Do so love my FireFox. I’d hate to have to look at that mug every time I come here if I couldn’t selectively choose to block it with Adblock. Bink… Dumbo–be-gone.
Mornin all, another day that God has given to us.™
#4
hamous
Let’s see, we have had the Squawk, Hamous photoshop, now all we need is a line of great photoshops of BigJ, Texpat and all the other contributors in a “Where’s Waldo” setting.
One of the principal aims of the Global War on Terror, as well as the war in Iraq, was to turn muslims and muslim nations against al Queda and fight against them alongside us.
Some folks, many of them promient posters here, said that this was a pipe dream, that we’d never be able to stop Iraqis fighting each other (unless we bombed thier cities to dust), let alone have them join us in the fight against al Queda.
In recent weeks, we’ve begun seeing that the Counter Insurgency Strategy, popularly known as “The Surge,” recommended by John McCain and so brilliantly executed by David Petreaus has shown just how wrong those folks were about not being able to stop the fighting.
Now, we’re seeing how wrong they could be about not being able to enlist muslims in the fight against al Queda:
WASHINGTON — The leader of the tribal confederation that has fought to expel Al Qaeda from most of Iraq’s Anbar province is offering his men to help gin up a rebellion against Osama bin Laden’s organization along the Afghanistan-Pakistan border
In an interview, Sheik Ahmad al-Rishawi told The New York Sun that in April he prepared a 47-page study on Afghanistan and its tribes for the deputy chief of mission at the American embassy in Kabul, Christopher Dell. When asked if he would send military advisers to Afghanistan to assist American troops fighting there, he said: “I have no problem with this; if they ask me, I will do it.”
The success of the Anbari tribal rebellion known as the awakening spurred Multinational Forces Iraq to try to emulate the model throughout Iraq, including with the predominately Shiite tribes in the south of the country. Today, the tribe-based militias formed to protect Anbaris from Al Qaeda are forming a political alliance poised to unseat the confessional Sunni parties currently in parliament in the provincial elections scheduled for the fall and the federal ones scheduled for 2009.
May 30, 2008 · Al Gore has an Oscar, an Emmy and a Nobel prize, but can he hit the high notes? He better start practicing. An opera company in Milan has commissioned a full-length opera based on Gore’s film An Inconvenient Truth.
Don’t know if we can solicit sales here, but I have a 1959 Chevy Apache pick-up truck, fully restored exterior and interior - dark blue. (Parade quality.) It has been sitting under a tarp in a garage for the past 7 years.
The garage will be torn down by Sept. 1st and I need to get rid of it. Will sell for what I paid for it and will finance. $6000.
Good Morning! I know that I am several days behind on this but I was out of town fishing with hubby! Yes, we caught quite a few. Anyway, I really like the poster of the boy with the daisy air rifle - American Boy Bill of Rights! I, too, had one in my youth. If my brother had one, I had to have one, also. I found those posters are still available online at the Daisy Museum gift shop for $7.50 ea. One reason I like it so much is that all but 2 of my 9 grandkids are hunters. The 2 that aren’t are only 3 and 6 months! I plan on ordering a poster, framing it and hanging on the den wall with photos of my grandkids with their rifles and most recent hunting successes. Basically, I wanted you all to know that it is easily available.
Well, CPS continues to lose court battles with FLDS. Now it seems some crazy judge in San Antonio thinks that in America that one’s freedom to move about cannot be restricted unless there’s a good reason such as charges pending or something like that. Now where in the world would he get an idea like that. Doesn’t he now understand that in America all you have to do is have an anonymous tipster phone the police and you can be ordered to keep the state informed of your every move and can even be prohibited from going some place else in this country. Wow, some people just don’t get it.
Finally something I can work with. I was beginning to think there wasn’t going to be anymore pictures that needed captions. This one is a good one to get started back on. So, here is my “Top Ten” list of captions for this “BO” moment:
1) When I said “change”, I meant “change” for a buck.
2) I want to declare loud and clear that I’m a “ultra left wing liberal” and damn proud of it.
3) I consider my Senate record “off limits” to the media and John McCain.
4) I have a perfectly good set of questions for any debate.
5) I wouldn’t call myself a “cult leader” maybe a “flip/flopper” like Kerry.
6) Like Bill used to say, “Your getting two for the price of one”.
7) HELLary says she has got “my back” and that really worries me.
Look!! Even if I’m only half black, I can still play the “race card”.
9) And all my “shady” friends are off limits during this campaign.
10) I can’t trust HELLary to say “no” to an offer of the vice presidency.
I know there are a lot more captions available but try these and see if you like them.
A Japanese company (Toyota) and an American company (Ford Motor Co.) decided to have a canoe race on the Missouri River.
Both teams practiced long and hard to reach their peak performance before the race.
On the big day, the Japanese won by a mile.
The Americans, very discouraged and depressed, decided to investigate the reason for the crushing defeat.
A management team made up of senior management was formed to investigate and recommend appropriate action. Their conclusion was the Japanese had 8 people rowing and 1 person steering, while the American team had 7 people steering and 2 people rowing.
Feeling a deeper study was in order; American management hired a consulting company and paid them a large amount of money for a second opinion. They advised, of course, that too many people were steering the boat, while not enough people were rowing.
Not sure of how to utilize that information, but wanting to prevent another loss to the Japanese, the rowing team’s management structure was totally reorganized to 4 steering supervisors, 2 area steering superintendents and 1 assistant superintendent steering manager.
They also implemented a new performance system that would give the 2 people rowing the boat greater incentive to work harder. It was called the ‘Rowing Team Quality First Program,’ with meetings, dinners and free pens for the rowers. There was discussion of getting new paddles, canoes and other equipment, extra vacation days for practices and bonuses. The pension program was trimmed to ‘equal the competition’ and some of the resultant savings were channeled into morale boosting programs and teamwork posters.
The next year the Japanese won by two miles.
Humiliated, the American management laid-off one rower, halted development of a new canoe, sold all the paddles, and canceled all capital investments for new equipment. The money saved was distributed to the Senior Executives as bonuses.
The next year, try as he might, the lone designated rower was unable to even finish the race (having no paddles,) so he was laid off for unacceptable performance, all canoe equipment was sold and the next year’s racing team was out-sourced to India .
Sadly, the End.
Here’s something else to think about: Ford has spent the last thirty years moving all its factories out of the US, claiming they can’t make money paying American wages.
TOYOTA has spent the last thirty years building more than a dozen plants inside the US. The last quarter’s results:
TOYOTA makes 4 billion in profits while Ford racked up 9 billion in losses.
Ford folks are still scratching their heads, and collecting bonuses.
#19 GriffithLea
A lot of what’s in your parable could also be applied to education and other govt bureaucracies.
It’s always amazed me that when companies lay off people, they tend to whack those that do the work rather than those who decide what work should be done. It’s like removing the engine of a ship that keeps going aground rather than the boob who keeps steering it toward the rocks.
A big shot attorney had to spend a couple of days in the hospital. He was a royal pain to the nurses because he bossed them around just like he did his staff. None of the hospital staff wanted to have anything to do with him.
The head nurse was the only one who could stand up to him. She came into his room and announced, ‘I have to take your temperature.’ After complaining for several minutes, he finally settled down, crossed his arms and opened his mouth.
‘No, I’m sorry,’ the nurse stated, ‘but for this reading, I can’t use an oral thermometer.’ This started another round of complaining but eventually he rolled over and bared his behind.
After feeling the nurse insert the thermometer, he heard her announce, ‘I have to get something. Now you stay JUST LIKE THAT until I get back!’
She left the door to his room open on her way out. He cursed under his breath as he heard people walking past his door, laughing.
After a half hour, the man’s doctor came into the room.
‘What’s going on here?’ asked the doctor.
Angrily, the man answered, ‘What’s the matter, Doc? Haven’t you ever seen someone having their temperature taken?’
A duck walked into a pharmacy, and waddled back to the druggist’s counter. The druggist looked at him and chuckled, “Hey little fella! What can I do for you?”
The duck said, “I’d like a box of condoms please.” The pharmacist replied, “Well, sure! Would you like me to put that on your bill?”
Tuesday, June 10, 2008 4:55 AM | Jokes Clean Humor
Sign in a realtor’s office: Lots for little.
Sign in a shoe store: Come in and have a fit.
Sign at entrance of the IRS: Watch your step. Sign at the exit: Watch your mouth.
Sign in a bookstore: We treat you write.
Sign over a cannibal’s hut: I never met a man I didn’t like.
Sign in a science teacher’s room:
If it moves, it’s biology.
If it stinks, it’s chemistry.
If it doesn’t work, it’s physics.
Sign on a door to a psychiatric ward: Please do not disturb further.
Sign in a veterinarian’s waiting room: Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!!
Sign in school near clock: Time will pass; will you?
Sign on music teachers’ door: Out Chopin.
This month’s meeting for the local clairvoyance club has been canceled due to unforeseen circumstances. The meeting has been rescheduled for … well, you know.
Sign in beauty-shop window: Dye now, gray later.
Notice: This week’s paranoia society meeting has been postponed in case of fire.
Sign for a litter of wiener-dog pups: Get a long little doggie!
Sign in a restaurant window: T-bone steak $1.00. Then, in fine print underneath: With meat $12.00.
Sign on the inside of a bathroom stall: Beware of limbo dancers.
A hardware store in Oregon has a sign that reads: Today’s special. Below it says: So’s tomorrow.
Why can’t the Center for Disease Control figure out that those salmonala laced tomatoes grown in Mexico using unprocessed human waste for fertilizer is the source of the problem? Would we rather get sick or have our own farmers suffering just so we can protect Mexico again? Get real.
The room was full of pregnant women and their husbands, and the Lamaze class was in full swing. The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe properly, along with informing the men how to give the necessary assurances at this stage of the plan.
The teacher then announced, “Ladies, exercise is good for you. Walking is especially beneficial. And, gentlemen, it wouldn’t hurt you to take the time to go walking with your wife!” The room really got quiet.
Finally, a man in the middle of the group raised his hand. “Yes?”
replied the teacher.
“Is it all right if she carries a golf bag while we walk?”
A Frenchman, an Englishman, and a New Yorker were captured by a fierce tribe. The chief came to them and said, “The bad news is that now that we’ve caught you, we’re going to kill you, and then use your skins to build a canoe. The good news is that you get to choose how you die.”
The Frenchman said, “I take ze poison.” The chief gave him some poison; the Frenchman shouted, “Vive la France!” and drank it down.
The Englishman said, “A pistol for me, please.” The chief gave him a pistol; he pointed it at his head, shouted “God save the queen!”, and pulled the trigger.
The New Yorker said, “Gimme a fork.” The chief was puzzled, but he shrugged and gave him a fork. The New Yorker took the fork and began jabbing himself all over - the stomach, the sides, the chest, everywhere. Blood was gushing out all over; it was horrible. The chief was appalled, and screamed, “What are you doing?”
The New Yorker looked at the chief and said “I bet your canoe leaks.”
Okay, I used to program for a living. I find this very funny!
*********************************
A programmer had been missing from work for over a week when finally someone noticed and called the cops. They went round to his flat and broke the door down. They found him dead in the still-running shower with an empty bottle of shampoo next to his body.
Apparently he’d been washing his hair.
The instructions on the bottle said:
“Wet hair
Apply shampoo
Lather
Rinse
Repeat”
Sean Hannity’s desperate attempt to stop Obama’s train is not working.
First , the accusation that he was a muslim fell on deaf ears.
Second, his association with unsavory characters including men of God backfired.
The replacement of new brake pads on the train failed to yield desirable results also.
Mr. Hannity is well advised by this troll to hire a bimbo who would go in public and declare that Obama has been her lover for six months or so.
Yeah, that should do it, if this does not work he can call me in the morning!
Get my email from squawk or hamous.
I know a guy that was looking for a truck recently. I know he didn’t find one, the ones he was looking for were pretty pricey for him. $6,000 sounds like a decent price. Send pics and I’ll fwd the email to him.
You forget - libs love bimbos, and the history of the Democrats is that they have no problem with THEIR candidates/representatives having character warts. It is only when they can find something against a Republican that the sky starts to fall.
BTW - oh, forget it. What I was about to say would not only fall on deaf ears but would give you exactly what you want. Go take a chill pill and relax.
MJL Says:
June 10th, 2008 at 8:40 am
Good Morning! I know that I am several days behind on this but I was out of town fishing with hubby! Yes, we caught quite a few. Anyway, I really like the poster of the boy with the daisy air rifle - American Boy Bill of Rights! I, too, had one in my youth. If my brother had one, I had to have one, also. I found those posters are still available online at the Daisy Museum gift shop for $7.50 ea. One reason I like it so much is that all but 2 of my 9 grandkids are hunters. The 2 that aren’t are only 3 and 6 months! I plan on ordering a poster, framing it and hanging on the den wall with photos of my grandkids with their rifles and most recent hunting successes. Basically, I wanted you all to know that it is easily available.
I’m dreaming that you caught redfish, specs and flounder. Mmmmm.
Thanks for the info on the poster. I love vintage things!
LOL ST, that reminded me of when they did the reprise of Leave It To Beaver - Still The Beaver back in 1983. Wally is having trouble with his wife. Mrs. Cleaver tells him that when she and Ward Cleaver had trouble, they used to go fishing up at some lake, and Wally should take his wife there.
Wally looks funny at his mom and tells her that it’s a ridiculous idea, because everybody knows there’s no fish in that lake.
Loading ...
Not HIM again…
Good news, all….
Brokeback Mountain will be an opera for all of those upper crust gay cowboys and those that love them…
Do so love my FireFox. I’d hate to have to look at that mug every time I come here if I couldn’t selectively choose to block it with Adblock. Bink… Dumbo–be-gone.
Where’s the Hamous Head, part III
Jim Johnson just spent the last 4 days exchanging soufle recipes with the Bildies in Chantilly.
Word has it that Barack and Hillary popped in to say hi.
Mornin all, another day that God has given to us.™
#4
hamous
Let’s see, we have had the Squawk, Hamous photoshop, now all we need is a line of great photoshops of BigJ, Texpat and all the other contributors in a “Where’s Waldo” setting.
#4 LOL, that was good.
One of the principal aims of the Global War on Terror, as well as the war in Iraq, was to turn muslims and muslim nations against al Queda and fight against them alongside us.
Some folks, many of them promient posters here, said that this was a pipe dream, that we’d never be able to stop Iraqis fighting each other (unless we bombed thier cities to dust), let alone have them join us in the fight against al Queda.
In recent weeks, we’ve begun seeing that the Counter Insurgency Strategy, popularly known as “The Surge,” recommended by John McCain and so brilliantly executed by David Petreaus has shown just how wrong those folks were about not being able to stop the fighting.
Now, we’re seeing how wrong they could be about not being able to enlist muslims in the fight against al Queda:
http://www.nysun.com/foreign/help-against-bin-laden-is-proffered/79524/
http://www.nysun.com/foreign/help-against-bin-laden-is-proffered/79524/
#2 myheadhurts - you think that’s bad:
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=90981461
Think he’ll look like this?
http://img126.imageshack.us/img126/9716/opera02xg4.jpg
Don’t know if we can solicit sales here, but I have a 1959 Chevy Apache pick-up truck, fully restored exterior and interior - dark blue. (Parade quality.) It has been sitting under a tarp in a garage for the past 7 years.
The garage will be torn down by Sept. 1st and I need to get rid of it. Will sell for what I paid for it and will finance. $6000.
Interested buyers will be sent a pic.
Good Morning! I know that I am several days behind on this but I was out of town fishing with hubby! Yes, we caught quite a few. Anyway, I really like the poster of the boy with the daisy air rifle - American Boy Bill of Rights! I, too, had one in my youth. If my brother had one, I had to have one, also. I found those posters are still available online at the Daisy Museum gift shop for $7.50 ea. One reason I like it so much is that all but 2 of my 9 grandkids are hunters. The 2 that aren’t are only 3 and 6 months! I plan on ordering a poster, framing it and hanging on the den wall with photos of my grandkids with their rifles and most recent hunting successes. Basically, I wanted you all to know that it is easily available.
AW - I have sent “the speech” to McCain’s website. No one else has responded, so we’ll see if his campaign even reads it.
Liz - have you put the truck on Craigslist?
Well, CPS continues to lose court battles with FLDS. Now it seems some crazy judge in San Antonio thinks that in America that one’s freedom to move about cannot be restricted unless there’s a good reason such as charges pending or something like that. Now where in the world would he get an idea like that. Doesn’t he now understand that in America all you have to do is have an anonymous tipster phone the police and you can be ordered to keep the state informed of your every move and can even be prohibited from going some place else in this country. Wow, some people just don’t get it.
Oops, forgot the link
http://www.chron.com/disp/story.mpl/life/religion/5828409.html
#11 LizBV Sounds like a sweet ride.
It’s been approximately one billion seconds since 1959.
Finally something I can work with. I was beginning to think there wasn’t going to be anymore pictures that needed captions. This one is a good one to get started back on. So, here is my “Top Ten” list of captions for this “BO” moment:
1) When I said “change”, I meant “change” for a buck.
2) I want to declare loud and clear that I’m a “ultra left wing liberal” and damn proud of it.
3) I consider my Senate record “off limits” to the media and John McCain.
4) I have a perfectly good set of questions for any debate.
5) I wouldn’t call myself a “cult leader” maybe a “flip/flopper” like Kerry.
6) Like Bill used to say, “Your getting two for the price of one”.
7) HELLary says she has got “my back” and that really worries me.
9) And all my “shady” friends are off limits during this campaign.
10) I can’t trust HELLary to say “no” to an offer of the vice presidency.
I know there are a lot more captions available but try these and see if you like them.
Just got this from a friend:
The Race
A Japanese company (Toyota) and an American company (Ford Motor Co.) decided to have a canoe race on the Missouri River.
Both teams practiced long and hard to reach their peak performance before the race.
On the big day, the Japanese won by a mile.
The Americans, very discouraged and depressed, decided to investigate the reason for the crushing defeat.
A management team made up of senior management was formed to investigate and recommend appropriate action. Their conclusion was the Japanese had 8 people rowing and 1 person steering, while the American team had 7 people steering and 2 people rowing.
Feeling a deeper study was in order; American management hired a consulting company and paid them a large amount of money for a second opinion. They advised, of course, that too many people were steering the boat, while not enough people were rowing.
Not sure of how to utilize that information, but wanting to prevent another loss to the Japanese, the rowing team’s management structure was totally reorganized to 4 steering supervisors, 2 area steering superintendents and 1 assistant superintendent steering manager.
They also implemented a new performance system that would give the 2 people rowing the boat greater incentive to work harder. It was called the ‘Rowing Team Quality First Program,’ with meetings, dinners and free pens for the rowers. There was discussion of getting new paddles, canoes and other equipment, extra vacation days for practices and bonuses. The pension program was trimmed to ‘equal the competition’ and some of the resultant savings were channeled into morale boosting programs and teamwork posters.
The next year the Japanese won by two miles.
Humiliated, the American management laid-off one rower, halted development of a new canoe, sold all the paddles, and canceled all capital investments for new equipment. The money saved was distributed to the Senior Executives as bonuses.
The next year, try as he might, the lone designated rower was unable to even finish the race (having no paddles,) so he was laid off for unacceptable performance, all canoe equipment was sold and the next year’s racing team was out-sourced to India .
Sadly, the End.
Here’s something else to think about: Ford has spent the last thirty years moving all its factories out of the US, claiming they can’t make money paying American wages.
TOYOTA has spent the last thirty years building more than a dozen plants inside the US. The last quarter’s results:
TOYOTA makes 4 billion in profits while Ford racked up 9 billion in losses.
Ford folks are still scratching their heads, and collecting bonuses.
#19 GriffithLea
A lot of what’s in your parable could also be applied to education and other govt bureaucracies.
It’s always amazed me that when companies lay off people, they tend to whack those that do the work rather than those who decide what work should be done. It’s like removing the engine of a ship that keeps going aground rather than the boob who keeps steering it toward the rocks.
OMG! I may have to write this guy in . . .
http://therealgunguys.com/blog/2008/05/30/captain-kirk-for-president/
I think I saw a familiar face in there somewhere:
http://www.collegeafterhours.com/content/media/wewantbeernow.jpg
#21 slash
I agree! Great candidate - and he has multicultural skills out the wazoo!
#18 Robert 1 Nice list! My favorite:
Do you need help remembering chores to be done? Afraid you’ll forget an anniversary? Need to be nagged to work out? Here’s a site to help you:
http://www.hassleme.co.uk/
Just to show you how easy it is to write a “Top Ten” list of captions when the subject matter is as easy as “BO” is, here is another list:
1) How hard could it be to be President, Jimmy Carter did it??
2) My sheer association with a known terrorist makes me qualified to be “commander-in-chief”.
3) Obviously my inexperience is not a factor, I duped the Dimwits into voting for me didn’t I.
4) Did you all like the way I beat HELLary like a drum?? And played Bill like a saxaphone!!
5) I don’t want to go to Iraq, I’m allergic to “sniper fire”.
6) I know I’m the “anointed one”, the Rev. Wrong told me so, so why an election??
7) Yeah, I’m afraid HELLary will play the “Vince Foster” card before the convention.
9) Yeah, either Jesse or Al would make a great Secretary of State.
10) If it wasn’t for affirmative action, I won’t have gotten into law school ahead of people smarter than me.
See how easy that was!!!! Enjoy.
TEST - taptaptap………dis thing ON?
NEVER TICK OFF A NURSE
A big shot attorney had to spend a couple of days in the hospital. He was a royal pain to the nurses because he bossed them around just like he did his staff. None of the hospital staff wanted to have anything to do with him.
The head nurse was the only one who could stand up to him. She came into his room and announced, ‘I have to take your temperature.’ After complaining for several minutes, he finally settled down, crossed his arms and opened his mouth.
‘No, I’m sorry,’ the nurse stated, ‘but for this reading, I can’t use an oral thermometer.’ This started another round of complaining but eventually he rolled over and bared his behind.
After feeling the nurse insert the thermometer, he heard her announce, ‘I have to get something. Now you stay JUST LIKE THAT until I get back!’
She left the door to his room open on her way out. He cursed under his breath as he heard people walking past his door, laughing.
After a half hour, the man’s doctor came into the room.
‘What’s going on here?’ asked the doctor.
Angrily, the man answered, ‘What’s the matter, Doc? Haven’t you ever seen someone having their temperature taken?’
After a pause, the doctor confessed…..
‘Not with a carnation.’
A duck walked into a pharmacy, and waddled back to the druggist’s counter. The druggist looked at him and chuckled, “Hey little fella! What can I do for you?”
The duck said, “I’d like a box of condoms please.” The pharmacist replied, “Well, sure! Would you like me to put that on your bill?”
The duck said, “I’m not that kind of duck!”
Tuesday, June 10, 2008 4:55 AM | Jokes Clean Humor
Sign in a realtor’s office: Lots for little.
Sign in a shoe store: Come in and have a fit.
Sign at entrance of the IRS: Watch your step. Sign at the exit: Watch your mouth.
Sign in a bookstore: We treat you write.
Sign over a cannibal’s hut: I never met a man I didn’t like.
Sign in a science teacher’s room:
If it moves, it’s biology.
If it stinks, it’s chemistry.
If it doesn’t work, it’s physics.
Sign on a door to a psychiatric ward: Please do not disturb further.
Sign in a veterinarian’s waiting room: Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!!
Sign in school near clock: Time will pass; will you?
Sign on music teachers’ door: Out Chopin.
This month’s meeting for the local clairvoyance club has been canceled due to unforeseen circumstances. The meeting has been rescheduled for … well, you know.
Sign in beauty-shop window: Dye now, gray later.
Notice: This week’s paranoia society meeting has been postponed in case of fire.
Sign for a litter of wiener-dog pups: Get a long little doggie!
Sign in a restaurant window: T-bone steak $1.00. Then, in fine print underneath: With meat $12.00.
Sign on the inside of a bathroom stall: Beware of limbo dancers.
A hardware store in Oregon has a sign that reads: Today’s special. Below it says: So’s tomorrow.
Come ON, guys! A little levity! A little action!
Ha Ha those are funny!
For all of us over 50 who need to take some things seriously, there was a sign on the 2nd floor at Herman Memorial in The Woodlands:
There is an alternative to colonoscopty. It’s called colon cancer.
Get it done.
Well, colonoscopy isn’t easy to spell, even when you are typing well.
Finally some proof. Just as I suspected, Obama is Hitler reincarnated:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yTp_atr2G9E
Why can’t the Center for Disease Control figure out that those salmonala laced tomatoes grown in Mexico using unprocessed human waste for fertilizer is the source of the problem? Would we rather get sick or have our own farmers suffering just so we can protect Mexico again? Get real.
33 An amazing number of choices when you Google “Colonoscopy Song”.
Some of them are actually funny.
PICTURE CAPTION:
Read my lips. I did NOT have financial relations with that convicted criminal, Tony Rezko.
A gang of robbers broke into a lawyer’s club by mistake. The old legal lions gave them a fight for their lives. The gang was very happy to escape.
“It ain’t so bad,” one crook noted. “We got out with $25 between us.”
“I warned you to stay clear of lawyers!”, the boss screamed. “We had over $100 when we broke in!”
Lamaze Class
The room was full of pregnant women and their husbands, and the Lamaze class was in full swing. The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe properly, along with informing the men how to give the necessary assurances at this stage of the plan.
The teacher then announced, “Ladies, exercise is good for you. Walking is especially beneficial. And, gentlemen, it wouldn’t hurt you to take the time to go walking with your wife!” The room really got quiet.
Finally, a man in the middle of the group raised his hand. “Yes?”
replied the teacher.
“Is it all right if she carries a golf bag while we walk?”
A Frenchman, an Englishman, and a New Yorker were captured by a fierce tribe. The chief came to them and said, “The bad news is that now that we’ve caught you, we’re going to kill you, and then use your skins to build a canoe. The good news is that you get to choose how you die.”
The Frenchman said, “I take ze poison.” The chief gave him some poison; the Frenchman shouted, “Vive la France!” and drank it down.
The Englishman said, “A pistol for me, please.” The chief gave him a pistol; he pointed it at his head, shouted “God save the queen!”, and pulled the trigger.
The New Yorker said, “Gimme a fork.” The chief was puzzled, but he shrugged and gave him a fork. The New Yorker took the fork and began jabbing himself all over - the stomach, the sides, the chest, everywhere. Blood was gushing out all over; it was horrible. The chief was appalled, and screamed, “What are you doing?”
The New Yorker looked at the chief and said “I bet your canoe leaks.”
Okay, I used to program for a living. I find this very funny!
*********************************
A programmer had been missing from work for over a week when finally someone noticed and called the cops. They went round to his flat and broke the door down. They found him dead in the still-running shower with an empty bottle of shampoo next to his body.
Apparently he’d been washing his hair.
The instructions on the bottle said:
“Wet hair
Apply shampoo
Lather
Rinse
Repeat”
Sean Hannity’s desperate attempt to stop Obama’s train is not working.
First , the accusation that he was a muslim fell on deaf ears.
Second, his association with unsavory characters including men of God backfired.
The replacement of new brake pads on the train failed to yield desirable results also.
Mr. Hannity is well advised by this troll to hire a bimbo who would go in public and declare that Obama has been her lover for six months or so.
Yeah, that should do it, if this does not work he can call me in the morning!
Somebody forgot to lock the door.
#11 LizBV
Get my email from squawk or hamous.
I know a guy that was looking for a truck recently. I know he didn’t find one, the ones he was looking for were pretty pricey for him. $6,000 sounds like a decent price. Send pics and I’ll fwd the email to him.
You forget - libs love bimbos, and the history of the Democrats is that they have no problem with THEIR candidates/representatives having character warts. It is only when they can find something against a Republican that the sky starts to fall.
BTW - oh, forget it. What I was about to say would not only fall on deaf ears but would give you exactly what you want. Go take a chill pill and relax.
# 46
This troll only comes here when he is completely relaxed!
Sending him back to relax even more might be injurious to his health!
Request denied!
Katfish
A few of our own also.
S.E. Texas PGR
This BLAST contains the following:
Final Itinerary for AIR AMBULANCE CREW, Bryan Tx, Jun 11 S.E. Texas PGR Open Volunteer Positions
SHORT NOTICE
Final Itinerary
PHI MEDICAL HELICOPTER CREW
Memorial Service
11 June 08
PHI & The Families have asked for PGR participation. Members of the PHI Staff are Patriot Guard Riders as well.
48 Dov
Kat is on the road. Headed for a Bikers Against Child Abuse meeting.
49
Another good cause
I’m dreaming that you caught redfish, specs and flounder. Mmmmm.
Thanks for the info on the poster. I love vintage things!
LOL ST, that reminded me of when they did the reprise of Leave It To Beaver - Still The Beaver back in 1983. Wally is having trouble with his wife. Mrs. Cleaver tells him that when she and Ward Cleaver had trouble, they used to go fishing up at some lake, and Wally should take his wife there.
Wally looks funny at his mom and tells her that it’s a ridiculous idea, because everybody knows there’s no fish in that lake.
Mrs. Cleaver just smiles, and says, yes, I know.
Man you guys are slowing down…fewer and fewer comments on the OC thread!!
You guys miss me don’t ya?
We fell far short of the projected 1,000,000 signatures. And yup LST is slowing down very much.
From Grassfire
“Ron De Jong and I are on Capitol Hill getting ready to present nearly 250,000 petitions to key Congressman in the battle to secure our borders”