Pop quiz time! Who said the following in an uplifting theological treatise:

No, no, no, God damn America, that’s in the Bible for killing innocent people. God damn America for treating our citizens as less than human. God damn America for as long as she acts like she is God and she is supreme.

Is it:

a. Osama Bin Laden
b. A Hezbollah spokesman
c. The Houston Chronicle editorial board
d. Barack Obama’s pastor

If you answered D, you nailed it.

I bet Mr. Whipple of Charmin fame never saw anything in the bathroom quite like Mr. Whipple the Sheriff did.

A 35-year-old woman who sat on her boyfriend’s toilet for so long that her body was stuck to the seat by the time he called police had a phobia about leaving the bathroom, the boyfriend said.

“She is an adult; she made her own decision,” said her boyfriend, Kory McFarren. “I should have gotten help for her sooner; I admit that. But after a while, you kind of get used to it.”

The case drew nationwide attention after Ness County Sheriff Bryan Whipple said it appeared the Ness City woman’s skin had grown around the seat in the two years she apparently was in the bathroom.

“We pried the toilet seat off with a pry bar and the seat went with her to the hospital,” Whipple said. “The hospital removed it.”

After a while, you kind of get used to to your wife living on the toilet with her pants around her ankles. Alrighty then.

“She was not glued. She was not tied. She was just physically stuck by her body,” Whipple said. “It is hard to imagine. … I still have a hard time imagining it myself.”

Me too.

The editors of the Houston Chronicle have put their pointy heads together and figured out how to solve the rising cost of energy — we should sit on our asses:

However, if enough Americans could learn to sit quietly at home one day a week, or turn to mass transit two workdays out of five, demand for gasoline could be lowered 5 percent or more.

This is the kind of nuanced analysis we get from the only newspaper in the world’s energy capital.

How big do they make those Rubbermaid containers?

Police thought they were handling a routine drug bust at a ritzy hotel until they opened a large container and found a woman’s body preserved on a bed of dry ice.

Acquaintances said Monique Trepp, a 33-year-old aspiring model, died a year ago and that her boyfriend, a convicted drug dealer, held a wake for her at the hotel where he lived for three years. Authorities said she had been dead “a while,” but released few other details.

Trepp’s body was found stuffed in a giant Rubbermaid container packed with dry ice in Royds’ executive suite, which goes for up to $400 per night.

(Photo - Bob Price)

Victory for Quanell X Abdul Farrakhan.

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