of these people are being turned out in streets, with no discernible skills, especially rudimentary math,” says Owens. “The only thing they know how to do is make stuff up, and they really can’t even do that very well. It’s like a big incompetent powder keg ready to go off.”

Truly frightening.
Fasternu 426 on January 21st, 2008 at 12:49 pm

Using their own logic and tactics against them is funny. Yet they will not grasp it, it’s not nuanced enough.
tedtam on January 21st, 2008 at 1:51 pm

Bloody, bloody brilliant. I wonder how much “play” this will get? And if it will change things?

/not holding breath
Dov on January 21st, 2008 at 2:19 pm

# 8

Are you ready for the 22nd ?
american woman on January 21st, 2008 at 2:21 pm

You are right. The NYT and liberal media won’t get it. They are brighter, more nuanced, in touch with not only their feelings, but the world’s feelings and choose the president. Vomit.
ShinerBlonde on January 21st, 2008 at 4:36 pm

ROTFLMAO! This guy Instahawk is the funniest blogger I’ve run across in years! I’ve bookmarked his new Bolus website and will be reading it regularly.

Thanks for the heads-up, TexPat. I can’t believe I hadn’t heard of Instahawk and his blogging compadres before. Now I’m gonna go work on my letter to the Pulitzer committee.
Fasternu 426 on January 21st, 2008 at 5:21 pm

~~Blood-Stained~~ Poop-Stained Wretches Terrorize America

More appropriate title?
pimlico on January 21st, 2008 at 6:19 pm

Maybe we are seeing a new paradigm. The shift is the turning of the tables on the press. It’s about time that the media, the paparazzi ( spelling?) etc. get the tables turned on them for a change. I used to like the way that Rumsfeld used to argue with their premises. On the other side, unfortunately, we get Bill Clinton having a tantram because a news person with a spine continues to press him. Keep wagging that finger Bill; maybe people will finally see your personality disorder. ( and Hillary’s.)
Adee on January 21st, 2008 at 6:45 pm

Absolutely hysterical piece. Fire it off to several of the “leading, influential” dead-tree rags as a wire service piece.
sargevining on January 21st, 2008 at 7:23 pm

http://lonestartimes.com/2008/01/18/friday-open-comments-43/#comment-234703

Dangit;

How come nobody noticed when I posted this on Friday?
texpat on January 21st, 2008 at 8:23 pm

#15 Sarge

You have to be dapper to be heard, Sarge.